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"Standalone sequel" - what a horrible phrase.

Spoiler

Twisters (film)

Twisters is an upcoming American disaster film... It is a standalone sequel to the 1996 film Twister.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

"a standalone sequel"

what a horrible phrase.

"a standalone sequel"

Hollywood's new craze

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago

It means shit movies for the rest of your daaaaaays!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Twister 2: The Twisterning

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Twister's: The Grocers Comma

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

2 Fast 2 Twister

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I want a movie with sentient twisters. Twisters that have to consume to survive. Like the entity in Nope.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Pretty sure there's a courage the cowardly dog episode that is exactly this

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The bit where somebody writes a movie title on a board and then writes an s after it and then draws a line through it to make it a dollar sign except they actually keep getting greenlit.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

and storm chasing itself is pretty outdated at this point right? Like its still awesome (the original meaning) to see a tornado, but hopping into a van or whatever to get footage? Seems kinda quaint

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

A sequel to Twister...fucking Twister? Jesus, that's dire. I mean, I like Twister as much as the next person (Helen Hunt? Bill Paxton? Flying cows? What's not to love!), but I'm pretty sure that movie told us everything we need to know about the Twister universe.

Also goddamn, I didn't realize it grossed half a billion at the box office and beat out Mission: Impossible. Presumably the execs just have a list of movies sorted by box office returns and are greenlighting reboots and sequels in order, reason be damned

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

a list of movies sorted by box office returns and are greenlighting reboots and sequels in order, reason be damned

In nutshell it's hard to see that not being standard operating procedure. Hollywood has always been a business but it seems now it's only a business to those with power and influence.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (2 children)

It's true on a general level, but like...Twister? I get trying to milk beloved cultural icons for all they're worth, but Twister has no cultural cachet whatsoever. I doubt anyone who wasn't alive when it came out has even heard of it, and for the rest of us it's not the kind of movie you reminisce about. As crass as the Disney live action remakes are, the market is obvious. I can even understand Willy Wonka (although I do wonder who tf is actually watching those--aren't we on like the third reboot in 15 years or something??). But Twister? You're really gonna throw $200 million at Twister? Maybe these studio execs know something I don't, but I just can't imagine that many people are gonna get excited about CGI tornados with a cast of randoms.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I just can't imagine that many people are gonna get excited about CGI tornados with a cast of randoms.

I entirely agree. But I think the current and average Hollywood exec has no real passion for movies or pop culture. For comparison what makes movies like dramas financial successes requires actual interest in storytelling, acting, and directing. The execs have no interest in something that's much-loved. They want money. For example - the profit upside for stuff like dramas tends to be very low.

"CGI tornados" is the kind of thing that for them smells like money. CGI-based movies are often ideal for them because the tricky part and heart of the movies - storytelling - plays second fiddle to the spectacle, massive CGI overkill, and the cartoon physics. The execs think CGI + Big Stars = a potential huge hit.

That mindset can create very expensive movies and the risk is high that they don't even break even. But a big budget CGI-extravaganza might make 100s of millions of dollars. And - of course - a hit movie will have the usual possible tie-ins. Sequel(s)? Prequel(s)? Become a full-fledged franchise? Spinoffs like a TV series? Other marketing crap (a Twisters Burger?), etc.

And - of course - ~20 dramas don't get made because because a movie like Twisters sucks up all the money and resources.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

i've been thinking a disaster movie would be a really fun setdressing for a slasher. like there's a big tornado but also some very-unworried-about-the-twister killer is on the prowl

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

"Mike is dead!"

"What?!? Stop screwing around. The tornado is still at least 10 miles away."

"Somebody cut his throat!"

---

Remember us little people when you make it big in Hollywood. I think it's a great idea. Now all you need is the one sentence tagline/summary and a very catchy title. If it was a horror-comedy - and I hope it's not - you could call it Twiller or Tasher. But if it's just horror I have no title ideas.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

can't wait for the twister cinematic universe

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I hate all these lazy ass titles. It’s always just LITERAL SUBJECT or NAME OF PROTAGANIST

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I'm surprised nobody in Hollywood created a big-budget franchise to monitize the weather. The Rock is the lead in glasses and sort of mildly corporate clothing so he's the super smart scientist guy. Once in a while he still takes off his shirt and shows his bulges but that's easily explained by his catch phrase "I'm smart but I also like to work out."

