this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2024
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(don't actually drink Drano, you're an idiot if you do)

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 day ago

This was a whole lot funnier 15 hours ago.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Sooooo, the morning after is here. Please tell us you used the Drano to get a clog clear.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Yeah don't drink draino. If you feel depressed and want everything to end, try something new: small crimes (eg graffiti), starting a union, volunteer work for food bank, election volunteer, etc

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

I would but I'm too depressed to even leave the house most days.

Has nothing to do with the election; that's just my default behavior.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago

Start an underground resistance, harbor repressed people in your attic/basement, etc.

[–] [email protected] 94 points 2 days ago (1 children)

As an Australian, i already know the results. Not going to say to avoid spoilers

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Don't worry, I'm European, I won't tell them pesky Americans. You can tell me.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

don't worry, soon you will also know, and it will be before us. Have a nice EOD you travellers from the future.

[–] [email protected] 137 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I know this is just a joke, but seriously don't kill yourself by drinking lye/drain cleaner. It a horrible death, basically slowly charing your esophagus and stomach until you die.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I might not be remembering it totally accurately but my school back in the day had some dude who attempted this come and talk to us about something, can’t remember exactly. Anyway, in order to save his life, doctors had to take his intestines and attach to his throat…OVER the rib cage. I’m pretty sure in order to eat he had to push the food down that over-the-rib intestine like trying to get the last of the toothpaste out of the tube.

[–] [email protected] 77 points 2 days ago (2 children)

What a horrible day to know how to read

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 days ago (1 children)

For real, I just wanted to read about antics related to the American election, and homie is coming in with the “hey, I have a story about nightmare bowel reconstruction” that makes me simultaneously thankful everything is okay on my end, sad for another person, and grossed out at the same time.

I’m too exhausted for it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

My apologies

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Here let me balance it out for you:

Jsndjslaleijenfnsknabwjelfoksnsbajririndnsnskfjkzmwowonrjfbdjzaiwjrnfnxksojendmxkzosmndnxndisnshufjd ok sndisnskdnidxjjsnndirjenf

Doesn't that make it better? For those that can't read, I typed out something wonderful. Text to audio doesn't do it justice.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I remember seeing this on TV - I believe it was grill cleaner? It's been quite some years... But I remember him showing how he had to manually push food down the front of his sternum... Creepy

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

I saw this on TV and it lives rent-free in my head, forever. Guy indeed has to manually assist chewed food on its way down. I don't recall if he's on a special diet, has to chew the hell out of his food for lack of a stomach, or anything else like that. What was clear is that how he got there, and the way life is now, is very unpleasant.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

My mom has peristalsis. That means her esophagus muscles no longer work, and so she has to have soft foods that go down really easily and has to either sit up really straight or stand up while she eats.

And I thought she had it bad.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

It doesn’t just unclog your digestive tract to be like a slip n slide for your food to come ou the other end mostly intact? The media lied to me

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If you're gonna be that extreme, just become an eco-tewwowist

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

UwU I'm an ecow-tewwowist now :3

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

Someone pass me the draino right now

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I thought Trump himself suggested bleach not draino.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Do you want to clean your system of COVID or not?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Instructions unclear. Tried to end it all, wound up cured of coronavirus instead.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Good plan. I mean personally I'd go with a .38 - Drano is gonna hurt like a motherfucker the whole time it's killing you.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Won’t hurt as bad as four more years of Trump.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Let them have a tiny glimmer of optimism in these dark days.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Poor fucking Ukriane..

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 days ago

Liquid plumber works much better to clear clogged living.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I think you're supposed to inject the Drano or something? Like to kill fake diseases that totally never happened... Or was that bleach?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Pretty sure it was bleach, and I'm pretty sure that the end result will be the same either way.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The different hand writing is bothering me...

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago

Someone did the Kamala one as a standalone. Then their spouse/roommate did the Trump one to supplement it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

I thought you were supposed to inject bleach. (do I need /s?)

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (2 children)
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