I'm basically an orchestra with no conductor. The different sections are just doing whatever the hell they want. I need a conductor.
this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
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And they all stopped playing music at like 19 or 20 so like…they’re fine at their instruments, can read music, even have moments where they sound pretty good. But they ain’t winning a competition lol
Why does this comment hurt in my soul?
Because we mostly understand the issue but not well enough to fix it! Weeeeeeeeeee!
I wouldn't mind if societies also made some compromises for me too. Currently it feels like I'm making all the compromises to fit in but made to feel like it's never enough.
Feels like I'm trying to fix an awful relationship by doing all the hard work myself. I'm tired.
Definitely fair. I was more just continuing the bit above
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I'm seriously considering starting a financial management business for people with adhd like me who are in debt simply because they forget to pay the damn bill.
I wouldn't be managing anyone's finances, though, I'd hire people who aren't like me.
If you have enough money to afford a personal assistant, you probably don’t have these problems because you have a personal assistant.
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I feel like this tells a lot about the state of the society we have where most people can't be what they want to be if they want to also make a living
ADHD is not a personal problem, it's a socioeconomic problem.
I mean it's both. Not being able to do your chores is bad no matter the society.
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No. You don't get to deny the very real PERSONAL harm done by this condition. No amount of socioeconomic changes could ever stop the personal problems.
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I think it's a personal problem too, because the human condition itself demands certain tasks that we might struggle with, but I absolutely understand what you're saying.
Despite my positives with ADHD, like being able to flip between constant emergencies all day, and getting constant praise for my work, my last job was threatening to fire me because they noticed I was 1 minute (literally 60 seconds) late a few times.
Good riddance to 'em, they had no idea how much effort it took to get within that margin with traffic patterns that change literally every day. They were also okay with getting there ridiculously early and jusy idling their SUVs in the heat until they could go in. Clown world.
I find that's somewhat of a norm systematically. Society will think it's "fair" to hold everyone to a standard of constant ridiculous feats of executive function that have no tangible effect on outcomes, measured by raw numbers at face value, and use this "data" to determine your worth as a person.
Despite my positives with ADHD, like being able to flip between constant emergencies all day, and getting constant praise for my work, my last job was threatening to fire me because they noticed I was 1 minute (literally 60 seconds) late a few times.
yes, but this a very clear example of what exactly I'm saying, no? This is not a requirement of human nature or something. It's just an idiot boss.
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Like how else is it supposed to work currently? Who wants to deal with people's trash? Who wants to transport people around at 4 am in his bus AND have to deal with the shit attitude of people on top? Etc.
Some people like doing work like that, the thing is just that these jobs are treated like trash and underpaid
You know, that’s a great point. I’d totally do a “shit job” if it paid decent and be a ton happier. I’m trying to organize and lead and only doing it for the money, and I hate it.
Yup. There's an appeal to a simple job that you can just do and no larger stress beyond the physical. But if that job involves waste of assorted kind, then you gotta pay enough and treat people with dignity.
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We need to compensate people well for this sort of work. There are a lot of people doing this work right now who are not compensated fairly for this work.
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I wish I could figure out if I have it. I asked my doctor how to get diagnosed, he said I’d need to talk to a psychiatrist. I got a referral and tried to setup and appointment but they said I couldn’t be tested since I have no history of it. They instead want to put me on antidepressants but I’ve gone through enough of them to know that ain’t what my issue is.
Mental health care in this country is a fucking joke.
If you really think you need to be medicated, try different doctors until you find someone who specializes in ADHD. The rest have no clue what they're doing and regularly try to treat the symptoms of ADHD (such as depression about how much your life is coming apart due to ADHD) instead of the cause.
I honestly don’t want to be medicated, but I’d like a diagnosis to help me find strategies. I’m middle aged so have figured out how to live with the brain I have but it would be nice to not have to struggle against my nature so much.
I’m probably just lazy or easily distracted, or disorganized, etc. and am looking for excuses.
If you don't need medication, then a diagnosis doesn't has much more to offer honestly. The same stategies you can discover without a diagnosis as well. Look for ADHD meetups in your area perhaps, or ask around here or in [email protected]
Good advice, thanks. I am not ruling out medication, but I would hesitate to put one of my kids on it if they were diagnosed and so I am hesitant for the same reasons. The reason I’d like a diagnosis though is that I am pathologically unable to act without data. I’d feel like a complete imposter at an ADHD event unless I was sure I was one of the ranks.
Perish such thoughts. None of us cares to ensure your "adhd purity". If you feel you find value from adhd coping mechanisms, then you are welcome to the knowledge
thanks, I do appreciate it. it's a me problem though that I'm working on.
part of it is I suffered a brain injury last year and I'm still unsure if my faculties are fully intact.
Believe it or not most people with adhd are pretty accepting of other people. I've never seen anybody with adhd try to gatekeep.
I hope you find what you're looking for :)
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Have you tried contacting a Behavioral Health Clinic? They mainly treat addicts or chronic mental illness, but they're qualified and a distinctly separate profession from psychotherapists.
Guessing you're writing about the US? Unless you're a user on a clearly country-specific server, a large chunk of users do not know what this country is.
Yes, the US. You are right and I should have been more specific. My apologies.
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That’s what they’ve done with my daughter. It’s clearly adhd, but they want to start with antidepressants (Prozac).
I just wish they’d treat the poor kid so she can start feeling like a normal person. She struggles so much. It doesn’t matter what she does, she’s doing something else immediately. She can’t focus on anything.
Just like the meme says though, she a good musician and artist. Anything else though and she’s just stuck. I hate it. I should have dealt with it sooner.
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Hey dude. That whole experience with the psychiatrist sounds wrong. Of course you have history. And that in no way qualifies or disqualifies you from getting a diagnosis. In saying that, I agree with db0 in that a diagnosis won't necessarily help. You can absolutely look up strategies and routines, tips ect on how to improve your experiences and try applying the ones you like and see how it goes. Psychiatrists might diagnose you and then want to put you on medication because that is their job and how they get paid. The cognitive behavior change work is usually done with a psychologist, in groups and in your own time. There's some great worksheets available online if you look around.
well, I've got other stuff going on, depression and a brain injury last year that I'm still working through. on top of that, as a kid in the 80's I was tested for ADD but at the time they were more looking at the inattentive behaviours. however, I'm pretty sure I'm the other side of that coin and ADHD didn't become a thing (at least mainstream) 'til several years later.
anyway thanks, I really appreciate the advice.
But only "pretty good"! Which sounds neat but that is just one step above "foundational" and good luck getting to mastery after skipping that, and finding the whole proposition a bunch of bullshit and really pretty good is enough, let's do the next thing and the next until we lose a few more forgotten "pretty goods" for lack of practice!
Why you gotta attack me like that?
;-)
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Joke's on me I guess; I'm also dogshit at things I want to do!
Try “we enjoy things we dont suck at”
Regardless of how few things i believe this is true for most people.
Oh well, at least I can rotate between behavioral addictions for constant distraction
I feel personally attacked.
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