Growing up in a house with sa at any age. For me I raw dogged life for my adult years blocking it out but stuff catches up and can be catastrophic.
this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
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What is SA?
trigger warning
sexual abuse
I feel that. I'm about to be 23 and now it's on my mind again for some reason and idk what to do.
I grew up in a hoarder house and I'm pretty sure I ruined my life by teaching myself to do the dishes as a kid. I was expected to keep the place clean for the rest of my childhood, and that turned into me being the only one to do chores of any kind. I was actually guilt tripped into skipping college so I'd be available to drive my sister to classes.
So yeah forget all the drugs and murder and shit. The real worst thing a child can do is wash a dish.
Having success in sports, entertainment or anything that pays out real money. There's not a lot of happy stories about child stars.
You're never too young to die, so the saying goes.
Being conceived by shitty people is more than enough to have a life arguably ruined permanently before it even began.
So much can happen to ruin a person's life at any stage, even pre-conception.
OP is asking about wrong/bad/poor choices etc, the last sentence of their post specifically says it's not about situations that are inflicted upon them.
You're right; those were poor choices by the parents.
Really, the question is more about "When do we stop attributing bad choices to the parent and start attributing them to the child?"
Because babies and toddlers can make lots of stupid decisions.
I would argue that babies and toddlers wouldn't be held accountable for their bad choices, even though they could foreseeably be life changing for the worst, if they stuck their hand in a blender for example. Although you could argue that in this case a parent/carer should not leave a young child near a dangerous object.
Most people would agree that a person that is fully accountable when they are considered an adult, we usually apply the arbitrary age of 18, although I do find it strange that a person that is 17 years, 364 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds old is a child and one second later they're magically an adult.
There is definitely a grey area in the early teens or possibly even younger where you can definitely make a decision that ruins your life. An example that comes to mind is when two ten year old boys stole a toddler, then tortured, sexually assaulted and murdered him. They were judged as having the ability to act with criminal intent, found guilty and sentenced to prison.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_James_Bulger?wprov=sfla1
If, when you're born, you don't choose to be rich, that messes you up forever.
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Being born homeless.
To be fair, OP is asking about bad/poor/wrong decisions, the last sentence of their post specifically says it's not about situations that are inflicted upon them. No one gets to choose where they are born.
I was watching a Netflix documtary about killers, the guy said he was on drugs by age 9...so pretty sure that messed up his life before the murder. It is debatable on if surroundings or self choices are why you try drugs I guess.
It takes a certain kind of environment to enable that.
Right, "should I do drugs?" is not a typical choice for a 9 year old to have to make, they should be protected from that. I have heard stories of particularly shitty parents giving drugs to their own young children.
Agreed. Also Nancy Reagan told me not to, and I was not in a position to argue.
Well, if Nancy said so, it must be true.
Any significant injury that results in paralysis would be a potential candidate. These become possible as soon as you become old enough to climb things like trees.
A kid in my class put his arm inside a... I don't remember if it was a lion or tiger cage back on the 70s before safety was a thing. Being armless isn't the end, but I bet he regretted that decision.
There went all his hopes for an army career. No more pitching for the Mets. No more professional arm wrestling. No more rowing competitions, or stirring huge pots of gruel.
Diving head first into shallow water comes to mind
Also: eating random slug you find on the street.
Nah. You could still be nominated for director of HHS.
yeah. rat lungworm.
Drugs at any age. Sure you can get clean but it takes a very pacific type of person to do that and there are more people who have failed then ones who have succeeded. I made the mistake of using drugs at a young age and it has destroyed my life beyond repair. If there are any young people reading this just remember it's not worth it. Trust me nobody hates drugs more then drugheads.
Any age? Sure someone can drug and rape a 5 year old. But even with 8 it's hard to get the cash for a proper addiction. You mind sharing about what age you fucked up to calibrate my compass?
In the end, this was about self inflicted damage. Not someone abusing you.
Well, no one does date grape for fun. No one's addicted to date grape and it doesn't matter if you have the money as long as you have the taste for it. I started doing drugs at age 14. Things like weed, benadryl, LSD, glue and shooms. In the long run I shouldn't have done it but I will admit I do have some nostalgia for doing them with my old friends.
Playing with fireworks, firearms, or chemicals can be a solid way for anyone of any age to ruin their life.
But doesnβt that count as an accident? Kids who play with fireworks donβt cram a steel can full of black powder imagining how cool it would be to loose your fingers and eyes.
Maybe kids are too short sighted to see the risk, but who says they donβt do that? Among the stupid things I did as a kid was try to turn any tube into a gun/cannon/firework mortar, and hold it in my hands to aim and launch. We even had the benefit of my grandfather losing a couple fingers as a cautionary tale, that we completely ignored. If something happened, could you really call that an accident?
Or the time we were playing with fireworks β¦. In a barn full of dry hay? I donβt know how my grandfather let us live after that one
β¦.. but thereβs a threshold of stupidity where you really canβt call it an accident. Iβm happy to have survived in one piece all too many bouts of stupidity but the adult me wouldnβt call it an accident if something happened
Hmm. I guess there is a category that isnβt entirely premeditated and intentional, nor is it a freak accident either. Itβs sort of like an accident, but itβs caused be reckless stupidity, as opposed to something beyond your control.
As people have noticed, there are lots of reckless decisions that can ruin your life. I guess that fits the description of what OP was looking for.
I remember as a kid, I met these other kids that would drink from the side of the street. That sewer water was full of nasty including gas and oil runoff from the roads and who knows what else.
I also had an ex that would drink the chemicals under the sink as a tiny kid.
That's crazy... where did you grow up?
Los angeles
Be born a woman in Afghanistan... come out the womb to "And that's when she knew she had fucked up."
I'm not certain if this is in the spirit of your question but even a murderer in the US has privileges denied to a lot of other people.
Actually, the younger you fuck up, the worse are the consequences. A 13 year old go in a school fight, he is kicked out of school, has to go in another school further away, sleep less, see his grade fall down, and next year he'll be pushed to start an apprenticeship rather than high school.
A 31 one year old (otherwise a good citizen) does the same. He'll spend a night in police custody and at worst pays a fine (with a high probability that change are dropped because judges and prosecutor are busy)
I agree with your general point but I don't agree with your example because apprenticeship can still lead to stable employment and a fulfilling life
what can a ten year old do(besides mass murder & accidents) that messes up their life so badly that it is unrecoverable?
kill their own parents (it's not technically mass murder until you've killed three people).
A ten year old can rush out into the road and become paralyzed for life.
Whatever the country's age of criminal conviction (typically 18). It's hard enough to get a job WITHOUT a criminal record.
Depending on the country and/or crime, a juvenile record will also prevent being able to work in certain jobs/industries.