And - for some reason - he needs to be close to the action as possible in Super Storm, Super Hurricane, Super Tornado, Super Firestorm, Super Typhoon (filmed in Asia), etc.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm surprised nobody in Hollywood created a big-budget franchise to monitize the weather.

The Rock

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Andreas_(film)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Earthquakes are weather?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Don't forget Dimly Lit Super Meadow

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Mankind dealing with natural disasters is a universal concept. Another film about tornadoes isn't a necessarily indicative of a decline in standards.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I think that making it a sequel to Twister does indicate an obsession with risk mitigation though which I think, overall, hurts film making. They're either wanting to tell a story but are burdening it with a vestigial IP purely to hedge their bets at the box office or they don't have a story to tell and the new film will be an exercise in reviving an IP for it's own sake with the actual creation of a film and the telling of a story being an obligation at best.

I simply don't believe anyone is really passionate about telling the continuing story of the characters or world presented in Twister.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

It's more the fact they didn't make "another film about tornadoes" they just rehashed an existing one.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

One of the worst things about being on the older edge of “Millennial” is that at this moment in time, it feels like nearly all media and advertising is geared towards people precisely around my age bracket (since we’re probably at the relative zenith of income and spending that income). The original sucked and I haven’t even thought about it in 25+ years but it’s such an obvious attempt to cash in on people my age’s feelings of nostalgia, which are largely fueled by precarity that everyone would rather think about how cool things were when they were 16 instead of deal with current reality.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

They mined my age bracket's nostalgia too with Star Wars, Star Trek, Hawaii Five-O, SWAT, Total Recall, etc. The list goes on and on. Eventually I decided to ignore it all. When I learned a reboot of Road House was coming out for about 30 seconds I was interested. But then I realized it will be the same all other the other uncreative, branded, formulaic, by-the-numbers dreck created to make money. The only thing in common with the original will likely be the title.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Twisters.

This time, it's war.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Can't wait for the CGI Bill Paxton to show up and say "It's Twistin' Time"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

They could also have CGI Philip Seymour Hoffman.

---

I watched Near Dark recently. Paxton was great in that along with all the others. What a great group of vampires.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Oh shit I forgot Hoffman was in Twister, nice catch.

While on the subject of Bill Paxton my favorite piece of trivia about him is that he gets killed by an Alien (Aliens) a Predator (Predator 2) and a Terminator (The Terminator). The 80s Sci Fi trinity of antagonists.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

an Alien (Aliens) a Predator (Predator 2) and a Terminator (The Terminator)

Holy shit. I wonder if any other actor ~~has at least two out of three~~ died in all three too.

---

Edit

Lance Henrikson, Michael Biehne are basically two out of three. I somehow forgot.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Lance Henrickson maybe? He was in terminator and AvP but i forget how he dies in those

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Michael Biehne too.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I don't think so. Lance Henrikson and Michael Biehne get killed in Terminator 1 but technically survive (albeit in a fucked up state) in Aliens, so that's kinda close but all I can think of.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (7 children)

Lance Henrikson... Michael Biehne

Haha - I'm laughing at my own poor memory. Without googling it's a struggle. I could say more but it's actually sort of disturbing so I'll stop here.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Pitch Meeting Asshole Producer: So, gentlemen, I know you're all familar with the 1996 film, but if I can direct your attention to the board here.....what does it say?

| ============|
    Twister$ 
|=============|
[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Time is a flat... you know the thing.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Look I get it but I'm also definitely going to watch the new Road House

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Everybody likes certain slop. I'm going to avoid it because I assume it'll be poop. But if I'm wrong and it gets surprisingly high ratings and good reviews - I'll download a torrent when they exist.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

if I'm wrong and it gets surprisingly high ratings and good reviews - I'll download a torrent

Scientific Slopism

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

It's funny how I download free slop yet sometimes I get so annoyed I want a refund.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Cultural stagnation must be a sign that you're living in a very good society — your culture is literally so good that there's no need to change it.

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