this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] [email protected] 192 points 11 months ago (1 children)

"Bruh, can you tuck me in?" πŸ˜‚

[–] [email protected] 59 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Aye bruh, can I get a goodnight kiss?

[–] [email protected] 134 points 11 months ago (6 children)

My daughter calls me Daddio.

It's pretty fucking awesome.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago

Sounds like she is one cool cat.

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[–] [email protected] 111 points 11 months ago (9 children)

My kids already call me bruh.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago
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[–] [email protected] 77 points 11 months ago (9 children)

I do not get the sexualisation of daddy. It just feels pedo and cringy to me. if I was having sex with someone and they called me daddy I'd probably immediately go soft

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago

I get soft even if it just pops up in a title when looking at porn. It's just deeply off-putting.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (5 children)

Just you wait until you meet people with mommy issues. THOSE you wanna avoid

Mostly because I'm my experience people with mommy issues tend to be male NEETs who are incapable of seeing any woman as just a friend. Usually incels too. I found them to be kind of abusive as people too and turn vindictive when you don't feed into their fantasies. As a woman, it's always the same old story when I encounter these men.

Meanwhile people with daddy issues usually have their shit together regardless of gender.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

My partner calls me daddy and she's older yhan me, so... what does that make me???

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 11 months ago (5 children)

You can do "Pa". It's objectively impossible to sexualize "Pa". You could try, but it'd immediately nuke the mood from orbit.

[–] [email protected] 71 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Note that Pa and papi are very much not the same.

You can totally sexualize "papi". It's hard not to, honestly. Pa, though? Well, check out the rest of these replies and tell me if they sound like flirty sexy times or like they're trying to warn me that we forgot to bring the sheep back in for the night.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

You sure about that pa? Ugh. I literally shuttered while typing this.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago

Pa~ πŸ₯°πŸ˜‰πŸ˜©πŸ’¦

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 11 months ago (2 children)

"bruh or some shit" is a pretty long name.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 11 months ago

Use the acronym: BOSS

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

They shortened it to just "shit."

[–] [email protected] 51 points 11 months ago

It might take a while to get all the syllables, and I fully expect them to get 'mama' first, but I'm gonna aim for 'destroyer of worlds'.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Y'all watch too much porn. Touch grass.

[–] [email protected] 89 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 44 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (5 children)

I shall fuck the dirt you walk on!

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 11 months ago

Tell Dad jokes and all you get it "bruh".

[–] [email protected] 39 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Aa shitposting, this is hilarious. Given some comments though... It's funny. People think this is a new thing. It's just more in your face due to ubiquitous network we live in today. It has always been thus. Or did you think kinks just started after the Internet?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Steam powered, dildo machines were a thing....

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I henceforth refer to you as some shit

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Ain't that Some Shit

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago (5 children)

This couple I used to know scolded their 13 year old daughter at the dinner table for calling them β€œbruh”. The dad was like, β€œI’m not your bro, I’m your dad.”

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Sometimes my mom says I'm a good girl when I help her out and it kinda icks me out <.<; I'm like "uuucchh you're my mom, not my dom! Stop calling me that!" but I don't wanna actually say that to her because that seems like it'll just make the matter even more awkward.

Anyway, hi, Lemmy Shitpost, how are you :D πŸ˜…πŸ€£

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (2 children)

you’re my mom, not my dom

This is such a great line but also super niche in situations where it’s appropriate. I think you gotta take the opportunity to drop it next time it appears… you have no choice

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago (10 children)

Thank goodness it's not sexualized in my language

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You will be the father, they will be the son, and mom will be the Holy ghost.

porn music starts

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Forgive me father for I have sinned

[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Sorry daddy I have been bad

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Im vewy sowwy daddy I've been naughty

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

My kids call me bruh and I'm their mom, so, eh.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

that guy needs to stop watching so much porn

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago

Yes, daddy. :(

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

Pastor boys in shambles

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