this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2024
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I work at a 3rd-6th public school in MA. I wore this hat to celebrate Pride month and last week of school. I am known for my 25 days of holiday hats I wear around the winter holidays. I do mostly Santa hats but also make sure to include secular hats/Hanuikka hats. No one has a problem with it and the kids LOVE it because the hats get progressively more outrageous the closer it gets to break.

So yesterday I get in the door and My Lead says "Do you have to wear that hat?" I replied "What? Its a rainbow hat for pride month?" And shrugged. Then my most vocal and conservative coworker came in and told me that "my hat is inappropriate". I replied that d"iversity, tolerance, and inclusion is ALWAYS appropriate". She came back with " if it was just a rainbow hat but with the Pride sticker on there its not ok. You want tolerance and repect but you aren't respected the other side. You know I dont believe in that and in front of the kids, its bad enough in front of us knowing we don't believe in that." So I asked her if she wanted to bring it to HR. She said no and i offered to turn my hat around. Then My called HR who told her that my hat is fine. Lol.

The kicker is the coworker was wearing a Black Flag hat!

edit Black American Flag hat worn by conservatives in the US

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[–] [email protected] 92 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You know I dont believe in that

Yeah, that's why the hat is necessary.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 months ago (1 children)

And if they tried to use the same logic with the Santa hat it would sound crazy.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

Seriously. OP should strike up conversation next Christmas time while wearing the Santa hat. Causally ask them if they believe in Santa. Then when they inevitably say they do not, ask why the hat doesn't offend them just as much as that rainbow pride hat did.

[–] [email protected] 81 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Exactly what doesn’t she believe in?

That gay people don’t exist?

Honey, have I got news for her.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 4 months ago

I suspect she believes they shouldn't be allowed to exist. 😮‍💨

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

"Next thing y'all be learnin' kids that Santa be gay, too!!"

-- ~~Jesus~~MAGA

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

"Don we now our gay apparel, fa la la, fa la la, la la la!"

[–] [email protected] 55 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Your coworker doesn't know the first fuckin thing about Black Flag, apparently. I really hope she doesn't ever find out about Rollins' op-eds from LA Weekly or she might have a heart attack.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 months ago

Can't handle it? You move. Trust me, Canada won't take you.

I got a good chuckle out of that particular line.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I had to reread that part of the post a couple times. Try to think of some other Black Flag it could mean. OP please read this if you don't know what Henry Rollins and Black Flag stand for and educate your coworker!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Different Black Flag. The American one conservatives like to wear.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Ah ok since you capitalized it we thought you meant the band. Too bad.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 4 months ago (3 children)

You want tolerance and repect but you aren't respected the other side

By "other side" I'm assuming she means heterosexuals? If so, I'll tell you as a member of that side that I think the hat is fabulous.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago

The other side is bigots. Literally the intolerant asking for tolerance of their intolerance. Blows my mind.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

It's sort of ironic, isn't it? Tolerance and respect work both ways. Like we all have to tolerate these homophobes. So she is arguing against her own argument by making the argument.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

No, she doesn't mean heterosexuals. Because most heterosexuals don't have a problem with LGBT+.

She means bigots. She means that she expects tolerance and respect for the bigotry, so that she can continue to tell people being LGBT+ is a sin and bad for children or whatever.

It's an argument in bad faith.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 4 months ago (1 children)

PLEASE leave a copy of the U.S. flag code laying around somewhere. An all-black American flag ISN'T an American flag, and showing them how they're breaking the rules of the flag they pretend to care about breaks their brain.

The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding or drapery. The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever. The flag should never have placed upon it, nor on any part of it, nor attached to it any mark, insignia, letter, word, figure, design, picture, or drawing of any nature.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Dude black flag is a punk band

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

I was 50/50 on if it was the band or not. It didn't seem to make sense for a callout for a band hat, so I assumed it was a black American flag. Could be wrong, though.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

How likely is it that a Conservative Christian type is into Black Flag?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

About as likely as a highly conservative states person saying that their favorite band was Rage against the Machine

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

You want the family man or the swinging man?

[–] [email protected] 35 points 4 months ago

Offering to go with her to HR about it was the right move. Let her dig her own grave right in front of them. With any luck, she'll get fired.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 4 months ago

That is the most obnoxious hat I've ever laid eyes on. Well done.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 4 months ago (2 children)

The "other side" is the very definition of a lack of tolerance and respect so get bent, coworker!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah like what exactly would a hat representing this other side look like?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

Kinda white and pointy I'd imagine.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

They're like thinking (OMG. Someone is different from me... someone doesn't believe the same as I do ... I can't ever feel secure with that ... got to ... got to fix that ... )

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago

At least she has good music taste, I guess...surprising though considering her background.

Oh, you meant a different Black Flag, didn't you...?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago

Oof it would have gone down very differently in a public school in Texas/Florida. Be grateful you’re in MA.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago

"the other side", I hear that and my eyes begin to roll into the back of my head.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (2 children)

The kicker is the coworker was wearing a Black Flag hat!

The band? The one that had Henry Rollins in it?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

No. The American flag but all black/gray. Its a right wing conservative american thing.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Ohhh yeah. That thing is a straight up "I approve of cops murdering POC for no reason at all and would like them to do more of it." symbol. Right up there with the punisher skull.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

And Mike Vallely? Mike would straight up knock a homophobe out under the right circumstances.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

That hat is made out of the same material as Marty McFly's baseball cap in Back to the Future II.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

When you asked if she wanted to bring it to HR, she probably thought you meant Henry Rollins and she knew that wouldn't go well.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

HR of Bad Brains

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

How many hats have you accumulated by now? Or do you sell them away once the holiday is over?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

I have about 30. They fall apart amd get lost so I dont have too many saved.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

the coworker was wearing a Black Flag hat!

I was imaging something like this, but then I looked it up and was disappointed.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Me: Well I don't believe in that points at black flag hat but you don't hear me being a whiny snowflake about it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

For centuries the treatment gays got was 'stay hidden or else'. No respect in that from me.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Totally not the black flag you're talking about but my mom after a pride once asked if there was a "heterosexual flag" and I hesitated before saying "There is. But you really won't like it." She pressed the issue saying she wanted to see so I brought up that black and white monstrosity and she got SO mad.

"How can they do this to us! That looks like prison stripes!" I had to tell her the LGBTQIA+ didn't make that flag, it was a bunch of heterosexuals who didn't like pride. She was ridiculously upset by that until I remembered the Ally flag was a thing and upon showing her she immediately cheered up saying something to the effect of "Those bigoted losers can keep their dumb ugly prison flag! What are they allergic to color? My flag has rainbows!"

I love my Mum.

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