I keep having this experience in predominantly white environments, mostly work and school, where mentally unstable people fixate on me. Itโs happened so many times: someone, usually a stranger or a person one or two degrees separated from me, becomes obsessed with learning about/keep track of me without ever actually talking to me, usually for not-good reasons (i.e. sabotage). Like, they desperately want a dramatic altercation where they can play victim but are also to chicken-shit to approach me.
The first time this happened, I was in elementary school. This girl a few grades lower than me whoโd always stare at me really, really intensely told her mother that I wanted to kill them. The mom freaked out and reported me to the admin. Luckily, I didnโt get in trouble, but the experience of getting called to the front office was super bizarre in a traumatizing way. The girl was an obvious racist, but I also think she suffered from paranoid delusions and genuinely believed that there was a plot for her murder. Like, she could sense her own discomfort with me, but couldnโt understand the source (hate) because she was so disconnected from reality.
Another time, a man from my last job stalked me when I was punching out. It was super late and it was really obvious that he was following me he kept stopping whenever I did. I went into the bathroom to escape from him and he literally stood outside until another woman came in and I heard him turn to leave. I also caught him recording me with his phone (not in the bathroom) and frowning like he was catching me doing some super salacious, fireable act (I was smoking outside). Again, obviously super racist. But he also went on medical leave, allegedly because of a psychotic break.
Iโm I the only one whose gone through this?
