Steam Deck

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The original was posted on /r/steamdeck by /u/Schloemmes on 2023-08-19 09:55:30+00:00.

Hi all,

Just got a steam deck and am trying to get some non steam games into my steam library to start them in gaming mode.

I followed one of the countless videos on YouTube and have installed heroic launcher and downloaded rocket league from the epic store. Afterwards I have added both (heroic launcher and rocket league) to steam and enabled to run it with proton in the compatibility tab.

In desktop mode rocket league can now be started from heroic launcher but the controlls dont really work.

So I assumed starting the game in game mode out of steam should work, however neither the heroic launcher nor rocket league do start now. Once they seem to boot up I get a screen with the steam logo but immediately afterwards the starting process stops and I am back to the respective window of rocket league or heroic launcher.

What am I doing wrong?

Thank you all in advance :)

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The original was posted on /r/steamdeck by /u/merc814 on 2023-08-19 09:53:06+00:00.

Is it a PC with a modified UI or a console with an open platform and desktop? Or is it a new, third thing?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/steamdeck by /u/fruitgamingspacstuff on 2023-08-19 09:34:27+00:00.

Original Title: Help please. I'm away and have no Internet. Planned to play Human Fall Flat but it won't launch. I've always played it connected to a TV. Now trying to play handheld and I get this error. I tried launching from desktop mode too.

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The original was posted on /r/steamdeck by /u/Scarlizz on 2023-08-19 09:31:58+00:00.

I have my refurbished deck since a few days now and noticed something odd.

I use the official dock with my Samsung 4K tv. And sometimes there are some ‚red lines‘ popping in. But only for a second and only randomly. So that’s I can not post a pic of it unfortunately. It’s also not the whole screen that get these red lines, only a certain part of the display. And also can not tell to what this is even related to. As far as I notice it, it only happens while playing on Tv. In handheld mode it seems to be not there (or I didn’t see it yet, hard to say)

Any idea if this is a defect with my Deck? Or Dock? Or the tv itself? The hdmi cable is brand new, I doubt it’s related to that but who knows.

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The original was posted on /r/steamdeck by /u/Cronchboi on 2023-08-19 09:23:03+00:00.

I got my steam deck a few weeks ago! I've been running things like Epic Games, Battlenet, WoW classic and other programs not native to steam pretty regularly, as my library is spread out. I've found a lot of guides here and elsewhere really helpful.

However I'm wondering if there's a site/resource similar to ProtonDB, that notes things like ideal controller/settings/proton version/profiles etc for non-native steam games/programs?

As an example, WoW classic guides show how to get bnet, how to install wow and sometimes the correct location/resolution. They also suggest an addon called Consoleport.

This leads to 3 different keybinding profiles (Steam deck, WoW, Consoleport), which gets messy quickly. It also needs a few interfacing options checked to work okay, and a lot of the usual tweaks to make it baseline useable. It gets buggy, and I don't even know if the addon is still needed these days.

I think most people could work it out over time. I'm cognitively disabled and can piece together parts from old posts here/elsewhere, but have a lot of trouble. I'm wondering if there's any other resources I'm missing for trying to run non-steam programs?

I understand if this doesn't exist yet haha. Thanks for your time :)

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Live_Active7449 on 2024-05-20 02:12:00.

My husband and I, along with 2 couples we're friends with (all early-mid 40s) decided to go on a backpack/hammock camping trip. All of us, except my husband are experienced campers. I was very surprised he wanted to go, but also happy he wanted to participate in an activity I enjoy.

Before the camping trip, we all met up multiple times, and discussed what to bring and agreed we needed to pack as lightly as possible. We would be carrying everything in backpacks and sleeping in hammocks. My husband also agreed with this.

The day of the trip my husband packed, 8 outfits, 5 pairs of shoes, 4 pairs of swim trunks, and 5 pairs of pajamas, along with an inflatable queen size mattress, matching sheet and comforter set, battery operated air pump, portable white noise machine, laptop, tablet, portable hotspot and charger. There was some other stuff but I don't recall what those were. Naturally, he packed more than anyone else.

