this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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[–] DNU@lemmy.world 1 points 10 minutes ago

thats why i dont shake hands anymore.

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 4 points 8 hours ago

Mine has also been up to the wrist in vagina, with moderate colon (limited to the digits). I let people know this before they shake my hand, in the spirit of transparency.

[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 91 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (2 children)

Proper uncensored version thanks to @baatliwala@lemmy.world

Couldn't find a wild uncensored version, so here's an edited version. #FuckCensorship

[–] socsa@piefed.social 21 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Ohhhh i thought it said duck and I was confused

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 8 points 16 hours ago

What a quack.

[–] baatliwala@lemmy.world 6 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Wow way to suck Google images

[–] baatliwala@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago

Circle to search is surprisingly good

[–] mhague@lemmy.world 19 points 14 hours ago

If you post censored shit I'm going to PM you shittingdicknipples and lemonparty.

/shakes tiny fist wistfully

[–] Earflap@reddthat.com 3 points 11 hours ago
[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 33 points 19 hours ago

I hold a duck once, didn't know it was that widespread.

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 12 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

I wonder what it says under that grey bar. No way to tell.

[–] apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 15 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Don't threaten me with a good time.

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 7 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

You'll touch my dick and you'll like it goddammit

[–] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 15 points 19 hours ago

Pftt I’m not afraid of a drink!

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 8 points 17 hours ago

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

[–] growsomethinggood@reddthat.com 7 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

Counterpoint: a greater number have touched a vagina (but that framing doesn't obsess over a woman's sexual purity, so, clearly less important)

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 5 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Everyone has touched a vagina. You at least passed one on the way out.

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 11 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Not people who were born via Caesarean.

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 6 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

The amount of technical correctness in this post is out of this world

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 3 points 10 hours ago

That one pissed off Macbeth, too.

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[–] MudMan@fedia.io 7 points 19 hours ago

I should hope so. If somebody shook my hand and, while maintaining eye contact, and confessed they've been free-willying every pee of their life, hands behand their head, I would have to seriously reconsider our relationship.

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

"Almost" is a bit optimistic. Are femcels getting office jobs these days?

[–] frayedpickles@lemmy.cafe 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

Some people are straight and left handed. Typically shake with your right. Possible to split the responsibility completely although has to be rare.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 2 points 15 hours ago

While I was shaking it.

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