Texan flu, we got to do something about it folks 
this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2024
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Lyin Ted Flu-z
Ted Flu is a loser, even his wife thinks it. A lot of people are thinking it.
Barbeflu 
COMMUNIST JOE BRANDON is going to make us all wear masks again and wash our hands
So long as he doesn’t send the ass inspectors to make me wipe, that would be bridge too far….assuming the hypothetical isn’t in Baltimore at least.
So long as he doesn’t send the ass inspectors to make me wipe, that would be bridge too far….assuming the hypothetical isn’t in Baltimore at least.
There's a "harbour entrance" joke in there somewhere.
Bud, that’s an awesome seed of a joke. I’ll tag you if I figure it out.
I am honoured.
Lol, no he's not. 
Yeah I'm pretty confident at this point if there was a literal zombie virus that could be prevented by wearing masks the U.S. would rather just start fencing off territory that was completely overrun.
We could ask people to mask and shelter in place for a few weeks and give people food and medicine in the meantime, or we could just start nuking entire communities to try to contain it. Let's see here which options help me improve my earnings this quarter. Ah, nuking entire communities it is!
damn, if this blows up that’s two pandemics within five years both caused by the US
matter of time before there's US human-to-human transmission
the good news is quarantine will only be a few months this time
the bad news is this time you'll need to board up your windows and doors and sleep with a gun, and when you finally go outside half the country will be dead
Nah, there won't be a quarantine.
I mean there will be, we'll just be on our own for it
you'll definitely still be expected to go to work
“We are aware of the ongoing zombie apocalypse, all employees are still expected to work their assigned shifts”
"In response to the zombie apocalypse, the CDC has recommended practicing social distancing to prevent infection."
I think that's the same as there not being a quarantine lol
In other words 95% of USians will completely ignore it.
Everything is sicker in texas
"There's no pandemic, it's just an election year
"
-my entire extended family in a few months whilst choking to death, on bird COVID this time
If you don't like this and you ain't vegan then well
Americans being the plague rats of humanity as always
what were the cows and the birds getting up to 
The patient, who reported eye redness as the only symptom
So, how did they even find this guy? Are they preemptively testing people for the flu? Did the guy go in for pink eye and they just decided it was the flu instead because he was around cows presumed to be infected?
I'm not trying to deny the situation, it's just that there seems to be some missing info, here.
I also found that strange but I looked it up and found CDC Brief Summary for Clinicians: Evaluating and Managing Patients Exposed to Birds Infected with Avian Influenza A Viruses of Public Health Concern:
CDC recommends that people with these exposures monitor their health for any signs and symptoms for 10 days after their exposure and to call their health department if they develop illness. Health departments may ask responders to seek care and/or testing for avian influenza A virus infection, including specific testing for avian influenza A viruses. [...] If conjunctivitis [eye redness] is present, conjunctival [eye] swabs should be collected.
I'm gonna say this person is a worker at a facility where there is an outbreak. Some kind of ag public health nerd conveyed to the workers that any of a broad range of symptoms (see link) is cause for concern in this context. And this person either out of obedience or fear of disease or hoping to get some paid time off did as they were told, went to the ER or a walk in or whatever where a swab was done.
Basically, at least a few people did their jobs by the book. (Forgetting about the broader situation of the business.) It makes sense to have a lower threshold to to test in a very small number of the highest risk people.
This makes sense.
Good to know those workers probably arent being left to completely fend for themselves, theres a protocol, and its being followed.
It was just a weird way to report a situation like this.
Thanks!
Okay... So, the person was working with dairy cows. A person working around dairy cows spends WAY more time in close contact with them that a person working around beef cattle.
There's ALL sorts of shared infections that cows can get and spread to people and people can get and spread to cows. So things like, just general staph infections and pink eye are not uncommon.
Best guess, is that a person working around the dairy cows thought they might have got pink eye or a staph infection in or around their eye and were smart enough to go get it checked out. The docs were smart enough (or maybe there's a mandatory testing/reporting like there is for stuff like Rocky Mountain Spotted Tick Fever) to check for a range of diseases that can/do jump species.
The article is unclear if the patient was found to have live virus or if there was just some immune system check that showed a past exposure to the bird flu.
Thats not good wtf
cues up “dont fear the reaper”
Can we somehow make reactionaries think eating infected steak tartare will own the libs?
"Communist Joe Brandon prefers medium well beef, we can fight back against DEI by eating raw mince with a raw egg mixed in."
China is responsible. Somehow.
Health officials have said the infection doesn't affect its current health risk assessment for the public, which is considered low.