When we arrived with our friends to our destination, it was a several mile hike to where we planned to set up at. My husband started trying to delegate to the others who should carry what of his stuff. I told him we all agreed that we'd each carry our own gear and that meant he's responsible for his. He argued back saying he had more than he could handle and needed help. I reminded him that he knew how much to pack, there would be lots of hiking, and he didn't bother to use a backpack but instead 2 full size roller suitcases. He told me I'm being petty and he's new to this so give him a break. He then tried getting our friends on his side by pointing out how it's his first time camping and he didn't know what to do. I interjected and said he'd been part of all our meetings to prepare and he'd heard everything that was said and chose to disregard it. I then encouraged our friends to stick to our agreement of everyone carries their own stuff and said it's not fair to me or anyone else in our group to put extra burden on ourselves by carrying my husband's stuff because he made the poor decision to grossly over pack. After a short debate everyone else ended up agreeing with me and my husband had to carry his own gear/stuff.

My husband ended up being far more worn out than the rest of us because of how much he had to carry. Now he's tired, cranky and sore, and still saying I was unreasonable to expect him to carry all of that on his own.

AITA for making my husband carry what he packed?

Eta: when my husband was packing, I reminded him what he needed to bring and told him he's way over packing to be practical. He insisted he needed everything he packed as well as insisted on using the roller suitcases as carrying a backpack is too embarrassing for him.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/ReasonableAd6078 on 2024-05-20 00:56:29.

Visits with my in laws are always grueling in some form or another. Generally a “lively discussion” about current events that is basically just regurgitating stuff they read on the news to each other, like theyre breaking some new ground.

Now, they are perfectly entitled to discuss whatever they want to, but it makes me extremely uncomfortably as the only person of color to hear them belabor the history of racism and colonization right in front of me when it’s something my ancestors and I have survived.

I feel like when certain points are made, my MIL is always trying to make eye contact with me to get some sort of validation or reaction from me. Tonight I couldnt handle it any longer and mentally disengaged for the majority of the conversation. At one point I excused myself to go to the restroom and breath, then excused myself to go to bed early after helping clean up.

Husband is confused about why I acted so cold considering that “nobody said anything racist to you” and “were all on your side”. I explained to him that I was starting to feel like Im in some bad version of Get Out, and it makes me feel claustrophobic to sit through a dinner about how people who look like me are invariably fucked in this country.

AITA for taking some space from the entire situation for my mental health? 😞

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/OddIssue91 on 2024-05-19 23:41:11.

I (31m) have been married to my wife (30f) for 5 years now. I love her so much, and I am so incredibly lucky to be married to her, but there is one thing that really bothers me.

She has always been a huge fan of a lot of rock bands, particularly emo bands. This by itself doesn't bother me at all, in fact I love the music too and we go to concerts together all the time. What bothers me is that she has posters of these bands tacked up everywhere around our house. Our bedroom walls are COVERED in them. And I mean covered. There is not a single inch of wall space in our bedroom that is not dedicated to her band posters. Everywhere I go, everything I do, therd are always eyes of a hundred emo men following me around. It sounds stupid, and it probably is to be honest, but I don't think I can stand another night's sleep feeling like I am being watched constantly. I don't want to be "watched" by the members of My Chemical Romance or Taking Back Sunday or 21 pilots as we make love.

I've tried asking her nicely to move some of them and she gets really offended and mad at me so I just left it behind. But it's getting hard to handle.

AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/DasHexxchen on 2024-05-19 21:45:56.

My brother and his wife have 3 children 8, 5 and 3.

I am his younger sister, childless myself and recently left uni because of my severe depression, living at my parents house until I find a different career path. (But I also provide care for grandma and mother.)

The older two children get ready for the day alone, which the parents are very proud of. Basically they just get dressed in unmatched clothes. They are not washed, dressed for the weather or have brushed hair. (If they do, they forget the back.)

I actually forgot how it became the topic at my father's birthday dinner. But they said their oldest doesn't like to brush his hair. I said then they should do it, because it needs to be done. His decision if he does it or his parents. She told me she didn't want to brush his hair, when she wants to get out of the house to work. (Mind you, she wears make up daily and my brother drives the children.) I stated how wrong I think this is and one should care for their kids after getting them.

She exploded. Told me she will not discuss this with a childless person without a degree. I told her quietly to watch what she sais. "No,you watch what you say."was the answer. Proceeds to tell me she always hated me and I am not to come to her youngest birthday party tomorrow. I said: "Didn't you observe I have not visited you in over a year now?" Then got told she wouldn't visit me either. I said: "I wouldn't invite you. I don't even know why you come here." It's not my decision,because this (parents place) is not my house.

