askchapo

pokemon npc that just starts yappin a factoid off a snapple cap after making eye contact with a stranger before engaging in sanctioned cockfighting

Absolutely not any of these idiots watching weeb quidditch

The main antagonist that everyone secretly likes more than the main characters.

What? Villains aren't playable so it's technically an NPC

Guy who just says ". . ." and blocks your way until you fulfill some arbitrary plot threshold

i'd be the puff puff girl from dragon quest

i'll be taking no further questions at this time.

Since I'm in my thirties, and therefore expendable in a JRPG, I'd like to be the NPC who has an optional quest where main characters play matchmaker. Give me the safest happily ever after please.

I would say "guy who says 'welcome to [town name]'" but I already hate seeing cars with Florida and New Jersey plates normally

One of those people in dragon quest games that are just chilling in the bottom of a well

I'm that weird collector always asking for your stuff and giving nothing back, but if you give me one of all 297 unique item types I forge them all into the Ultimate Weapon for your jack-of-all-trades party member. Of course I don't help you keep track of what items you gave me, how did you know?

I am going to be a youngster who's super enthusiastic about an article of clothing. My hat, my sparkly dress, my shorts, you name it. Then after my dialogue I do a spin and little stars shoot around my character sprite.

Somsnosa hylics

Since many people have called Kor a JRPG (I don't know if it really gets to be a JRPG since it wasn't made in the RPG region of Japan) I think I'd like to be Dongbert. Just a smug jerk who constantly loses, but still finds a way to make the victor feel like they lost.

I'm not vain enough to unironically request a :dongbert: emoji but sometimes when I'm gettin' my troll on I do wish I could easily link his dumb face.

Glaring at a cliff face

"I could climb this cliff with a LADDER"

comtimies staring at cliff face

Snorlax.

Seriously, fuck this work shit I just want to nap.

I'd be tutorial guy only I'd reference controls for a different system. Press "P" to open the party window.

Press triangle to exit

That one generic henchman who's lowkey super relateable. After you beat me to get the key to the next floor I'd say "It's a living" before stepping exactly one square to the left. Any time you talk to me afterwards I say something about being on break or taking this up with the union.

some survivalist out in the woods huntin fishin and sleeping under the stars. maybe i sell some rare mushrooms i found.

i'm not like that at all irl but for another life? sounds sick.

edit: or maybe the shrimp guy from hawaii in persona 5(r)

cave hermit who gives you an infinite-use health potion, but it's a basic lv1 potion way later than those are useful anymore

Guy who runs some half-baked minigame that starts out kind of interesting but by the end you stop caring. Something like Pocket Circuit from Yakuza 0.

Final boss of the minigame that everyone hates. You need to beat me to get the ultimate weapon for the best physical damage dealer in your party (the guy who throws playing cards as his normal attack) and the whole quest takes like twenty hours.

Guy at the cssino who tells the protagonist which minigames are rigged in their favor

What I never understood about the NPC thing is that it's always assumed that NPCs are not like other main characters in the story. But it's just any character you can't play right? Even characters who have like hours and hours of screentime showcasing and developing a complex and nuanced personage.

Any NPC from the Castlevania 2 (the American release).

Just a horde of nonsense being screamed at you every time you so much as look in my direction.

im gonna be a tutorial NPC who makes you run his errands under the guise of teaching you something useful

Unremarkable throwaway line npc in an unimportant town area, who can live a quiet life

I'd be a Moogle that you deliever messages for and helps you save your game, kupo!