this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2023
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Israel Military Reports It Was You, The Reader, Who Blew Up Hospital (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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GAZA CITY, GAZA—Following conflicting accounts of a horrific attack on a Gaza hospital, officials from the Israeli Defense Forces released a new statement Wednesday that claimed it was you, the reader of this very article, who committed the act of terror.

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[–] [email protected] 251 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Damn the Onion is on fire lately.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And all it took was a human catastrophe.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Crazy-laugh-cry

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

So true, its keeping me slightly more sane (less insane maybe more accurate) about the whole mess

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[–] [email protected] 150 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I suspected me all along. The signs were all there.

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[–] [email protected] 96 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

what really blew up the hospital was the friends we made along the way

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

if we is the US and friends we "made" is taken literally..

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[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I am disgusted by my actions.

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[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 year ago

We've been trying to reach you about your hospital's extended warranty...

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Shit sorry I knew I should have eaten less beans last night

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago

Thank god I didn’t read the article.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sorry I was hungry

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Have a snickers

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

you're not you when you're hungry

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago

Ahh shit, got found out. Time to run

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

they are not wrong, it's your tax money being used there

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago

What if the real treasure is the hospitals we bombed along the way?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Man, that guy that got mad about a joke that called him dense regarding this topic is going to be pissed about this.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

You have me as a reference when you apply to The Onion.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago

Mah bad

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I KNEW IT!

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

I’m sure I had a good reason

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

Woopsie doodles

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Shit, they caught me!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Osama Bin Laden Found Inside Each Of Us

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

Reader response criticism has gone too far! Stanley Fish in shambles!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

I knew it, it was the Ambien

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Guess I am banned from leaving my house then

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Haha! I am pacifist and I did not open the link!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Yeah? So? What's the big deal?

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