I told her I am proud of her for finally showing her true colours, not communicating by putting my brother between us.

Today on the little one's birthday the oldest let slip "We are not allowed to visit grandparents anymore because of aunt xyz."

This is not the first time they are keeping the kids away from my parents. They regularly extorted my parents and her's. (Until they were desperate for a baby sitter.)

My brother sits through all this and comments "It's statistically proven that childless people comment more on other's parenting."

This was the second time I ever commented on a parenting issue of theirs. My field of study involved child sociology and developmental psychology. And I stand by keeping basic hygiene on a regular basis. We were not talking about arriving once with unkempt hair...

I feel so sad for my mom, who has been through this already and keeps her mouth shut for the sake of seeing her grand children...

So, am I the asshole for not having kept my mouth shut?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Pale_Signal_8062 on 2024-05-19 21:32:09.

I (M35) am married to (F34). I also have a friend (M36) who we'll call Mark, and he is soon-to-be-unmarried to his wife (F34).

The reason why Mark and his wife are divorcing is because (according to Mark) she has let herself go. He has said she has gained a lot of weight (I have noticed that, but like I didn't really care), she stopped going to the gym, starting smoking, cut off her hair due to not caring to take care of it anymore, etc. When I told my wife of this, she just made a face and said that it was "trashy" of him to leave his wife in what may be hard times in her life. I understand that, but like, my friend said that he had tried therapy for her, marriage counselling, and antidepressants (she was actually diagnosed depressed) but she didn't really seem to want to help herself.

Honestly, I can get behind that. But my wife's mood always shifts whenever I bring him up now, and doesn't like the fact that I'm helping him through the divorce (it's taking a toll on both of them equally imo).

Been a back and forth type thing for a while, and im coming to this sub to seek judgement on whether i am wrong or not here. AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/AccomplishedRoad624 on 2024-05-19 21:13:08.

I spent $3000 on a vacation at a resort that is about 3 hours away. I rented a place large enough to accommodate my mom (good health for 72) and younger brother who lives with her. My brother was looking forward to the trip several weeks ago, and like a light switch, their attitudes have shifted, and we are one week away from leaving.

I have three older teenagers and a husband who are also going. I called my mom yesterday afternoon, and the excuses started. She said, “ I haven’t found anyone to take care of my cat.” Do you think (my daughter) will be able to take some friends? Has she talked to her cousin about going?” I’m like, “No, why would she?” She had me on speaker, and my brother then said, “I’ll stay back because I need to work on my RV, and I can keep the cat.” My mom giggled and said, “He doesn’t really want to go.”

With a crushed heart (because clearly the message I got was that my family and I aren’t enough for them), I told her I need to go and would talk to her later. She then texted that she would still be going, and my brother would stay back to take care of his cat. I responded with, “Don’t feel pressured to go. I have spent a lot of time and money on this vacation and don’t appreciate it being treated like it’s an option at this point.” She then said, “You know I’m planning to go or I wouldn’t have reserved a golf cart.”

They called several times, and I ignored them. I am used to her rejection and always choosing others and things ahead of me. I don’t know why I would expect less from her. She visits the area where my daughter, her granddaughter, goes to college and never makes an effort to see her. She comes to visit me maybe once a year. I’m about 40 minutes away.

My husband thinks I should tell her to come or not come depending on what she wants to do. However, I no longer want her on this vacation. Her words caused damage, and I need space for healing. I love my mom, but the rejection has happened my whole life, and I’m ready for change.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/ladybatna on 2024-05-19 20:48:36.

Hello all, I (40F) and my husband (41M) have been married 20 years, and our children (twins F and M) are 14 this year.

We decided to get our vows renewed, as we got married at 20 and are now 20 years into marriage, we have spent half our lives together and the milestone lining up with our ages is cute.

We did not have the most grand wedding as we were both college students at the time, and as such have decided to host a more upscale party (not a wedding, we are renting a nice venue and getting a great caterer). It's more for the symbolic value than re-doing our wedding.

We've invited a lot of our family, including my sister (35F) and my brother in law (33M) - they both have young children with their partners (sister's is currently 6, brother in law's is 4.) and we have asked them to not bring them to the event.

