this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] [email protected] 138 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Now make him freak out again by telling him peanuts aren't nuts.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 7 months ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

Well, you can eat them whole too. ;)

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago

That’s nuts…… I will see myself out now.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Does he know about cashews?

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[–] [email protected] 122 points 7 months ago (11 children)

Okay, this may paint me in a bad light, but I was fucking 40 before I learned peanuts grew underground. I ain't Joe Rogan stupid, but dang.

Nobody around here grew them (that I know of), and I never went anywhere that grew them where I would see them.

I assumed they were like any legume, growing above ground like peas or green beans.

But noooooo, they're ground nuts. Which I thought was a different plant entirely.

Out of all my damn family on both sides, visiting (and working on) various farms, nobody grew the damn things.

So, yeah.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 7 months ago

I'm all for introducing the saying "I'm not Joe Rogan stupid, but..." into the wider world.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 7 months ago (2 children)

In plenty of languages peanuts are also called 'ground nuts' or 'earth nuts'

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

Ouch, I had to think about what it's in my motherlanguage and it's actually earth nuts (Erdnüsse in German).

If you had asked me how they grow it would have been a 50/50 if I got it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 7 months ago (13 children)
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[–] [email protected] 30 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Yea, hate him or not, he immediately researched his incorrectness. This is not something we should make fun of. Education is how we solve ignorance, even if the topic is nuts.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Nah I've watched him ask for a claim to be checked, his checker came back saying that it was a true claim when it was total bullshit.

Dude gets zero credit for half assed - at best - fact checking. Peanuts are not dire, but the dumbass wants to get into life or death real world shit without doing the work. Fuck Rogan.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Seeing how cashews grow is the one that fucked me up.

Explains why they cost so much.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

What in tarnation

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Joe Rogan's not stupid, he just had chronic traumatic encephalopathy from some injuries in his early twenties. Also he is an asshole.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago (6 children)

Well, being as generous as possible, he says things a stupid person would say, with a high frequency. If that's due to tbi, I feel sorry for him, but he's still saying a lot of stupid stuff.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago

If someone says stupid stuff all the time, they are stupid. Doesn't matter if they have an excuse. Especially if the excuse is that they did something stupid that made them stupider.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I live in SW Ontario which used to be prime tobacco territory as in teenagers used to work tobacco fields in the 90's when I was in HS. Both peanuts and tobacco love a loose sandy soil.

Point being, no one is expected to know how something grows unless they have some knowledge that makes them intimate or they're a fucking nerd. Lol

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

I just found out via this green text.

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[–] [email protected] 121 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 7 months ago

Thank god, the exact thing I hoped to find. You rock!

[–] [email protected] 41 points 7 months ago (7 children)

To be fair to the dude, I didn't know this either until a teacher taught by teaching us about peanuts. How many of us know much about most of the things we eat?

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 7 months ago

How did we do an entire module on George Washington Carver in first grade, and they never told me peanuts grow in the ground like potatoes

[–] [email protected] 24 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Natürlich! Wo sollen Erdnüsse sonst herkommen, wenn nicht aus der Erde?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

Natürlich! Wo sollen Erdnüsse sonst herkommen, wenn nicht aus der Erde?

Sie wachsen in der Scheiße.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Grondboontjies groei in die grond?!

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Think Rogan would fuck a chimpanzee?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (3 children)

Well, a key question is 'Do you think a chimpanzee would let Joe Rogan fuck them?'

Because if not, it's not consensual, and that opens up some serious questions.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Good luck trying to fuck a chimpanzee without consent. Those are strong as hell.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

I think he kinda does every time he jerks the ween, no?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Would or has?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago (1 children)

TIL peanuts don't grow from a tree lol

[–] [email protected] 28 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

Peanuts, like coconuts, are not nuts. A person with nut allergy is not necessarily allergic to peanuts (and vice versa). They are 2 separate allergies.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago (5 children)

Coconut is a stone fruit apparently and peanuts are legumes.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (3 children)

And here my dumb ass was thinking legume was a fancy word for nut

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This is fucking spot on. The heavy breathing part had me wheezing

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I grew fennel last year. Have been eating fennel for years and thought we were eating the root part (the white part) and that the green part was the above ground part. No. There is a root underground but the whole fennel sits on top of the soil looking like it will tip over any minute. The white and green parts.

I know food, have worked at groceries, in restaurants, health food stores, I cook. But gardening has taught me new things, and I'm over 50.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Joe Rogan should have stayed this way.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

I mean he's still a moron. Now he's just better paid.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago

That's my opinion too, tbh.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Whereas rogan is a giant chimpanzee

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

OMG...why i can hear this picture clearly
What the hell is wrong with me...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Koala brain(don't mind me, I'm just a business, doing busines)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Ever give peanuts to a squirrel? They'll bury them in the ground

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