kellenoffdagrid

I've been diagnosed with ADHD but not with anxiety. I've never been diagnosed with depression tho.

I've got ADHD too, and I can see some similarities in how my struggles in school (influenced by ADHD behavior) led to constant anxiety, frequent depressive episodes, and overall poor self-esteem. It's pretty darn common for people with ADHD to have these kinds of issues because they're often told it's all their fault, when in actuality their community failed to give them the support they needed.

There's a lot of things I wanted to do. I wanted to be a nurse, I wanted to go to university/college, I wanted be a programmer ect ect but I just couldn't.

First off, it's really good that you have ideas of what you want to do, that's half the battle. The other thing is that these things can be achieved, they'll just take time. Just because you didn't do X thing before X time doesn't mean you're shut off from that forever, especially with things like getting a job you care about or going to uni. Those things can be built up to. Exactly how that will happen depends on your circumstances, but I know lots of people who worked a job they cared less about to support getting certifications or education, so it absolutely can be done. Having those aspirations is step one, so you're already in a position to keep going that direction. The big thing is to remember you've got blind spots and you don't know all your options, so doing research and asking help will help you get there.

First off, I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through. Your family (especially parents) failed you by not supporting you in your education and early adult life -- that's when people need the most support as they grow. Nobody deserves that, and I hope you're able to keep finding the support you need. It's a relief to hear you have/had a friend to live with, and I sincerely hope you're able to keep finding that kind of support.

Hope is a difficult thing. It's often swayed by external circumstances, but ultimately it's a concept that you foster for yourself. Hope might be an irrational desire, but it's the reason anyone ever does anything. My outlook is that every person has potential to do good, and that potential is only "wasted" if they stop reaching for it -- that idea gives me hope for others and for myself. I've heard some pretty rough stories very similar to yours, but the common thread with many of them is that those stories didn't end there, they kept going and ended up somewhere. It just took them time; years, decades maybe, but it got them to a place where they were happier and more self-assured.

Really, the biggest factor in all of this is time. I'm also in my 20s, and I've also made some mistakes that "set me back" a few years and had me in a similar place of feeling hopeless and incapable. The biggest part of all of this is that we're still very young, and the years it takes to learn and grow feel longer now than they will when we're old. I think it's important to see this part of your life as a time to make mistakes and struggle and hurt, but also as a time to slowly but steadily grow and learn and find your people.

Your past happened and led you here. You had some say in it, but many of those factors of your early life were far outside your control, and now they're a done deal. But now, now is an important time. This moment is different from before: in many ways you have more freedoms, and while in other ways you'll still feel held down by familiar forces, now you have a different environment with different options that could build up to something better. This is what ultimately matters: doing what you can, in this moment.

I know I may also sound cringe in this long-ass post, but I think cringe often a by-product of sincerity. I sincerely do have hope for you, even if you're a stranger, even if I don't know your whole story, even though what you've said is an absolutely horrible experience, I still have hope for you. Why? Because you showed a scrap of hope by even posting this. A truly hopeless person wouldn't care enough ask other people what they thought, but you did. That tells me you want a better life badly enough to keep trying, and that's a huge step.

I hope all that philosophical/life outlook stuff I said helped you feel at least a little better. Even if it didn't, I really do mean it when I say I hope the best for you and truly believe you can get yourself to a place where you're happier. But I'm sure you're tired of my yapping about humanity and hope and potential, so I'd like to say something more materially helpful. The specifics depend on where you are, but I can list a few real things that you can do (or already have done) that can help you build some stability. All I ask is that you go through this list looking for things that might work, and try not to focus on what "won't work." I know I tend to focus on the latter when I'm struggling, so I hope this reminder helps if you do too. Now, here's some ideas that might be helpful:

