320

Amazon Let Its Drivers’ Urine Be Sold as an Energy Drink (www.wired.com)

submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

39 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Amazon sold bottles of urine marketed as an energy drink, a new documentary reveals. The company also makes it alarmingly easy to sell dangerous items to children.

all 40 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[-] [email protected] 151 points 7 months ago

Not surprising in the least. I was part of an Amazon product review program, but I stopped participating after seeing multiple posts for pet treats that contained ingredients that are harmful to dogs. Reporting the listings was a nightmare, and they were never taken down.

Fuck you, Amazon.

[-] [email protected] 36 points 7 months ago

Not sure if I want to blame Amazon or just pet food companies.

I had two cats. My first cat died around 4 years. The vet tried her best. The second cat was hitting the same symptoms and went on a special vet diet and still lives.

I got two new cats later. Decide to feed them supermarket pet food. Same symptoms as the prior cats around the same age.

I now feed them expensive cat foods that's 3x the cost. They have been happy and healthy.

I know not everyone can afford it. But I highly suspect that modern cheap catfood is full of bad shit.

[-] [email protected] 27 points 7 months ago

What was the pet food that hurt your cats? What pet food do you give them now?

[-] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago

Not the person you responded to, but my vet strongly urged me to transition my cats to primarily wet food, saying that the cheapest wet food is still better than the best dry food. I could go on and on and on, but to be brief, they provide different ratios of carbs:protein (cats are obligate carnivores and require almost zero carbs) and cats that eat primarily wet food are much more likely to be adequately hydrated.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

The cheap pet food at supermarkets. Anything Purina. I'd argue any supermarket pet food, but I'm not a animal nutritionist.

I currently buy pet food from small pet food stores that have a wider variety. Currently I feed them this 4-ingredient dry cat food that costs like 4x times the supermarket price, and daily wet food recommended by the vet.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

I used to work at a vet clinic. Almost all the cats with new urinary blockages ate fancy feast, cat chow, or some similar Wal-Mart brand.

I would feel bad even feeding feral cats that crap.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago

To give them a very tiny sliver of credit, they did pull a good number of the radioactive "quantum healing" quackery they were selling... after it got attention of course.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago

Wish on the other hand....

So many radioactive products instructed to be worn over major arteries in one place for extended periods of time. What could go wrong?..

[-] [email protected] 114 points 7 months ago

Humans are burning down the wrong Amazon.

[-] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago

I just learned that the Amazon tablet/e-reader thing is literally called Amazon Fire. Like... Seriously. It's a little on the nose, no? Like Bezos and his team KNOW and sell this shit to people laughing all the way to the bank and people just line up. I'm so done with this world.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

The e-reader is the Kindle. But that's just how they started the Fire.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Oh shit that completely slipped my mind, but I'm not really all that up to speed with Amazon products.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

That's fair. Honestly, it was kind of a dumb move on their part to name their tablets "Kindle Fire" on release, as it confused almost everyone with what was an e-reader and what wasn't. By the time they returned it to just "Fire" / "Fire Tablet" to match other product families (Fire Phone, Fire TV), the damage was done. The only reason I can keep it straight is the fact that I worked on them for a decade.

[-] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I mean it's kind of genius marketing though, just straight up comically villainous/evil, like we're living in a cartoon. One of the top 3, if not the top 1, companies has branches called "The Amazon Fire" while we're literally fucking burning the rainforests in Amazon down. Amazon Kindle, Amazon Fire. That shit is just evil.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Wasn't it always burning since the world was turning?

[-] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Shut up and take my upvote!

[-] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

I never thought of it this way but yeah... That made it through a bunch of levels in their company and no one there thought of it either. Wow...

[-] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Don't forget the Amazon FireTV stick.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

That one is very good. It's mine now thanks

[-] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Could always build something home-made rocket launchers and incindiary missiles and launch from a distance

Or you could yeet a molotov cocktail at an amazon warehouse but tuat requires you to be closer and is more riskier

This is a joke NSA, CIA, ASIO, etc

[-] [email protected] 61 points 7 months ago

What the fuck….

[-] [email protected] 73 points 7 months ago

Hahaha the onion always deliv....waitaminute

[-] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

Thought the same. "Well, TheOnion must be out of ide-"

[-] [email protected] 51 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

But inside, each bottle was filled with urine allegedly discarded by Amazon delivery drivers and collected from plastic bottles by the side of the road.

That didn’t stop Amazon from listing it for sale, though. Release even attained number one bestseller status in the “Bitter Lemon” category.

Absolutely amazing.

(No members of the public were actually sent driver urine; instead Butler corralled a group of friends into making the purchases.)

That's good. But the fact that someone could buy it and get sent urine via Amazon is horrifying.

Knowing that Amazon processes returns based on the weight of the incoming packages, he sends back buckets of sand to get his money back—attempting to shield himself from legal liability for fraud by running everything through a shell company in Belize.

They STILL do this? I remember people saying they buy refurbished or open-box graphics cards and received bricks. That was more than a decade ago.

[-] [email protected] 32 points 7 months ago

Also this part

“I thought that the food and drinks licensing would stop me from listing it, so I started it out in this Refillable Pump Dispenser category. Then the algorithm moved it into drinks.”

[-] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

They STILL do this? I remember people saying they buy refurbished or open-box graphics cards and received bricks. That was more than a decade ago.

They'll keep doing it until it stops being cost effective. The fact is that the number of fraudsters are drastically outnumbered by good actors, and compared to their revenue, a few missing graphics cards are literally nothing

[-] [email protected] 42 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

as someone that drives for Amazon flex I am shockingly chill about this news, I just want to know how I can get paid by selling my piss through amazon

[-] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

I'm honestly shocked that Amazon would let them sell piss. That seems like more of an OnlyFans market.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

hell, if the demand is there, I shall supply the market, on any website they desire! I will chug water for several hours a day in between bringing you your packages, america! a deep sacrifice I am willing to make for the poor souls who need an energy boost and yet have 6.99 in discretionary income.

[-] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago

This HAS to be the onion, please

[-] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago

No pay wall version

https://12ft.io/proxy?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wired.com%2Fstory%2Famazon-let-its-drivers-urine-be-sold-as-an-energy-drink%2F

[-] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago

Oobah is fucking hilarious yet incredibly illuminating on issues that you don't hear much about. Ghost kitchens, snooty haute couture, and now selling body fluids to stay afloat. Wild.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago

The documentary, airing tonight - https://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-great-amazon-heist

[-] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

There are limits to these 'not the onion' jokes...

Edit after reading:

OK, at least none were actually sold to unaware people to drink, thank god!!!

Though to think Amazon was more than ready to sell them tho...

[-] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

They should stop hiring screenwriters from black mirror

[-] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Would this still be a story if it were eBay?

[-] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Probably, eBay was just in the news for this

[-] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Paywalled. :(

[-] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Take this

this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2023

320 points (94.9% liked)

Not The Onion

10738 readers

3270 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 11 months ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]