Defenestrator

joined 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Maybe your employer will accept a statutory declaration instead of a doctor's certificate. Mine does.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Humans can grow up to eight feet. Most of them only grow posthumously, hence the expression, "six feet under."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Explanation:

spoilerThere is no effin' way

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism it's just the opposite.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Gending Machine

[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago

"If elected, I will stop all those other sheep from crossing the border and stealing your food!"

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

“What creature walks on four legs in the morning, two at noon and three in the evening?”

A kobold. In the morning it scurries around on all fours, trying to get everything in order before its master wakes up. At midday, it stands at attention before its master. By the evening, it gets tired and leans on its tail a bit.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Who's Steve Jobs?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

One day I'm going to play an asexual bard, just to subvert expectations.

 
[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Rocs fall, everyone dies

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Did he collapse from seeing the rainbow roundabout?

 
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