whatup

I keep having this experience in predominantly white environments, mostly work and school, where mentally unstable people fixate on me. It’s happened so many times: someone, usually a stranger or a person one or two degrees separated from me, becomes obsessed with learning about/keep track of me without ever actually talking to me, usually for not-good reasons (i.e. sabotage). Like, they desperately want a dramatic altercation where they can play victim but are also to chicken-shit to approach me.

The first time this happened, I was in elementary school. This girl a few grades lower than me who’d always stare at me really, really intensely told her mother that I wanted to kill them. The mom freaked out and reported me to the admin. Luckily, I didn’t get in trouble, but the experience of getting called to the front office was super bizarre in a traumatizing way. The girl was an obvious racist, but I also think she suffered from paranoid delusions and genuinely believed that there was a plot for her murder. Like, she could sense her own discomfort with me, but couldn’t understand the source (hate) because she was so disconnected from reality.

Another time, a man from my last job stalked me when I was punching out. It was super late and it was really obvious that he was following me he kept stopping whenever I did. I went into the bathroom to escape from him and he literally stood outside until another woman came in and I heard him turn to leave. I also caught him recording me with his phone (not in the bathroom) and frowning like he was catching me doing some super salacious, fireable act (I was smoking outside). Again, obviously super racist. But he also went on medical leave, allegedly because of a psychotic break.

I’m I the only one whose gone through this?

Not really. I admire the competence of China's government, and that includes its strict gun control. I think it would be much more unstable if it allowed every political crank and domestic abuser to buy an AK. At the same time, I admire capitalist countries in Europe for having similar policies and also think they would become more dysfunctional if they were gun-obsessed like the US.

I literally get (for lack of a better word) triggered when people talk about how hard it was to have to have to wear a mask or to not get a haircut or some selfish bullshit.

Same. I’ve found it helpful to remind myself that these people are unwitting victims of a very intense, incredibly well-funded and well-backed propaganda campaign whose murderous influence outweighs that of even the jingoism that followed 9-11. We entered a new, unexplored era of consent manufacturing for social murder during the pandemic.

A million odd, discarded puzzle pieces that don’t fit with anyone ´normal’ or even each other.

What if life is suffering?

insert pic of sicko Schopenhauer going ´hahaha, yes’ here

A lot of American trotskyites became right wing. I think a lot of them were always reactionary. They just hid their secret distaste for the working class behind pedantry and esotericism until the contradictions between their class alignment—a lot of them were rich kids—and their false values were too much to bear.

I get what you’re saying. At the same time, I’ve gotten so fed up with certain mayos that I almost completely disregard white leftists’ (often terrible) opinions about marginalized racial and ethnic groups. I’m never gonna scold some random aboriginal person for doing a Welcome to Country and any non-aboriginal who does needs to mind their fucking business instead of messing with native people.

I appreciate how they made the leftist the hot one ❤️

Why do security state ghouls love writing shitty political thrillers?

What happened to article heads pretending to care about futurist innovation? I vaguely remember some investment firm bragging about funding the creation of artificially grown organs. That was back during the venture capital, bullshit start up era though, so it was probably all lies, but still! What the fuck do these medical companies do all day besides get glowing write-ups in legacy papers?

She should be in favor of this. Literally the only argument against the stalls is that the owners don’t have the right permits, but conservatives fucking hate bureaucracy. What happened to the small business owner love?