Ask Lemmy

You are two separate people, so you can do two separate things.

Yay freedom.

This is easy. Whoever's doing the cooking does it their own way. If you don't like it, then you do the cooking so it can be done your way.

You enjoy cooking, she doesn't. You can cook from scratch, she can heat up the frozen stuff. I don't see why this is cause for an argument.

I think the one who cooks should do things their way and the others should not interfere unless there's some kind of medical concern.

Sometimes I don't have the motivation to cook, sometimes I do. Sometimes I have the motivation to get shit done that isn't in the kitchen. Throwing a pizza in the oven can buy me an extra hour of working on something else because I don't have to come in early to wash up, prep, cook, then wash the damn dishes.

Have both options available.

I have two suggestions: homemade pre-made, and why not both.

You can pre-make things like pancake mix, taco seasoning, pasta sauce seasoning, etc. write any instructions on the ziplock bag or container.

Instant items from a box or bag can usually be dressed up with fresh foods. If she’s cooking then offer to prep fresh items.

Also, respect that some people simple have no patience for cooking and don’t want to learn any. Communicate with each other to understand how to make it work.

I try to make everything from scratch, but sometimes I make pre made when I know I'm avoiding eating because I don't feel like cooking. If I make pre made though, I'll always add something to it to bulk it out. Ramen? Handfuls of frozen veg. Frozen pizza? Slap mushrooms, peppers, onions on top. Pasta sauce? Spinach, homemade stock, and carrots.

To me, its about health. I know processed food isn't healthy, so I want to mitigate the damage.

If you have time, make food for the whole week and you eat "pre-made food" (point for your wife) made by you from scratch (point for yourself)😁

Its all a very complex equation of quality vs additives vs effort vs cost vs time vs storability vs fridge life vs convenience.

Some stuff is just too much or too little of some of them.

Personally, as with a lot of the comments, I'm in the food-prep and make it yourself crowd.

I found a book that dives into the details of when it is and isn't worth making things from scratch.

It's called Make the Bread, Buy the Butter.

Honestly, I haven't read it yet. I bought it and let my mom borrow it immediately, but when I get it back I think it will an interesting read.

Quite frequently I have no energy. But me and my husband need to eat. So premade it is. When I do have energy? I'll cook, bake, from scratch! And if I have a lot off energy, maybe I'll premake something and freeze it, like ravioli or a lasagna.

My wife is definitely team 'make it from scratch'.

She is also a very slow cook. We also have an infant that is currently taking up 110% of our time.

It's hard for me to justify spending two hours a night preparing a lunch for the next day. She likes to sleep in, so I never get to eat it fresh.. it's always leftovers.

I don't mind cooking something fresh for lunch or dinner, but I'll do something that takes 20 minutes of prep and then take care of itself on the stove or in the oven. Chilli, pot roast, or a casserole.

I think frozen dinners probably have a better balance of protein/carbs/veg than either of us makes, and at half the price.

I don't know if it's just where I am in life but I... I just can't be fucked to do stuff man, I'm too ADHD, depressed, autistic, busy, stressed, whatever I don't know.

I buy canned tomato sauce from Sam's Club and meatballs. It's actually reasonably good sauce, they usually have some decent pasta on offer of some variety. That's about as much as you can really ask of me at this point in my life.

Pro tip, make the premade stuff. Make like a gallon of pasta sauce and freeze/can it all. Make like 5 pounds of meatballs and freeze them.

I like to make my pasta sauce when I can, from tomatoes. If you are a fast chopper, it goes by really quickly. Super thin slice it, add some diced enough, maybe some shredded carrot and celery, add some crushed garlic, salt, pepper and some seasonings. In around an hour or so you will have made a bunch of it.

Also look for professional advice for canning, cause idk if my way is the safest. I boil some water in the can in the microwave, dump it then add the pasta sauce, and close it really tight with an oven mitt.

I also grind my own meat, with just a knife. Dice the meat into small cubes and mince it for a while. I do it until it can form a cohesive meatball. Also consider what you'll use it for, if its just being tossed in a bolognese sauce, it doesn't need to be so fine.

You can make pizzas ahead of time too, roll the dough, add marinara, mozzarella and wrap it in foil and put it in the freezer.

I make my own stock too. I'll collect bones and veggie scraps in a freezer bag, and when it's full, I dump it in a slow cooker, set it and forget it. The store bought stuff is basically just water. If it's tasteless, it's baseless.

I've also frozen lasagna portions too, fully cooked. If raw its impossible to cook them without completely de-thawing them.

I also have a box of instant cake batter I mixed together myself. It's like a year old but it's still not terrible!

Cooking from scratch is almost always going to be less expensive, better tasting, and healthier.

