this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 20 comments
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[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago

I once thought I had snuck a small one out at the supermarket. I realised it was evil and slid away. A family came up the stairs from the car park right into it. Amid wailing and bashing of teeth from the teenagers, I heard the dad say, “that’s a stink bomb, you can tell by the smell.”

One of the proudest moments of my life.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Worse try a body odor cloud, not fun

Edit: fix my crappy spelling, make sure my odor is in order

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I hope the body is in order

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (3 children)

You just breathe through your mouth for the next 30 seconds and everything's fine.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The nose is designed to catch stuff out it the air. I'm not gonna free base shit particles. Also I'm not gonna walk around the grocery store breathing through my mouth like an animal

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

But... we are animals.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Then you taste it instead.

[–] Lionel 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

It's a solution to a problem you have no control over.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

They really should call a fart code in aisle 3 and have someone clean that up fast. As Long as that sucker lingers there no one is buying anything in that aisle.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

You walked into your own fart, rookie mistake

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Walks to desk, farts.

Sits down.

Wtf.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Ah, yes. The colon section.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

It must be that spice aisle you're smelling. Hehe

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Jeff the Killer: Bikini Bottom Edition

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Try transit. Where farts last for two days.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Really? Not the cosmetic section?