We set this rule as there will be drinking, music, and the venue has quite a few areas that are restricted, and we don't think it would be good to have children under ten there with all of us. (we plan on having 23 guests, as those are all that have rsvp'd)

My sister was upset, as the venue has a large garden and an indoor aviary and butterfly raising facility, and her daughter loves butterflies. My BIL was also a bit upset, but more towards finding a babysitter (even though the event is 3 months out as of now)

Well, my sister and BIL have seemed to form a group and, upon learning that our cousin, who has a 10yo, will be bringing the 10yo, they have gotten quite angry and aggressive with us, asking us to let them come with their kids or they won't show up.

My mother is very lax and has on multiple occassions told my sister she's being unreasonable, but my sister thinks "no children under 10" rule should include the 10 year old, and has begun saying she thinks we dislike her daughter.

My husband is quite averse to confrontation and has told me he doesn't care if his brother comes or not.

Meanwhile, our kids are also not helping the situation. My daughter, in trying to be helpful, told my sister she would make a scrapbook of photos from the venue for her daughter, which only aggrivated my sister further. My son, in also trying to help, offerred to stay home and watch both of the kids, which made my BIL start piping up about how my son shouldn't have to stay home because we can't change our rule.

I do want my sister and my BIL to be there, but i also think they're being ridiculous. I have even offerred to pay for babysitting and have gotten turned down. I think they're too far seated in their commitment to getting us to break down the rule than they are to accept a peace offering.

Edit for clarity- My sister and My BIL are not the same family - my BIL is my husband's brother and NOT my sister's husband/partner. I apologize if my wording made it come across this way.

My BIL's wife is neutral, as she has mentioned she would love to attend either way.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/JusticeForInvestors on 2024-05-19 19:25:28.

I work in an intense, unfulfilling job six days a week. My wife has not had a paying job since we got engaged 16 years ago. 7 years ago, I quit my "change the world" job, which paid little, but conferred distinction and a sense of doing what is right -- for a mercenary, awful job I hate, but which pays 10 times as much.

My wife enthusiastically supported, indeed urged, my job change to the higher paying but awful job. For a while I held it all in, but over time, particularly recently, I've told her clearly that this job is leading me to an early grave. It is awful the people and crap I deal with every day. It is immensely stressful and not rewarding in the least. But of course, as the pay rolled in, our standard of living increased, and the amount we spend each month is eye-watering.

Last night, at a cocktail party with my friends, my wife got drunk, and on the way home, tearfully told me that I "just don't understand her," and that what she "truly needs to feel fulfilled is a horse." We know many people with horses. After a few questions, where she kept replying that this horse or that "wasn't good enough for her," our discussion devolved into shouting.

I view this as a pretty simple thing. I want to go back to a job I like some day. I'd like to reduce our spending so I don't need to work until I'm 80. My son wants to visit Madagascar. My point is that people's wants, practical (not working until I'm 80 in an awful job) or impractical (visiting Madagascar) are often placed aside.

Also FYI - I don't have any hobbies. So it's not like I'm spending money on cars or something and then telling her that she can't.

I should add that we live in the suburbs of a big city. We do not have a backyard where a horse can graze. We would need to first buy a special breed of horse she demands for tens of thousands of dollars, pay for feed, veterinary, stable, insurance, etc. We're talking HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of dollars. Another stone in my backpack. Basically guaranteeing that I will never be able to do anything else.

I view this as her saying, in so many terms: Well *I* want to be fulfilled; but I don't give a shit about your stress and fulfillment.

Am I the asshole for not rushing to buy her a horse?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Effective_Baby_706 on 2024-05-19 18:41:24.

My parents are divorced and my brother (12m) and I (16f) split time between mom and dad. Our dad remarried after the divorce 9 years ago. His wife has a daughter 10f who lives with them full time now but her dad was around for a little while when they first got together and he left after my dad's wife won custody officially. He doesn't pay anything for his kid and my dad and his wife are the ones covering everything for her.

My dad and his wife haven't been doing so good with money for a couple of years and this year has been the worst yet for them. My mom is doing better than ever though and she's really been stable with money. So my brother and I have a much better life than our stepsister. We get to do extra curricular's and we get nicer stuff in general. This got so much more obvious lately because my brother got to do two field trips and I got to do an international trip with my school last year.

