Now train my mom. Or at least get her to stop being pissy because I didn't help her with a task I didn't know she was doing in the first place.
Jk that's literally impossible.
Apparently everyone's mom is in this comment lmao
It's the most infuriating quality of mothers everywhere, I guess. Like holy shit, I'll help you, but you can't just expect me to have a spidey sense for when you've decided to do some plumbing MY GOD MOTHER.
Ahem.
I know this is satire but if you want better men you have to teach boys a better rite of passage than becoming an alcoholic
I love that the picture shows the man using the ASL sign for Help. Nice touch.
When will they train People to actually help as opposed to simply advising platitudes?
Just man up
Walk it off.
Remember guys, it’s okay to not be miserable
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Kek
Or, just squeeze them hard enough to squirt the juice into life's eyes and say, "next time I want cold hard CASH DAMMIT!" Or just take some prozac with a slice of lemon.
Hydraulic press time?
That's good for if you happen to get into your atomic discombobulator when a fly is in there and you come out being half a man with a fly's head. I hate when that happens - back to the hyudraulic press again!!
You just gotta keep your eyes on the prize.
It's true that people need more than just nice-sounding phrases to help them. When you're down and out or feeling suicidal, saying "don't be that way, life is good" isn't going to help anybody. Sometime just being there to listen instead of giving advice is the most helpful thing.
Wait Can I apply for this??
If you can ask, you don’t need to.
What a time to be alive!
"The test subject, whom we have named Buster"
Lol
I wish this didn’t ring so true.
The Onion just reports facts these days
I'll believe that when I see it. If men were able to ask for help, we wouldn't have such high suicide rates.
First men need places to ask help of.
I know there is one man out there who has friends he talks to and also perhaps a therapist. Same as women. That guy? That semi-theoretical guy is hot. That guy knows how to communicate like you wouldn't believe.
I have friends I can talk to, a therapist, and medication.
I still have a lot of difficulty communicating what's rattling around my head, and I'm still not doing great.
Communication is the key to almost everything. Being able to have a social network you can depend on, that's a real treasure. And having a counselor to help you through mental problems is an absolute goldmine. I hope men can open their eyes to that reality without fear.
That's true, and there are more of them available today, including the national suicide hotline 988, an easy number to remember. What men need is to see that mental health is as or even more important than physical health, and that going to a "mental gym" is a cool manly thing to do (and it is). By mental gym I mean getting counseling or whatever help you need to become a better and more integrated person.
Not just that, but that goes for everyone.
Men need men only spaces. Women have women's shelters in every city in every western country.
For men, you're lucky if your country has a shelter. You're lucky if the law even recognizes you being abused as a crime.
Actually that's a good point, there SHOULD be men's only spaces. And I don't mean places where you sit around talking about antlers and scratching yourself (I do enough of that at home) but places where men can talk openly about things going on with them and their own struggles. And maybe help each other like they do in 12-step programs.
And it's not because being a man is somehow toxic, it's because many of the beliefs we have as men can make our lives toxic. It's about detoxifying ourselves and learning that life can be much richer and more enjoyable by being less worried about appearances and such.
“mental gym?” Goddamn dude we’re talking about men, not children. You don’t need to play word games with adults
Oh yeah. The men who commit suicide never asked for help 🙄
I'll wait to get my hopes up until we find out if anyone can replicate their results.
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing: