listing: all - local
1
59
Post text, images, or direct links only (lemmy.world)
submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink

Please see the updated sidebar. Do not post external links to websites such as Facebook and Instagram.

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22
When AIs start creating AIs... (lemmy.world)
submitted 6 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink

Maybe we'll see some AI generated dad jokes.

3
93
What do dogs and phones have in common? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink

They both have collar ID.

4
203
Why can't you tell jokes about retired people? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
10 comments fedilink

Because none of them work.

5
92
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink

A can't opener.

6
53
How do you annoy a robot? (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink

Keep pushing its buttons.

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118
Did you hear about the man who accidentally drank invisible ink? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 5 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink

He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.

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69
It goes without saying that... (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
13 comments fedilink

...

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417
This is a real TOSser (ttrpg.network)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
20 comments fedilink

Kirk: I'm having trouble hearing lately. Bones: Can you describe the symptoms? Kirk: Homer is a fat guy, and his wife Marge has blue hair.

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127
I bought a pet termite. I named it Clint. (ttrpg.network)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink

Clint eats wood.

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313
Until I got a pair, I always thought orthopaedic shoes were nonsense. (ttrpg.network)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink

Now I stand corrected.

12
69
Did you hear about the square that got in a car accident? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
6 comments fedilink

Now it's a wrecked angle.

13
55
I borrowed a bunch of tables from friends for a garage sale last weekend, and gave them back yesterday. (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink

My, how the tables have returned!

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36
What do you call a psychic little person who breaks out of prison? (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink

A small medium at large.

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18
I think it goes without saying (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink
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2
What did the lettuce say to the celery? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink

"Quit stalking me!"

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4
On my way to work this morning a tractor nearly crashed into me. The driver was shouting about the end of the world being nigh... (feddit.uk)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink

... I think it was Farmer Geddon.

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2
I got a new pair of shoes from my recreational pharmaceutical direct sales outlet. (ttrpg.network)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink

I don't know what they were laced with, but I've been tripping all day.

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5
Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink

It's a little meteor.

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3
What do you give a sick lemon? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink

Lemon aid.

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2
Why is money called dough? (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink

Because everyone kneads it.

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1
I stopped telling "Yo Mama" jokes because they were déclassé. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink

Now I tell Yo-Yo Ma jokes, which are much classier.

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20
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? (lemm.ee)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
9 comments fedilink

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bay gulls.

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2
Where do saplings go to learn? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink

Elemen-tree school.

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4
What do you call a belt made of wristwatches? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink

A waist of time.

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Dad Jokes

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This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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