My stepsister had a field trip come up a couple of weeks ago but my dad and his wife couldn't afford to pay for it. They asked my mom to pay and she said no. They asked my brother to ask my mom and he didn't. So dad asked me to ask mom. He told me how much his stepdaughter wanted to go but the school didn't have a fund to cover for families who couldn't afford it. He told me he knows it's not mom's job but they were desperate and just wanted her to have a nice time and she knows my brother and I never miss out and he didn't want her to feel less important.

I didn't ask. My dad got super pissed when the field trip came and neither my brother or I asked mom. And my stepsister didn't get to go which super pissed him off.

AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Expert-Age6450 on 2024-05-19 18:26:48.

My husband and I have a 5 y/o son. He's a good kid, but he's a handful, the way all young kids are. I for one am exhausted by parenthood and we definitely will not be having more children.

My husband loves to travel, and he still talks about our honeymoon to Europe on a regular basis. This was eight years ago, long before we had our child, and I admit that was a fabulous trip. But ever since we got pregnant, my husband daydreamed about taking our child along to Europe, showing them sights, etc. He never got that experience as a child and wanted our son to have that. I did travel as a young child, but it was definitely a lot for my parents to deal with and in hindsight, it would've just been easier to wait till we were older.

With the summer coming up, my husband is insisting on planning a trip to Europe for the three of us. He would've pushed for it sooner but COVID was a factor for the first couple years, and then after that it still didn't feel like the right time. We've taken small road trips with our son before, a few hours driving distance mostly to see family members. Last summer we did a trip to Disney World with my in laws and while that was fine, it was so draining and I think my son was a bit young for it and we should've waited a couple more years. I feel like for Europe, even more so. Maybe when he's well into grade school, 8 or 9?

I brought this up with my husband and he's begging me to reconsider, he misses traveling so much and hates that we never go anywhere. I reminded him that 'going places' is 5x more work now than it was pre-kids. He's a very involved dad but he tends to see things like this with rose colored glasses, while I'm more detail oriented and can foresee all the tiny little problems. In short, this wouldn't be a vacation at all.

AITA for asking my husband to postpone his dream once again until kiddo is older?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/ConflictActive222 on 2024-05-19 18:10:13.

It's mother's day. I ask my husband playfully if he has anything planned. He wants to go to Chinese buffet. HE wants to. I think it's a waste of time and money going there with two little kids. There's nothing personal about. No fond memories will be made of it. I'll just be more stressed having to wrangle the kids anyway. I tell him we live in France now and technically mother's day is a week away. If he wants, he's got time to think of something else. Now you guys have to understand I'm not looking for anything expensive. I'm so simple to please. Even a planned picnic to the park where for once, just once, he packs the picnic and gets the kids ready and I just have to put my shoes on and come with. I'd be over the stinking moon. Just that he shows a pinch of effort. I feel like I'm so desperate for him to show that he's part of our family. Next week comes. He's printed off some old pics of my daughter and gave me some chocolate we already in our pantry. It would have been cute had that come solely from my daughter. But that was HIS gift to me? We visit his uncle and cousins. They ask me what I got for mother's day. I told them. Not in a harsh or condescending way. Just normally. They say aww sympathetically and move on with the conversation. He. Is. Livid. Fuming. We get home and makes sure I feel worse than he does. How much he does for the family. I'm not his mother. I'm useless. I'm annoying. Why did I say that in front of everyone. And all the while I thought he loved me because he'd come home from work, kiss me, eat dinner, I put the kids to bed and we watched something. Watching something with him is highlight of my day. Just spending a little time together. Okay not quality time but together. I spent the rest of night crying in the park. To hear how he thinks I'm annoying broke me. Is that why I see him always being so nice to other people? Why he says he's tired from work but jumps at the opportunity to go out for coffee anytime somebody calls? I should have just went to the buffet.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/ComplaintOtherwise20 on 2024-05-19 16:35:56.

So I 21(F) had a knock at the door from a man who lives five doors down . I have been living on this street and have known him since I was 14, he is currently in his late 50s. For some insight I have quite bad anxiety and do not leave the house really unless necessary.

He was knocking quite loud and and looked out the window and it was him and since this was only of the only times I have ever really had him knock the door I assumed I was urgent and answered. He asked me on the date tonight and I said no and he ask for tomorrow and I said no then he went onto say let me know and I didn’t know what to say.

