this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2024
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[–] [email protected] 46 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (3 children)

Alcoholics have entered a kind of renaissance where all your favorite junk food brands are offered with liquor inside and the heat's been talking off drunks with the state's power looking at opioid addicts instead.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Dissolving crushed up estradiol tablets in my hard Mountain Dew Baja Blast because alcohol makes your body absorb estrogens faster

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago

And they say capitalism doesn’t innovate 😏

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Somebody is going to make a hard protein shake and the gym bros are going to never recover from the impact it’ll have on their subculture

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

That arm logo do be looking nice tho

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Mike Mentzer already trained while on heavy doses of amphetamines in the late 70s, and the original Jack3d formula from over a decade ago contained DMAA (dimethylamylamine). So hard pre workouts have been a thing in the subculture for quite a while. It's just usually that amphetamines or amphetamine like substances are used instead of alcohol.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

I vaguely remember hearing about one of the first doping fatalities in Tour de France where a contestant dropped dead on his bike from ingesting a cognac-based concoction of every stimulant known to man.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Dissolving nodoze or other truck stop uppers into your stoli and oj, we call it poorloko

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

actual innovation

o7

[–] [email protected] 29 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

C'mon, they should at least commit to the bit and make it 6.66% ABV. Or is the idea that you drink 3 of them scared

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Isn’t this just four loko

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

6.5 instead of 12-13 %. Probably less caffeine too, idk how much is/was in either but these are legal and the original four loko isn’t anymore so something changed.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

Tragic, they decided to be Icarus except a 737 max version that automatically descends when too close to the sun.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Four loko (the extra fuck you up recipe) had some other drug besides caffeine in it back in the day. Forget which one. This is merely a simulacra

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

guarana probably.

That's what BAWLZ soda had in it and that shit was like speed in a can

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Isn't guarana just a plant that contains caffeine and caffeine metabolites like theobromine (which are also ingredients in energy drinks, as well AFAIK stuff that just naturally occurs in coffee and tea too). So realistically that should be getting counted in the caffeine listing for total mgs, if that's determined with actual lab analysis and not just a rough guess based on how much caffeine powder is added. Something having "guarana extract" in it is meaningfully the same as it having "coffee bean extract" or "tea leaf extract," it just sounds exotic because guarana isn't traditionally brewed into drinks in north america or europe (but it is in south america).

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (1 children)

4 loko crawled so we could fly

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Red Bull missed an opportunity there.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

That's why the vodka and redbull exists.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago

Nothing quite beats the vodka and redbull. A perfect combination even better with a slice of lime.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Just looking at those makes my stomach hurt

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Giving me palpitations too

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I already did it. If you've ever used Monster as a mixer for vodka or soju, it's exactly that flavor. There's no caffeine nor any of their "energy blend," so we're not going to see a repeat of Four Loko chaos. I was going to say that I overpaid for a decaf Monster cocktail, but it looks like they discontinued the caffeine-free version so this might be the only way to get such a thing.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Wait is decaf lmao. Isn't the caffeine the whole point of drinking monster?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago

That's what I always get annoyed by when brands known for caffeine get into alcohol. Is it bad to mix a high or kind of high level of caffeine with alcohol given the Four Loko stuff? For sure. But shit is basically false advertising for these things. I don't drink energy drinks for the taste, and there are much better things to mix if that is the point of this drink. It isn't even a very high percent in the first place. So calling it "The Beast" is also lame af. I am guessing it is perfect for the teens that already drink a lot of regular Monsters to jump to and looks enough like the non-alcohol versions to be easy to sneak.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Yeah, but a caffeine-alcohol combo is the sort of thing the CIA would market to destabilize other countries, so the US banned prepackaged drinks with both in 2010.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

Incredibly rare US W

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

Yeah, back in the day we would buy a BFC of Monster, drink like a quarter of it, and fill it up with vodka. I had the worst hangover of my teenage years when I drank this instead of water on a five mile trek to a concert in like July.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Does anyone else remember terminally online evangelicals sharing a diagram claiming that the Monster logo is a coded satanic message using Hebrew symbols?

Almost makes me miss Facebook.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

I remember my uncle asking me about it like a decade ago

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Bottoms up and the Devil laughs

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

These are undrinkable because you want an energy drink and these arent energy drinks

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

This stuff actually doesn't have any "energy" stuff in it. It's basically just hard seltzer that is flavored like Monster. It's not too horrible but if I had the choice between this and any beer better than American light beer I'd go with the beer.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

if it's anything like hard mountain dew it'll be way better than expected

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Did 4 loko get banned for this same mixture type?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Dunno about these, but a lot of the hard versions don't have caffeine. It's just a flavor and branding thing

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Abandon 4Loko, return to Buckfast.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Who dae f*** do you think you are, lmao? Bri'sh?

anglo-burn

agony-soviet

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago