this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2024
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[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I sit down on the toilet, open Lemmy, this is the first thing I see.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Quick!! He's distracted! Go, go, go!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago

Dude, behind you

[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 week ago (4 children)

This reminds me of the time I got a mouthful of ants. Bastards were climbing all over my straw, and it was to dark to see. 0/10 would not recommended.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Now that reminds me of a story my dad told me once. In like the 70s he went on a road trip with a few friends and they ended up driving to Mexico and had to stop for the night because it was pitch black and they didn’t know where they were.

So they pulled over on a dead quiet road and set up the car to sleep in it. They didn’t have much food but saw mango’s growing in trees right along the road. They thought it was weird there was so much fruit growing at the side of the road when it wasn’t a farm or orchard or anything. It was delicious and free.

The next morning they had proper light and thought they’d have a couple more mangos before heading out. As soon as they cut into it they saw it was TEEMING with wriggling little bugs all inside the fruit. In the dark they didn’t see nor feel the bugs.

They did not eat more mangos that morning.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

The ships biscuit experience, eat it below deck so you can't see the weevils your eating

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A while ago, I moved to a rural area and placed my recliner next to a semi open fireplace / chimney.

In that timeframe, many times I've had an unattended open topped cup containing a sugary beverage with a straw on it; most of those times it's been a fine experience.

Two of those times, I've picked up the beverage without looking in the cup and taken a few big chugs through the straw, only to then look in the cup as I set it down and realize that there was a spider type critter (once an unidentified species, once a harvestman).

Both times I immediately spat out anything I could and went for mouthwash.

Nowadays I look in my cups before chugging.

I wish I had a better place for my cups.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'd invest in a drinking vessel with a lid, perhaps. And also, one of those zappers shaped like a tennis racket in case of dangerous critters. Or maybe one of the vacuum style ones if you're more a catch and release type

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Fortunately, the vast majority of what I drink is water, which apparently doesn't appeal to spiders. I do look in my cups as I sip from them now, but arachnid presence does not appear to be a prevailing threat for most of what I consume.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

I'll never forget the time a yellow jacket had gotten inside my Coke can. I found out the hard way.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Bro got caught eating ants like an Orangutan and had to make something up.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Yo, just keep it down. I'll share my ants, as long as you don't reveal my secret.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago (3 children)

i have a pinhead sized spider in my restroom. hangs out at the base of my shower. i let it be long as it doesnt move into the shower. knocks off the random gnat that blinks into existence sometimes

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

Yeah, I mostly leave Harvestmen alone if they stay out of the way. I kill brown recluses though, because I've heard their bites can do some damage.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I have a house centipede myself. Speedy little fella

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

never seen anything that "exotic" out here so far. just sticks:

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (3 children)

If you've ever used an outhouse in the early winter, this understates the reality by a factor of 10. Also, this guy doesn't wipe?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Born to shit

Forced to wipe

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Sigma grindset, wiping decreases time for gainz

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

For using a park toilet, I was instructed to always raise then slam the seat down for reasons

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

This is an old old fear for me thanks to my dad. Told me the tale that spiders love to home in warm dark moist areas and our mouths are perfect spots to settle overnight if we leave them agape while sleeping. I'm still arachnophobic to the point seeing close up photos of them makes me visibly sweat.

This comic def reminds me of childhood nightmares.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I love how this implies that spiders have something to gain from invading your pants

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

i know i sure do 😍

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I suspect collusion with certain gnomes with a definite profit motive

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

NSFT

(Not Safe For Toilet)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

Are we allowed to sue? I would like to sue.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Spiderpants. Spiderpants. Does a little spiderpants dance.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Wow that's a new one... I knew the eating spiders was a myth I just didn't realize they preferred the other end.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Quick babe look! New phobia just dropped!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

I feel like the last panel will be followed by a tom and jerry like scream

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I feel a lot of affection for spiders.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

They're way less scary than humans, and you like those, right?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Bro I literally just got done watching the Conjuring series and THIS is what made me shiver. Not cool man, not cool.