this post was submitted on 20 May 2024
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/ReasonableAd6078 on 2024-05-20 00:56:29.

Visits with my in laws are always grueling in some form or another. Generally a “lively discussion” about current events that is basically just regurgitating stuff they read on the news to each other, like theyre breaking some new ground.

Now, they are perfectly entitled to discuss whatever they want to, but it makes me extremely uncomfortably as the only person of color to hear them belabor the history of racism and colonization right in front of me when it’s something my ancestors and I have survived.

I feel like when certain points are made, my MIL is always trying to make eye contact with me to get some sort of validation or reaction from me. Tonight I couldnt handle it any longer and mentally disengaged for the majority of the conversation. At one point I excused myself to go to the restroom and breath, then excused myself to go to bed early after helping clean up.

Husband is confused about why I acted so cold considering that “nobody said anything racist to you” and “were all on your side”. I explained to him that I was starting to feel like Im in some bad version of Get Out, and it makes me feel claustrophobic to sit through a dinner about how people who look like me are invariably fucked in this country.

AITA for taking some space from the entire situation for my mental health? 😞

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