Solarpunk

Congrats on becoming a parent! I remember the Amazon thing. I'm German living abroad and sending stuff over Amazon was the standard for my family when my little one was little. I only stopped using them after it became clear how awful they are.

As for people sending stuff, I'd say the way to handle it depends. Not sure if there's some people barely internet literate who wouldn't really know how to navigate another site? And they just want to express their awe of a new earthling in the family? I would just let them proceed, say thank you, and if whatever arrives is all too horrible someone else might appreciate it as a gift. I've recently realized how internet literacy really is a thing with older folks and they find it very hard to learn to do new stuff online.

Those in your family who are more likely to understand, capable of using different sites, and those who you will have contact with often, probably more worth educating your preferences.

Yes for having a parent group. I'm now a confused parent of a grown up (?? no not really, just legally) child (so fast, he was a baby yesterday I swear).

Congratulations 🤗 . Tell them to send money instead if they wish to get something and buy what you need locally.

I wouldn't recommend buying your baby on Amazon

Personally I would just do a public list that they all can read to avoid buying unnecessary junk. Anyway, if they use Amazon you can do a proper wishlist and just share it with them. I know it would be nice to avoid amazon but, honestly, you are going to raise a child soon, better pick more important battles like his/her education!! Don't worry too much about the rest, just go for a comfy middle ground and then use your energy for the child :)

I've got no advice on the Amazon stuff, but I've got some other general points since I've got a newborn now:

Buy as little as possible. People are going to gift you stuff, and you don't need all the toys and doodads. There's some bare minimums, but otherwise only buy stuff as you figure out you need it or it will make your life more convenient.

Have a registry. I've told everyone that my preferred gift is cash or gift certificates to the diaper service, and everyone fucks it off. You might as well target people towards stuff you need/want.

Buy used. 90% the things I've purchased myself for my kid is used.

On the flip of that, gift or resale everything you have when it no longer fits.

Cloth diapering. This is a huge environmentla impact. In my city there is a service, so they exchange all the diapers and covers once a week and do all the cleaning for me. I just use them and chick them in a bin. I've still got some disposables for edge cases (or when I go through all my cloth ones for the week...), but since the diaper service is already environmentally conscious, they sell some and they've already done the mental load of researching best options. I can't speak to laundering them yourself.

Having gone through this, I have to say it's absolutely unavoidable to educate your parents and inlaws. Their consumerism will reach new heights with having a baby in the family. The best thing you can do is neglecting any gift that isn't just money categorically from the beginning (I know, it's probably not possible, but try your best). Also, be prepared to become a consumerist yourself. Kids, especially babies have so many needs and it can be really exhausting to say no when you haven't slept in days. Also, if you're not rich, sometimes you can choose from either just buying the cheap stuff or using your last bit of energy for doing it the old fashioned way.

But don't worry, you'll find your way eventually ;)

Join a local 'buy nothing' group. Kids outgrow stuff. When they're small, this happens FAST.

Do check to see if items you're getting used have been recalled. It happens more than you might think.

As a result, there's a constant stream of parents with slightly older kids giving away stuff that they no longer need.

If people must buy you something, ask for something you'd be buying anyways and which is difficult to get used in your area.

LittleList, reminds me of baby registry similar to Target.

Make list of approved companies/websites that delivery to your location?

Let them know Amazon is not a preferred method due to previous problems with quality, and the like.

And if potential item they are buying is not a part of list, to please send a quick text/call so as to find a common understanding? This can be a role of partner/friends, to help answer questions on registry.

Hello! I'm a dad. My opinion is to stick to your principles. Amazon products often escape any and all safety regulations and babies need those. They chew things, break things, throw things, put things inside things and generally behave as adorable little avatars of chaos. So yeah, take the time to know what you want for your child and share your wishes with your relatives. In my experience most people are just relieved not to have to do the research themselves. The gift will still be a surprise for baby after all.

Politely thank people for what they gave you and then quietly donate it. I have tried so many ways to get family to calm down with the gifts for my kids but it never works. People love buying baby crap and you will be buried in it. I'm no good at saying no, so I just accept and donate. Someone will be glad to get it.

You can do a baby registry this time and it does work mostly, but this is going to happen every year on your kid's birthday and Christmas (or any other gift-giving holidays you may celebrate) you can't always send a wish list for that. I do put a "no gifts please" on birthday invites but nobody listens to it.

Congratulations and good luck! It's hard but you'll manage. Just remember that none of us parents have any idea what we are doing and children are all adorable, sweet, evil little irrational creatures. I love it (usually).

Permanently Deleted

Convincing people to not give is actually really hard, I've tried doing this for Christmas for the last 3 years.

I quickly learned that entirely robbing someone of the joy of giving/helping in any way is actually pretty horrible. Giving really makes people feel like their life is well-lived.

BUT, you can change what they give and be really effective.

• Ask for advice. People love giving advice
• Ask for a list of newborn items they would recommend
• Then create some excuse (shipping, saving for big items, avoiding duplicate items, whatever) to recommend, if they must, send money instead of presents.

Be warned, you're probably still going to get a lot of amazon stuff. It's the lowest effort way to give, and that's really hard to beat.