Ten minutes later he came back to the door but I couldn’t get myself to answer so I stuck my head out the window. He started shouting how it was on him how he would pay for everything and not to worry and how he will come see me again. I’ll be completely honest I didn’t know how to respond so I just said thanks.

He knows my mum better than he knows me so it kind of creeps me out the fact he asked me out when he has known me since I was a 14. My home is a safe space for me so the fact he came to my home and asked me out at my front door just has thrown me off I don’t know how to turn him down and feel comfortable. I was honestly thinking of just ignoring him. WIBTA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/PhilosopherHot2083 on 2024-05-19 15:44:07.

My son came out as gay yesterday on his birthday. After he came out, I said that I knew, then he mentioned a few key moments that gave away he liked boys and said that I love him and always will, but he seems to be hurt, and said that coming out gave him anxiety, and that I should have said that I knew he was gay. is there something wrong with me? maybe I could be the asshole for being cold in my response by saying I knew he was gay? how should I have come about this. As a single father I should have seen the signs and should have tread water lightly. I’m not sure🤔. What are your thoughts on the situation??

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Successful_Item6464 on 2024-05-19 13:09:57.

Hello, I am searching for a little clarity on this situation from an outside perspective.

Currently, my husband, baby, and I live with my parents in their home. My parents are snowbirds, so they're only here about half the year. They are well off, and do not charge us rent, which allows me to stay home with the baby. In exchange, we look after the house and do the majority of housework, and just generally try to be helpful and agreeable roommates.

Last week was my birthday, and my parents were in town for it. A few days beforehand, my mom started hinting that she had gotten me something big. She seemed really excited.

The day came, and we had a small party at home. Ordered takeout from my favorite restaurant, and my husband had gotten me a couple nice things I'd been wanting. Finally my dad brought out a large box, and my mom was practically jumping up and down. I was getting excited to. Then I opened to wrapping to find... a KitchenAid stand mixer. The mixer and accessories, all together, cost about $500.

Here's the thing. I hate cooking. I know how to do the basics, and I do my fair share of cooking in the home, but I get no joy from it. My mom knows this. We've talked about it many times. But my mom loves to cook. And she loves to bake. In fact, she's been talking about wanting one of those mixers for years.

I guess she could see the disappointment on my face, because she started trying to convince me how amazing the mixer was. She went on about all the attachments and accessories, and how it's top of the line. I tried to feign interest. I smiled and thanked my parents for getting me something so nice. But my mom was now noticeably disappointed by my reaction.

We moved on to the cake, and after dinner I was focused on getting the baby ready for bed. The next day, the mixer was still in the box, and mom started giving me a hard time about it. She kept making comments about how you'd think I'd be more appreciative of a $500 gift. And that if someone had spent $500 on her birthday gift she would've pulled it out and started using it right away.

I went ahead and got it out and set it up just to appease her. But I still haven't used it. Honestly I don't even know what to do with it. I don't bake. I told my mom that she should feel free to give it a test drive, but she responded that it was mine, not hers.

Now she's saying that she and dad might go back to their beach house earlier than planned.

I'm just not sure what she expected. She clearly thinks I'm being an AH, but it's just so obvious that she bought that gift for her, not for me. I would've rather her spent way less on me, and gotten something I could actually use. But maybe I'm just acting like a spoiled brat. I grew up pretty privileged, so maybe my perspective is skewed.

So reddit, and I being an AH here?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Aggravating-Worth643 on 2024-05-19 12:20:35.

Throwaway. English is not my main language, apologies for the mistakes.

I (31F) was traveling today with my 19 months old son on a plane on a 3 hour flight. My son, being under two, has to sit on my lap. I also had a big backpack with all the necessities that I keep on the floor and easily accessible. It can get crowded fast, but it's just how it is when you travel alone with a young child.

I got assigned a random seat (12C) at checkup, and ended up being in a row with no other empty seat. Although I appreciate it when there is an empty seat next to me as it greatly improves our flight experience, It's not an expectation I have and I never ask for it at check up.

Once the boarding was completed but before take off, a flight attendant came to me and offered to move us 3 row up (9C) because there were two seats availables, and that they usually try to accommodate people with young infants. I was delighted and accepted right away. The flight attendant helped me move my things and explained the situation to the other passenger on row 9.

