Parenting Was Meant To Take a Village (open.substack.com)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Anti-natalism is a toxic, doomer philosophy. And I wish this post went into more detail on how we can rebuild communal child-care networks.

I’m currently trying to procreate but due to fertility issues I find myself behind the rest of my friends who have all disappeared into atomized, suburban lives. So I’ve been thinking a lot about how to avoid this fate. If anyone has insights please share.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

There's always the "cool aunt/uncle/friend with no children who's always available to babysit" option. Communal child rearing generally starts with extended family - those without minor children pitch in to help the adults with minor children - and you don't need kids of your own to help out that way.

But you do kind of need a trusting relationship with those adults first, so they'll be willing to trust you with their kids, and it's hard to build those relationships from scratch, or rebuild them with family members if you've lost that trust already.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

This is the issue I have with the article—it recognizes the problem but it doesn’t go far enough.

Having an uncle babysit once a month is barely different from the failed nuclear family model. I’m trying to find or build child-care that is truly communal.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

I think it's quite literally supposed the be the village. We lived in smaller groups for most of history and would have known all of our neighbours. They'd be our friends and family. You don't need to get babysitters because the kids just run around outside all day and whatever adult is around and free would supervise them.

We kind of have this going on where I live. I'm on a dead-end street and the kids all play outside together and there's usually at least one adult outside keeping an eye on them. I'm way too shy unfortunately but the other parents have made friends with each other and they take turns taking their kids out for activities and having sleepovers.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

You might look up cohousing.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

I hate to recommend it, but facebook has some groups for finding commune-minded people. "Intentional community" would be a good search term

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

I have mixed feelings about this because it often ends up meaning that people feel entitled to free female labor. What do I get out of this village, huh? Do I at least get a casserole?

So many deadbeat dudes who finally got served divorce papers just turn around and snag another woman to dump all the domestic labor onto.

[-] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago

Atomization of families also occurs under communism.

Part of the reason for atomization is because the economic necessity for extended families keeping together isn't there.

[-] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Yes, this is a good observation, but the question is what is really the cause of this? Clearly it isn't economics alone. I would guess it is mostly due to specific family dynamics and this wouldn't necessarily extend to non-biological extended "families" of your choosing.

[-] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Says who?

"Supposed to be" presumes some authoritative source.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

In this case, the "who" is human biology. Humans evolved in tribes, not nuclear families.

[-] [email protected] -1 points 2 weeks ago

It is now for the most part, actual parents do nothing but deliver food and internet enabled devices, the rest of the world educates the kids and corrupts them

this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2024

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