• Research some local resources. I'm intentionally vague here because there's a lot of ways you can go, but here's some resources to look into:
  • Addiction clinics and treatment resources. You seem like you don't love how drugs are affecting your life, so I think it's worth spending a lot of time and effort trying to find some treatment/guidance to gain back control here
  • If you have a public library, please look into the programs they offer. They're honestly the greatest public good in this world, and depending on where you are and how your library is funded, they likely offer lots of free online education resources and in-person workshops, some aimed at people entering the workforce. If nothing else, libraries offer a place to be, a change of scenery, books, movies, computers, and music, all for free. Libraries are pools of knowledge with people who genuinely want to help you learn, so don't pass them up.
  • Places for art/creative expression. Super vague, I know, but that's because this depends on what your interests are and your location. These kinds of gatherings and communities may be online too, but it's worth finding real people nearby first and foremost. Do you like music? Your city probably has cheap bars or house shows you can go to. Like drawing, painting, graffiti? Good hobbies on your own, but even better when done in a communal setting. Local cafes, restaurants, and other businesses might host artist gatherings. Into DnD, TTRPG, or other games? Same as before, local businesses probably host DnD/game nights, and these circles are often welcoming and have a lot of down-to-earth people. Whatever the case, finding places where you can see and express creative work is important for the human spirit. Plus, getting to know people keeps you sane and increases your "network," so you might stumble into new opportunities thanks to one of these connections. You can find these kinds of meet-ups through city websites and social media pages for your library and local businesses.
• IQ is a scam and has no bearing on your worth. It's a shaky metric and it's validity has been questioned for years. Worst of all, it reduces you to a number; I don't care how "valid" a metric might be, it becomes dangerous as soon as it's used as a value judgement. Besides, you strike me as pretty smart considering you got grades in that B-C range under all that stress with zero actual support, and using a Reddit alternative tells me you're inquisitive. That matters.
• Life might be a series of distractions, but those distractions can be great parts of your life. All this to say, if you don't already have a hobby or creative outlet of some kind, think about what interests you and find some cheap ways to fulfill that interest. Drawing is pretty accessible, you can even get most of the supplies for free if you keep your eye out. Making music is now very doable for free on phones or computers, see things like Bandlab and other online tools for free playgrounds. Writing can be done digitally or physically cheaply too. Reading is free thanks to libraries. Finding things to do that interest you are one of the biggest things you can do for yourself.
• As someone who also has ADHD, I know how that can make everything harder. It takes time and you keep learning, but I know it's possible to build routines and structures that better mesh with the way your brain works. You're not in this alone.

I've written too damn much now, but I hope something there meant something to you. I'm sure you've heard a few of these things before, but I know when I'm hopeless I need to be reminded what my options are. From one young person to another in a rough world, I genuinely hope you're able to find what you need. I'm proud of you.

That's a fair point, I guess I think of digital goods in a different context.

They definitely deserve compensation for their work, and how they chose to do it is absolutely valid. I think I'm biased toward open source hardware where the labor of creating their digital files is subsidized by selling the physical product instead. I realize that's a risk and takes more effort though, so I totally understand why they didn't do that.

I replied to another response similar to yours so I won't bore you unless you want to read more, but I mostly agree with what you said and I totally agree that the work itself to create the file is worth compensation. I'm just a penny-pinching bastard who would rather find out if the print is actually good before paying lmao.

Pay-what-you-want, donations, and subsidizing with a higher price for the final product makes more sense to me in terms of these kinds of digital goods, but that's besides the point, and I'm no expert on this kind of thing.

Honestly I'd be willing to pay 5-8 bucks for the final product since it looks more polished than any of the free designs I've seen. But yes, fair points.

I don't disagree, never said people should work for free. I recognize there's a disjoint in believing good information should be free[ly accessible] and also that people deserve compensation for work, though. It's just one of those contradictions I haven't solved as far as my own beliefs.

More than anything I was complaining, like I said it's a totally valid business choice, I'm just a penny-pincher lol.

Oh definitely, I just think it's easier to justify paying for a physical product than it is paying for a single file if you still need to manufacture it yourself. Still a valid business practice, I'm just biased toward "information should be free" and all that.

Looks like the specific design in this video is being sold here, but if you'd prefer something that isn't behind a pay wall there's a few options (like this one).

Side rant: I'm all for people getting compensation for creative work but I feel like it's wrong to put the source file behind a waywall instead of simply selling the actual print directly to people that don't have access to a printer, that seems much more fair imo

I mean that's kinda the whole deal with 3d printing, it's useful for really niche applications where you can just add a small amount of convenience to your life.

Someone else commented about this being good for school kids so they can safely make cat scratchers to donate to animal shelters, and as a cat owner with a constant pile of recycling I can see this being actually useful if I wanna avoid spending $20-$40 on one of those fancier cardboard cat scratchers from Target or whatever.

They could've so easily solved this by making it just immediately jump to the search bar on tap, or hide that feature behind a long press like some other apps do if they're really wanting to push people towards trending searches. I appreciate that it's within thumb's reach now but this is a pretty lackluster implementation

Yeah honestly if they could do a massive overhaul on performance and UX with the OSK then that'd solve the main complaint I've had with touch interfaces on Linux

I think it's based on the xdg-desktop-portal accent color support, but there were specific hooks added to libadwaita to handle that desktop standard, at least that's my guess based on this.

Definitely glad we have the major desktops all natively supporting accent colors now, it's been a long time coming.

Not to be dramatic, but I think this means it's finally the year of the Linux desktop /s

Glad GNOME finally got this finished, it's good to finally have most of the major desktops on the same page with the freedesktop accent color support.