I will say, lately lemmy has been in uncharacteristically confrontational. It's been a rough year so far, hopefully things chill out
this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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I totally understand that. A lot of people here are arseholes.
I think my experience has gotten much better now that I have a long blocklist and am on an instance with downvotes disabled. But yeah it doesn’t feel super friendly all the time here.
But I feel the same way on reddit.
Sorry to hear.
I saw your post yesterday, I knew it was going to get negative reactions.
Maybe you can try more positive communities like [email protected] ?
There is a selection of communities here: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/20504960?scrollToComments=true
If that may help, someone told me I was an "energy vampire" today, so it seems like everyone will get a not so nice interaction every once in a while. I hope you'll stick around, but it not, all the best!
Well dang it! Here I thought me being tired all the time was just me being old as fuck!
You stop sucking me off, Colin!
😂
Colin Robinson is the best character on WWDITS so that's a compliment really
It started with "they’re basically an energy vampire that just drags down the vibe of Lemmy with constant but what about or I don’t fully agree replies" so I'm sure it's not supposed to be as flattering as a comparison to Colin Robinson
Speaking of which, I was in a discussion about that yesterday:
I specifically avoid .ml and .world because the collective behavior (i.e., hostility, downvote trolling, etc.) is so much like Reddit.
Beehaw, Hexbear and Blahaj have all disabled downvotes, but Blahaj is the only one that's decent, which is why I'm here.
(I would link directly to these if I could, but am having issues with that.)
For what it's worth, Discuit is also a generally friendly place.
Ive found myself actually reading a ton of threads from hexbear, and ive found them to be some of the most civil and welcoming lemmy users PROVIDED they dont think that youre arguing in bad faith. They can be quick to dismiss anyone who seems like a bad actor, and i think thats totally fair, because its rude as hell to go into someones safe space and start acting like you know better or being dismissive of their beliefs. Especially when you dont actually want a well reasoned answer, you just want to stir shit. Hexbear users are great, opinionated people. Lemmy.world users (and mods especially) seem to be terrible, opinionated people. Hexbear totally doesnt deserve the bad rap they get imo, and their trans community is awesome.
because its rude as hell to go into someones safe space and start acting like you know better or being dismissive of their beliefs. Especially when you dont actually want a well reasoned answer, you just want to stir shit.
You're running on a lot of assumptions.
I made a comment that had nothing to do with any of that. It received quite a few upvotes (10+), then someone misread it and accused me of antisemitic dog whistling, which was not the case. In other words, they were stirring up shit and making a bad-faith argument.
So I clarified my position, then other users piled on, the mod(s) deleted my comments, and I left.
And the user who made that accusation had made what could be perceived as an anti-Italian remark in a comment a few days before. My paternal grandparents were Italian. Needless to say, I was a bit upset that this person didn't follow the very strict standards that they held me to.
(By the way, Blahaj is also an LGBTQ+ safe space. The difference is, they're not assholes.)
Feel free to check my post history.
In the meantime, I'll leave you with some recommended reading, here and here.
My experience with hexbear was similar to my experiences with 8chan in that it was full of unreasonably hostile people with poor education and social skills.
Hey there! A lot of users on hexbear are from various countries, living in poverty, unhoused, and/or part of a marginalized community. It's very cool of you to say a lot of us are unreasonably hostile and uneducated.
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For what it’s worth, Discuit is also a generally friendly place.
Less than 200 weekly active users. Beehaw's Local feed is around the same, and still allow to access other Lemmy communities
I gotta check out Beehaw sometime. They’re part of the friendlier bloc of instances and they have rubber stamped Lemmy.ca the seal of approval.
Look, I really appreciate your numerous posts and comments in the RedditAlternatives subreddit, promoting Lemmy.
As for me, it's Discuit and local Lemmy feeds because I prefer that village vibe.
Yep yep yep, it's very confrontational and getting worse by the day
I don't agree its as bad or worse than Reddit which is packaged fury everywhere. However, the last few months tempers have certainly risen and bad-faith takes and antagonism are more visible in some communities. There seems to be a lot more right-wing people, or centerist apologists at least, than there were before the US election results and I think those results might play a part - emboldening some to speak up and causing so much stress in others that they lash out where they wouldn't have before.
Just make liberal use of the blocking options and take your time to find your people.
I think that your desire for a place where you can discuss the experiences unique to your generation is totally reasonable, and I'm sorry you've gotten backlash for asking how you can have the same thing others are enjoying. To me, there's obvious value in a Gen-Z community. Later generations too eventually.
