Relationship/Orientations

I saw more aplatonic hate today, and while I discussed it on my tumblr, I want to talk more about it.

The supposed invalidity comes from the same place of people who think 'sexuality' is a synonym for 'physical attraction' or use it interchangeably with 'orientation' in just a general sense. However, the proper definition has nothing to do with general orientation (or even genitalia, for that matter, sorry superstraights). It is quite literally just a specific desire for sex, with a target of attraction: "I would like to have sex with this."

With this it becomes pretty clear Online Exclus Queers have oversimplified attraction. Which, on another note, this sort of stuff is awfully detrimental to friendships as they are portrayed as 'lesser' relationships... There are so many forms of attraction, and while many of them are labeled with useless rigid rules placed on them... Some people will not experience them all.

There is no attraction that is more fulfilling in every circumstance. Some people will not experience or enjoy some kinds of bonds or relationships. These things do not take away from their value or their ability to enjoy life.

Now, for a personal note, friendship is draining for me. I am an extremely physical person. Physical affection with partners has been the refill of my battery, the strength of my bonds. And so often it's seen as shallow of me, and I'm tired of that. I cannot express how draining and unfulfilling the concepts of or attempts at friendship have been for me. Once I really do feel a bond, it's usually somewhere in the realm of domestic, sensual, and mental attraction. I desire to give my services and help to those I adore. With this, I'm romance favorable in my Aromantic orientation, since these behaviors are often very close, and I do like to be affectionate. I find time spent watching movies in the same room pointless and unfulfilling, I'd much rather build an entire giant cat bed for a partner and gift it to them than just SIT. My physical gifts and physical affection are my love more than my time or compliments. Friends are just another level of draining, worse than respectful socializing in general for me. Partners and chosen family are ALL I want. ( I love my wifey and my son Lucas. Shoutout to Lucas.)

With that, I don't understand how others are just, expected to have these attractions like most of society has normalized them to work and exist. "You have to want friends, You have to have familial bonds, If you don't want sex with your partner you're depriving them."

It's gross.

I'd like to shoutout my AroAce Hypersensual self, and give a biggggg middle finger to aplatonic haters.