The passenger did not appreciated it at all, she started complaining to the flight attendant that she was planning to sleep on the flight, and that it would be impossible now. That she specifically chose this seat while checking online because the row was empty and it's gonna be a nightmare now.

The flight attendant simply explained that both my seats (old and new) are Standard, that the women only paid for her own seat and that their policy is trying to accommodate young parents if possible.

The woman then told me that I should be ashamed to impose all this noise on people that are just trying to enjoy their flight. Especially since it wasn't even my seat and I didn't even pay for it.

Honestly, I'm really not good with confrontation, I usually end up either crying or apologizing so I just ignored her all the way, as if she didn't speak at all. That got her even more angry but she finally stopped complaining after a while.

My son ended up crying only once, I got some stinky eye and some other rude comments but all in all, the flight was way more comfortable for us this way, so I don't really regret switching seats. But I do wonder if I'm the AH, it's true that I didn't pay for that seat, and that it wasn't my originally assigned seat.

AITA here?

EDIT : Spelling

EDIT 2 to address some recurring themes :

• The bag can fit under the seat, it was there during take off and landing. It was on the floor the rest of the time for easy access.
• My son was on my lap the whole flight (as per the Flight Attendant demand), the extra seat was just extra space to feel less crowded and not bump elbows.
• I'm overweight yes, but not extremely so, I haven't lost all my pregnancy weight yet.
• I'm from Europe, my son HAS to be in my lap, the flight attendant insisted on it when she offered me to switch seats. We aren't allowed to bring car seats with us, they go with luggage.
• I can't afford to buy an extra seat just to have more space, as my son isn't allowed to sit there yet.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Formal-Suggestion841 on 2024-05-19 11:57:16.

I (28f) am pretty much estranged from my sister. I don't have her number nor she mine, we're not social media friends, we don't know where the other lives and we don't invite each other into our lives at all. She didn't invite me to her wedding and before the party she had never seen my kids (though she still never interacted with them which I'd prefer). The only time we ever see each other is when it concerns our grandparents. I don't have much to do with my parents either. But my grandparents are different.

My grandparents had an informal party to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary and we all went. My partner of 13 years and our three kids were there. My sister was also there with her husband. At some point during the party my sister came up to me and started berating me for using two of her favorite names for my children. I still don't know for sure which ones I used that she would have wanted but I think it might have been the names of my two daughters. My only reason for the assumption is when we weren't estranged she'd only ever talk about having daughters. But we never talked about this and I never knew about baby names she might or might not like. We were already estranged when I was pregnant with my first so it never came up. She told me it was disgusting and I should change them because she's struggling with infertility and deserves to use the names when her baby finally comes. I told her she had no right to throw around demands. And I said I was not going to rename my 5 and 3 year olds for her.

I walked away and attempted to avoid a scene but she followed me to berate me some more. She called me inconsiderate and accused me of acting out of spite. Yet again I tried walking away but to no avail. She grew louder and I knew a scene was about to start so I apologized to my grandparents and then I left with my family.

After the party I got a text from a couple of aunts and uncles scolding me for walking out and also sharing messages my parents had sent them about it where I was accused of ruining my grandparents celebration. I also got screenshots of my sister's thoughts as well. They said I was very childish and hurtful walking away from my sister but also for abandoning my grandparents.

My grandparents understood and they're not angry but it's wearing on me a little what those aunts and uncles are saying plus the screenshots of what my parents and sister are saying. And I didn't want to leave. I felt it was for the best. But now I'm doubting myself and I may have made it worse the next time my sister and I are in the same room.

AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Business_Drama_4557 on 2024-05-19 10:26:20.

Hi reddit,

I'm a married M32 without kids. My sister is an unmarried F28 with 3 kids. I am the godfather of her oldest son 6. My sister is a stay at home mom that never really worked and who always seemed to find someone taking care of her. At first our parents, who had to help her out a lot because "she really didn't have it easy with all her health stuff" - she has allergies - and then her boyfriend (father of the 3 kids). Money with them is always tight since the guy doesn't earn a lot and my sister has a good habit of spending cash on cloths she really can't afford. Now, out of the blue, she asked me to have a serious talk with her. Long story short, she confronted me about not helping them out money wise since " you don't have any kids, and it takes a village to raise children. Also, you are the godfather of M6 and by agreeing to that you should feel at least some responsibility to take care of him". I was mildly shocked at that and told her that this is again her not owning up to her own life choices and wanting others to take care of whatever mess she got herself into. I gift generous presents to all 3 kids, I watch them sometimes for days just so their parents can have some time off and her comments hurt me deeply. Especially because she said that "Mom and dad agree with me and are a little disappointed to help me out financially". I refused all of it, got angry and told her to leave. Now she calls me childish, resentful and selfish for putting myself above the children of the family. In her opinion, its all because I am still jealous of her being the favorite child and getting along better with our parents.