My friends and life were already firmly established during the covid lockdown and I imagine that the younger you were the more impactful that period and the time after it must have been. I'd love to watch younger people talk about that time of their lives if only so I can learn more, and it's obvious I could learn other things I'm not even aware of yet from younger people's conversations.
I for one hope you stay, and even if you don't feel up to starting a new community I hope you get what you're looking for. There's nothing wrong with posting to a slow or dead community and just thinking of it like a small forum every once in a while. You're definitely not the only Gen-Z on here, and if you post someone else might feel more comfortable posting too!
Thanks, it generally means a lot! I just thought Lemmy is more welcoming instead of whatever is not in majority of the users' interests is bad and malicious.
I know you're venting, and there's not much to say to help.
I am genuinely surprised that you've found lemmy more unwelcoming than reddit. Yeah, it runs higher to snark here, but there's less outright nastiness. But on either platform, it usually is going to come down to the community and the type of community.
You know, gaming communities tend to run high to assholes because gamers run high to assholes. Same with specific anime series or other fandoms. Politics is always a shitty subject matter to talk about. That kind of thing. But, you step into one of the knife communities on lemmy, and you don't find the kind of aggressive jackassery that's available on reddit ones (not all of those, a couple managed to keep good mods during the debacle).
It sucks that people suck. Genuinely, I'm not dismissing your experience. I haven't found any corner of the internet that doesn't have suckitude due to sucky people, though some specific communities/subs/forums moderate for a civil and chill atmosphere. The jerks still pop up in those places, but they get whack-a-moled soon enough.
Yeah, I do think it comes down on whatever communities you're in which varies what the experience be like. Lemmy is very open-source focus which great asking for support and even finding interesting FOSS project but terrible how angry they get anything corporate or proprietary related and even they expectation for newbies to do.
You're going to likely interpret the following as snark or more anger, but I promise you it's not. I ask the following in good faith: if you encounter folks who believe that large corporations, generally, and the use of proprietary software/hardware by those corporations, specifically, are having harmful effects on humanity, do you expect those folks to respond without emotion when those subjects are broached? If so, why? Is it because you disagree with their assessment harm or is it because you believe that anger is never acceptable? Something else perhaps?
There are those who believe that even when confronting brutality and viscous exploitation, those who stand in opposition may only politely ask for change. Some other folks believe that these calls for restraint serve only to uphold and support the exploiters and the brutalizers.
You seem to be coming from a good place and your desire to get away from reddit probably reflects a belief that there's something wrong there. But maybe take a step back and ask yourself if there's a good reason that people seem angry?
You're going to likely interpret the following as snark or more anger, but I promise you it's not. I ask the following in good faith: if you encounter folks who believe that large corporations, generally, and the use of proprietary software/hardware by those corporations, specifically, are having harmful effects on humanity, do you expect those folks to respond without emotion when those subjects are broached? If so, why?
I do believe that large corporation should be held accountable for whenever they done anything shady and suggest alternatives as well as state the pros and cons of it.
My issue is them replying angrily at the people that happens to use it, not even knowing why they use it instead of the alternative, if the alternative can delivers what they can already do. Not all alternative are "one size, fit all" and sadly, some are more a compromise rather than they would get any benefit from using it.
You seem to be coming from a good place and your desire to get away from reddit probably reflects a belief that there's something wrong there. But maybe take a step back and ask yourself if there's a good reason that people seem angry?
I saw it the whole thing more as them assuming I want an community to mainly talk crap about older generation which isn't the case. To me, I vision the Gen-Z community I was wondering exist in Lemmy being like sort of like "90s kids" Facebook group which post meme related their childhood and stuff they grew up with. Again, not trying to do some generation war and talk crap at them.
If some have read my reply to others, they would realized that. But instead, they jump into conclusion so I felt like I was being yelled at for being a idiot for even asking and get accused for something I wasn't even thinking about.
If the tone is something like:
"I'm not too sure how good idea is having separate community for generation is as we're aleardy divided personally. But you find it better joining any community you find interesting"
I wouldn't be too upset and won't feel attacked and I can reply saying "It isn't meant to be a divide, rather..". But instead, they begin with "Fuck Gen-whatever" and be passive aggressive to me. That what annoyed me the most.
Seems reasonable to be honest
one of the knife communities on lemmy
Which ones do you recommend?
Those are the two I like the best. Both are relatively slow compared to the reddit ones, but everyone is really chill.
There's also [email protected]. It isn't a knife community, but it's knife friendly, and while it's slower than me on a cold morning, the user base is great when they're active.
Thanks!
No worries :)
Lemmy is full of echo chambers. People afraid to have a conversation with people with other opinions. A simple word will trigger them, its like you can all be wrong together.