For those out of the loop:
Global Tetrahedron is a fake evil corporation the Onion used as a bad guy in some stories.
Global Tetrahedron is also the real company that bought the Onion earlier this year.
Global Tetrahedron the real company also really bought InfoWars in a bankruptcy auction.
Global Tetrahedron the fake evil corporation is who wrote this article.
this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
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The Onion's lore has layers.
Like an ogre
🤯
Replying to test email notifications
Got it
thanks
Unless it's the real evil corporation who wrote the article, as capitalism absorbs and monetizes criticism into itself...
Tim Onion has me wheezing.
Son of Tim Mirepoix, brother of Tim Carrot and Tim Celery and cousin of Tim Apple
Whoever downvoted you deserves a wedgie
Tim Apple's rival
so who is this guy?
is Tim Onion the official onion bluesky account?
CEO of Global Tetrahedron, The Onion's parent company
appreciate it, thanks.
Done.
They are a true unicorn, capable of simultaneously inspiring public support for billionaires and stoking outrage at an inept federal state that can assassinate JFK but can’t even put a man on the Moon.
Lmfao
I was very amused seeing something cross-posted in both "Not the Onion" and "The Onion" at the same time and side by side in my feed.
We live in interesting times
We live in a "Society"
Well....
Shit
Just when the country needed a laugh the most, The Onion went and did the funniest thing they could possibly do. This is a wonderful morning.
This is beautiful.
“a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin”. 😂
Real Cave Johnson energy.
My favorite part is how they plan on spending the extra money. Really need to help those at-risk dictatorships!
The excess funds initially allocated for the purchase will be reinvested into our philanthropic efforts that include business school scholarships for promising cult leaders, a charity that donates elections to at-risk third world dictators, and a new pro bono program pairing orphans with stable factory jobs at no cost to the factories.
These are the kinds of hard hitting issues that the people actually care about but were mysteriously absent in the talks leading up to the election. It's just crazy how out of touch politicians are these days.
Cheers, to the continued consolidation of power and capital!
Infinite Growth Forever!
Infinite Growth Forever,
🥂
Is this for real?
Is this, like, fantasy?
Caught in some landside?
Sucking dick behind Burger King.
Mama! Just blown a man!