Is that the case? Am I the bitter asshole that doesn't want to help because I am upset she always got away with things and still does? In all honesty, that is a point that still bugs me ... do I now let that out at her children with not helping?

Edit: Horrible spelling and a BIG Thank you to everyone, this gave me some really good perspectives on this thing!

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Less-Philosopher268 on 2024-05-19 10:03:37.

So like about a month ago my dad started buying me (15F) bras for literally no reason, it was weird and after like a week I told him to stop and he did but recently he started buying them again I don’t know why. He gave me another one yesterday and I got kind of annoyed because I told him again while ago to stop so I yelled at him and told him to stop buying me bras because it’s weird and also they’re not even my size so he’s quite literally just wasting his money. He told me that he’s just trying to be nice and that i’ll grow into them, like no the fuck I will not? I am not gonna “grow into” double Ds like pls be so fr. I told him that I appreciate him trying to be nice but it’s just weird that he continues to buy me them after I told him not to. Like I can buy my own bras thank you and also I don’t even need any rn like what is the point in him buying them for me. I don’t know what his obsession is. He called me ungrateful and told me I should grow up and stop being so disrespectful. I don’t think his intention is to be weird but I think it is weird that he keeps buying me them after I’ve told him not to. I don’t know if i’m overreacting or not tho but he is kinda upset

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Otherwise-Comb2672 on 2024-05-19 09:32:07.

My wife and I have a 2 year old daughter—let’s call her Anna—and we’re currently on a family vacation in Hawaii with my parents and my in-laws (7 people total). We are staying at my father’s timeshare, which he periodically invites us to. The two pairs of grandparents adore Anna and seem to get along with each other. Anna is undergoing potty-training right now, and as with all potty-training, there are occasional accidents.

We arrived in Hawaii two days ago, and she had quite a few accidents - I suspect because she’s dealing with an unfamiliar place and new people. Right before dinner, Anna had an accident on the pullout sofa, which necessitated a call to housekeeping to swap out sheets and cushions. My dad wasn’t happy.

When all 7 of us sat down shortly afterward for dinner, my dad sat down and the first thing out of his mouth was, “Anna is out of control, isn’t she.” Bear in mind Anna was sitting right across from him at the table. I let it slide and continued eating, and my wife said something to try to brush it off. Then, my dad suggested that we put Anna back in diapers and that she not be allowed on the bed or the couch. I responded by saying that I didn’t want to do that and that potty-training is a process that has highs and lows. My dad then remarked that it would be problematic if she had an accident on the carpet because it’d be hard to clean up. In my mind, I thought to myself, “So you don’t want her on the bed, couch, or carpet—where is she supposed to hang out the whole time, the bathroom??” At that point, I was frustrated and said something to the extent of, “If Anna’s accidents are too big of a problem, we can always find another place to stay at.”

That’s when my dad blew up. He accused me of threatening him and of being disrespectful. It seemed that he took my suggestion as a threat of leaving, and he made very clear that he felt offended. He also said that I needed to “be careful with what I say and show respect to your parents.” I responded by repeatedly telling him that I didn’t threaten him nor intend for him to be threatened. He responded that “it doesn’t matter what your intent was, because I feel threatened.” At this point I was really upset, so I said something I probably shouldn’t have, remarking that he was “too easily threatened.”

My dad then demanded that I apologize to him. I didn’t feel that I had to, but I half-heartedly apologized because I wanted the argument to end and because it was making things super uncomfortable for my in-laws who were also sitting at the table and eating dinner through all of this. Later that evening my dad pulled me aside again and lectured me further about the argument.

It seemed that the whole blowup happened in response to my remark that we could stay elsewhere if my dad couldn’t tolerate Anna’s potty training accidents. AITA for saying that?

The original post: /r/itookapicture by /u/deoee on 2024-05-19 18:13:55.