this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 47 points 8 months ago (3 children)

I need to cash in on the "X but as a conservative meme product"

Endless source of suckers you wouldn't feel bad taking money from. Just take some existing product, repackage it, slap together some corny branding material, and post on Facebook.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 8 months ago

It’s not that hard, just buy cheap shit from Alibaba and sell it for a 1000% markup

[–] [email protected] 25 points 8 months ago

Remember the Freedom phone guy?

[–] [email protected] 45 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Identifies as transparent

But it is transparent. Unless they're selling nasty cloudy translucent water lol

[–] [email protected] 30 points 8 months ago

apt metaphor since women “IDing” as women is what enrages chuds

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I bet it's that "raw water" grift from some years ago, rebranded.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

I was going to say going off their one joke that would imply it isn't. In all but one of the pictures it does ki da look like a white opaque liquid in there are they also trying to do the milk thing too?

This is what happens when they try to make a joke more complicated than literal labels.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 8 months ago (2 children)

It’s funny, it says so right there on the sign

[–] [email protected] 26 points 8 months ago (1 children)

No, it says it's America's funniest. They're not lying, because this is the funniest an anti-woke water brand will ever be.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

Funny enough, I ordered a case of this during COVID because it was the only sparkling water that was available. It tasted fine. And at least people knew I wasn't ghey.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

That doesn't count as anti-woke in the "ARE YOU TRIGGERED SNOWFLAKE!!!???" sense to me shrug-outta-hecks

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Imagine the outrage if we did stuff like that.

Oh wait, we did when we started calling them gammons and we got hypocritical shit like this saying that we we're the problem unlike the fascists who have CLEARLY done nothing wrong. .

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

Thank you this is hilarious.

No one is sure who said it first – they are hardly fighting over it. Dickens used it, but he died before Twitter, and I am happy for him.

And I can’t really think of a better modern example of dehumanisation than comparing your fellow voter to a pig because you don’t like his politics. For saying this, I will be called a Tory and worse. I’m not. I’m Labour. Compute that, comrades.

Her husband is a Tory. Amazing, no notes.

https://archive.is/yGMVh

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

"You might have thought I was a useless neoliberal dumbfuck but actually I'm labor, checkmate commies"

Not the own they think it is

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

It reeks of class snobbery too; no wonder it is popular with the socialist bourgeoisie who, like Citizen Kane, talk about the people as if they own them.

porky-scared-flipped: "Mocking bigots back is wrong because bigotry is for poor people. Why do you hate the working class, capitalist snob?"

Do these types even hear themselves? Or is this some weird smart-alecky trolling thing they're doing to fuck with me?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

The article she cowrote with her husband is extremely funny. Politics is mostly an aesthetic for her.

I have always loved to talk to Tories because leftists — including myself — scream so much. Andrew says it is a sexual fetish that exposes me as a Tory in denial. I suppose that is possible, but I think it is more likely that I need conflict to feel calm; and, if I cannot shout at people in print, shouting at them — at him — is as good. We almost came to blows over homelessness last month. This aside, I find his conservatism exotic. I love the other detritus of his Toryism; it has a theme-park quality to it. Before I married I had never eaten a home-baked cake, read a parish magazine or shared a pillow with a dog.

We were a red/blue house until Jeremy Corbyn appeared, then we became a yellow/blue house. I am distraught about Labour’s fall into Jew-hatred, but I do not hate Corbyn quite enough to vote Tory. I will not give him the power to make me maim myself. I think about it, and I fantasise about it, but I know I will not be able to do it on the day.

Instead I campaign for the Liberal Democrats, a party I broadly agree with — although I think we should leave the EU, since we voted to, which makes me a pretty weird Liberal Democrat — and hope that it pushes politics somewhere in the direction I would like it to go.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

Literally broadcasting the fact that she wishes she could be true to her self and be a chud.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I have always loved to talk to Tories because leftists — including myself — scream so much

and your precious nazis AREN'T like this? Now that these types have JK Rowling, do they not realize that they're all the fucking Dursleys? Do they REALLY think they can hurl insults at people minding their own business, including mocking their political rivals with all sorts of mean pot shots, and not get an ounce of it in retaliation?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Remember when Cuomo said Fredo was the same as the n word.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

tbh that looks worse than AI art 😂

[–] [email protected] 35 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'll never understand why we are always forced to be polite to these types, but these dipshits are allowed to treat us like garbage.

You'd think Velma would have gotten them to think about 'huh, I don't like it when people make fun of me for being part of certain identity groups, is this how I come off?', but no. Irony was lost of them.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago

chuds don't engage with media, they absorb it at face value

[–] [email protected] 32 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Idenfities as transparent

Transphobia aside, this implies they are selling some really nasty shit lmao

[–] [email protected] 29 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

rage-cry I'm not melting down crying about wokenes in everything and trying to cancel brands for anything other than cis white men - YOU ARE!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

frothingfash: "I fucking hate you, you worthless [slur]! But by the way if I can get honest in this hypothetical strawman, I act this way just for the thrill of being bad. Being a douche makes me look cool!" <- If you react negatively to this, you are an easily offended snowflake.

doomjak: "Please, just be nice. It won't kill you to be polite." <- Please get offended to this, kindness isn't COOOOOOL!

Did Eric Cartman rewrite the rules of social etiquette or something?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

I think the effect of a generation thinking that Eric Cartman was the funny one explains some stuff actually.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Did Eric Cartman rewrite the rules of social etiquette or something?

For at least 2.5 generations of fragile american white men, yes.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

Even South Park's creators have gotten in on it, and ever since their crusade against SJWs, they've just been hellbent on trying to vindicate Eric Cartman.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 8 months ago

IF WOKE WAS A BEER socialism-beer! 🤣🤣🤣

[–] [email protected] 26 points 8 months ago (1 children)

When the revolution comes, first thing we do is shoot all the marketing executives

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

I remember when I was younger I used to think the Bill Hicks bit about marketing was a bit too far, but now that I'm older, I think he didn't go far enough.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 8 months ago

Why is white XXX Tentacion on the poster? Was that the first thing that popped up when they typed ´woke gen z’ into the AI photo generator?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

I've heard many people over the years complain that there aren't as many white people in ads anymore. Imagine being mad that advertising isn't racist enough, and not that you have to be subjected to it at all.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Imagine actually paying close enough attention to ads to know what the demos of the actors are.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Imagine being such a simp for corporate interests that you actually watch and pay attention to ads.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

Why yes I am a free thinker, thanks for noticing. Time for me to learn my talking points from angry tv man, later sheeple.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

Pretty sure drinking this turns you woke.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure the woke mind virus is transmitted through bodily fluids, so joke's on you.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Taking a big swig and realizing I've been gifted when it doesn't taste like saline

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Thanks for reminding me that the new Tom MacDonald video should have just come out.

Dude is running out of titles, it was less than two years ago that he had "The System" and now this new one is "The Machine". Don't bother, the actual song's boring as shit, too. Just slop that could be generated by an AI trained on Eminem and "I'm not a Republican, but" Discourse.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

Desperately using consumer choice to signal a political affiliation because I'm so market brained there's nothing in my head except a subspecies of soothsayer brain worms that channel the ghost of Hayek

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

If you’re drinking someone’s tears, you’re not on the side of God

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

For some reason the link led me to a Jan 6 themed pinball machine at CPAC

I would so play this, it looks awesome

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

NGL, Trump pinball machine goes harder than I would expect

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

woke tears water are woke themselves, instead of hiring a proud white christian for that ad they used ai (woke product of silicon valley liberals. china too??) to create it instead

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago
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