Cooking with pre-made ingredients is often faster and easier.

For me, the decision is often predicated on how much energy I have. Sometimes prepping all the ingredients and the resulting cleanup feels like an impossible undertaking. Which is a shame because I'm a good cook - but sometimes I hate cooking.

Meal prepping or making batch meals is often a happy medium. Homemade food that you can later just reheat. If anybody has tips for making it feel less like I'm eating leftovers all the time, I'm happy to hear them

I would prefer to make it from scratch. But it's usually cheaper to use frozen and I'm a broke bitch, so that's usually what I have.

Pancakes definitely don't matter. They're easy because it's just mixing a few powders and some milk or water and egg. Why not just buy those powders already mixed with a binder? Unless it's Bisquick. Fuck Bisquick pancakes. They're just flat dinner biscuits!

Having a frozen lasagne is better than taking the full effort when...

Last month i made two lasagnas in one day and had none of it. I cut them up in pieces and froze them into 24 pieces. Now we have home made lasagna for those days where we dont feel like cooking dinner. It really does not need to take too much time and if you enjoy it, there is no need to not do it.

Most of the time I wish the nutrients would just enter my system without me ever having to think or do anything about it. So I get as close to that as possible.

I would like to cook more as it just tastes way better (and is much more healthy), but I'm always exhausted especially after work. I suppose my answer is that right now I'm eating a lot of prepared (refrigerated or frozen) food, but would prefer home-cooked meals.

If a lasagna is more effort than you want to put in, there are lots of recipes for “deconstructed” lasagna, so you can make it yourself much easier!

If you take the time to make food, especially smelling it as it cooks, it gives your body time to get excited about it and improves digestion.

Your way is always going to be significantly healthier. Among other issues I think you'll find eating food your wife prefers puts you both well over the recommended sodium intake for a day. This is likely to shorten your life due to heart health.

The healthiest way to shop is to stick to the outside of the super market and skip the packaged foods in the middle.

Nostalgia or not, eating packaged food to often is very unhealthy. Maybe broach it with your wife and ask her if you can satiate her nostalgia in moderation. Having something she really loves out of a package only once or twice a week.

This sounds like it has much less to do with food and much more to do with OP’s relationship

My stance is that if you make it from scratch then you know exactly what is in it. If you buy premixed then you don't. Even worse if you buy pre cooked or even frozen after cooking then you're basically eating like if you'd eat reheated leftovers, half of the flavour which makes it taste good is gone.

If time is a problem I can live with not having the most of the flavour, but otherwise I totally enjoy the fresh made.

anyone who seriously cooks will pick their battles. why make a cake from scratch when boxed mix is just as good. seriously, ask any pro baker.

premix or premade doesn't matter, as long as the end results are the same, good food that can be enjoyed.

if you like cooking because you make everything by scratch, go for it. just know the only reason why it tastes better is because you think it tastes better. when you get down to it, chemicals are chemicals, and cooking is a branch of chemistry.

Cooking your own meals with unprocessed ingredients is one of the basic parts of a healthy diet.

If you practice a bit cooking a home made meal can be done in less than 30 minutes. If times a issue I have some 20 minute recipes.

I make sure to have a basic stock of ingredients like pasta, flour, some vegetable stock cubes, some assorted spices, onions, fresh garlic,...

Cooking from scratch is excellent... But there's also an extreme for how far you consider "cooking from scratch" to actually be "from scratch"... For Example: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C76cACZB0oq/

Do you milk the cows yourself? Churn the butter? Etc.

Your health says avoid pre-made mixes as much as possible. I'm no salt-phobe (insufficient salt is a greater concern for 99% of people than too much), but even I shy away from the insane amounts of salt/sodium in anything packaged. Some stuff has more sodium in it than anyone should have in a day.

Plus, pre-made mixes often aren't anywhere near as good as making something yourself, and usually more expensive, even allowing for your own time.

There are exceptions of course, but I have spreadsheets to calculate costs of mixes, meals, you name it, and it's rare when something is cheaper to buy pre-made.

Dishwasher detergent powder is the same cost as making myself. As is onion soup mix, gravy mix powder, etc. Most other mixes I make as I go along - making chili uses a mix of different spices which I keep on hand. And I have 3 different chili recipes that use different spice mixes, and the end result is very different. I have a few recipes like this (creole/Cajun for example), that technically use the same spices, but not the same mix, and are very different for it.

I don't understand people like your wife (or one of my siblings) that seem to view eating as just something necessary, (bless their hearts 😁, as my southern family would say)...good food is crucial to me, it's not just something I do to get by. I mean it's something we have to do a few times every day of our lives. I want that experience to be as good as I can as often as I can.