blakeus12

I would call myself an atheist right now, but I feel something within me that is religious. I don't know what I believe in but I want to study Christianity, but I have no idea where to start. I was born catholic but absolutely hated it, there was contradictions to its teachings at every turn, and there was constant cruelty and abuse. It felt like a place for rich middle class assholes to call themselves good people and justify their bigotry. For 5 years now, I've referred to myself as "atheist," but have always been very interested in concepts of Christianity and Gnosticism, as well as religion in general. However, every community -- both IRL and online -- of Christians has been ridiculously toxic and hateful, and as a bi (also confused about that too) man I have never felt safe at any of these places, even "inclusive" ones. But christian themes and ideas have always made me feel a way that is indescribable, and I want to reevaluate my faith.

Now, from the little I know about Christianity, Gnosticism seems to, at least from my view, reconcile the the things that gave me so much grief about the bible. The idea of the bible's YHVH as being an ignorant and malevolent being whose arrogance leads it to enslave humans and go against god's true ideals, and bringing suffering to its imperfect world. But, how would I reconcile this as a communist? If the "goal" of Gnosticism is to is to escape to the perfect, immaterial world, what would be the point of making our current one better?

I want to do more research, and try to find the answer to all of this but I just don't know where to start. I think I should read the bible, but I have so much shit going on, so I don't know whether or not I can commit to that. Already I have 8 hours of school, an hour of studying Chinese, an hour of working out, and still spending time with my friends and family, I don't know how I could commit more time to diligently and properly studying religion. Do any of you comrades have advice? Thank you for reading this, and I'm sorry it's been a stream of consciousness-type post.

My parents texted me about this "zevia" soda shit that's sweetened with stevia extract which is supposedly 0 calories, thus healthy. but knowing other "diet" sodas that doesn't mean its good for you, and i can't find any studies on the effects of it and i'm super confused. apparently indigenous people would use the whole leaf as a sweetener, but the extract may be different? is it a fruit juice situation, where removing the rest of the leaf removes all of the healthy shit? does anybody know?

one day we were hanging out, when somehow the topic of the Roma people came up and he referred to them by the derogatory term that starts with a G. I figured he was just ignorant of it, so I told him that it's really not cool to say that and that he went on a whole rant about how romani were "bums" and that "all they did was steal" and that "you would agree with me if i met one." He gave a few anecdotes about how he saw a romani person in line at a grocery store and said they stank, giving this as justification that they are all "bums." When I kept calling him out on saying the G slur he told me to grow a pair, because "people are gonna say stuff you don't like." I was really confused and shocked as he had shown me nothing of this and I was pretty sad. I feel so angry that this kind of discrimination is so god damned common among americans. I cant wait to get out of this hellhole

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/QODH7z7jOR

the balls to say jong un is the WORST PERSON ALIVE ON EARTH is fucking insane

personally i choose chicago. I've heard great things about chinatown there.

I'm aware this was a shitty prank but god, a life ruined over this? it's just sad

saying something this edgy does not absolve you of bigotry

edit: for anyone stumbling into the drama, i probably should have elaborated on this post. I am not saying you can't make fun of white people not being able to eat spicy food or anything, but at some point it becomes self-flagellating. to quote comrade RedQuestionAsker:

It's good to challenge white supremacy in all of its incarnations at all time. It's certainly good to refuse to be proud to be white considering what the concept of whiteness is.

It's another thing to performatively hate yourself in a cocktail of millennial self-deprecation and liberal white guilt. It's not revolutionary, and it's probably not good for you.

that is all. comrades just know i dont hate any of you. i'm not trying to start a slapfight. i just saw this as weird performative behavior and wanted to call it out.