this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2024
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The Onion

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TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Former Florida representative Matt Gaetz informed his girlfriend Valentina he will be able to go to her 15th birthday party after ending his bid for Attorney General, sources who attend Rickards High School confirm.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Gaetz found out it wasn't "JV Dance" it was "JD Vance"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 20 hours ago

Oh yooooou! I love this comment!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 17 hours ago

Somebody was on reddit today

[–] [email protected] 72 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Sometimes the articles are just silly, but this one is worth the read!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

The cousins from Miami got me

[–] [email protected] 14 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

The "Gaetz made a post asking reddit how to make venmo payments private" was my favorite.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 19 hours ago

Because of course he would

[–] [email protected] 3 points 20 hours ago

I felt compelled to read it too. Haha.

Was not disappointed!

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 day ago (1 children)

So glad his schedule freed up

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He has time to finally go back and get another diploma. He can graduate high school again, right?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago

He’d probably prefer middle school

[–] [email protected] 4 points 21 hours ago

Punks probably drooling in anticipation

[–] [email protected] 3 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

TBF middle school volleyball finals take precedence

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I cannot wait for them to take over Infowars

[–] [email protected] 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

This one is a different satire newspaper, but yeah.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 22 hours ago

This one can take over breitbart or oan.