this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2024
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Fucking Lancaster. Checks out.
Meth, Amish, and the Klan. Oxford is like the result of some demented game of cosmic Mad Libs.
"... So everything will smell like cat pee and horse manure, and the farmers wear strawhats and grow dogs, and the primary religion is racism."
To anyone wondering how you grow dogs: Amish puppy mills.
No different than where I live, although it immediately brings to mind, I never see any buggies or horse or mule in the store parking lots, so how did they get there?! I doubt they walked, that would be a few days’ walk.
Amish people can hire people to drive them around. Amish contractors sometimes have their own trucks, and use them to interact with the English.
Alternate theory: they figured out teleporters and keep horses mostly to trick the English into thinking they have nothing worth colonizing them for, but also to keep their buddies in the buggy industry in business and because they like horses. Mostly that last one but the other two reasons are still important.
The horses are the ones that open up the interdimensional portals. Obviously.
Thank you!
Lots true but you don't have to say it.