this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
365 points (91.8% liked)
Greentext
4701 readers
3109 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
pissing standing up
I sit on my throne like a king.
I sit down every time I go to piss because it's one if the few places where I can be sure I'll be left alone. It's not about the piss. It's about the break.
It's also about not spraying piss all over my floor
Or having both hands for the phone, or not needing to blind yourself with a light in the middle of the night. So many reasons.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Someone doesn't just get followed into the bathroom I see.
Thank fuck, tbh.
And tuck them like a eunuch.
load more comments
(4 replies)
ok, sidepoint, but the other day I realized that urinals are just dedicated walls for people to pee on and I think that's really sweet
I've got news for you, on festivals there are sometimes literal metal walls to piss on with a drain beneath.
load more comments
(6 replies)
Okay then explain to me why every time you go to stand in front of one, your boss walks in and stands next to you starts talking to you about quarterly projections while you're trying to squeeze a single drop of pee as you sweat and pretend to be at all thinking or caring about work.
How is that sweet im curious
Well its probably sweet if you're diabetic
Only in a greentext will OP talk about their family members getting horny over little things
You guys with your weird water-to-the-brim toilets. My first encounter with an American toilet made me think it was clogged. So I pissed outside to satiate my feral needs.
the hell kind of toilet were you using? they usually have water in like the bottom third and the water level only goes up for a moment when you flush.
That's just because they don't have water in European toilets, they flush by spitting into the toilet until the poo goes down.
I use a nice "watch-your-shit" toilet
weird that the hole is in the front. most American toilets have the hole directly under your butthole and the poop just goes straight in (most of the time) with the water breaking it's fall on the way.
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(5 replies)
My mom used to say it sounded like a horse pissing onto a flat rock whenever I went to the bathroom. To which I would say "Gross! Why are you listening to me use the bathroom?!"
Short units make high pressure. Smart girls hear the Reynolds number and know
The solution clearly is to piss on her to establish dominance
why sinks are more practical
it's better to piss in the sink, than to sink in the piss
Try hearing all of your neighbors pissing...
I swear to Christ, I think I've stumbled onto the one apartment building with paper-thin walls that's also filled to the brim with neighbors who aim straight for the water...
view more: next ›