Shirts That Go Hard

Imagine being the guy at the novelty T-Shirt company, who takes requests.

And then THIS order comes in.....

Imagine a world where people just wear their dating profile on the back and then someone who fancy them says "I'm down for that, where's your consent form?".

This reads like a EULA

The longer you read it, the more bizzarely specific and funnier it gets

How were they able to catch a picture of him before he got swarmed by 17 and 18 year old blondes.

Terrifyingly specific.

Someone needs to put this text into a Star Wars style opening crawl

Lawful evil

It's nice for him to be inclusive of 18! year olds. Dating can be difficult for ladies in their mid-quadrillions.

It's like the intro text scroll to a Star Wars movie...

Seeing this in the wild my first thought would be that he lost some kind of bet or has been challenged into wearing this in a crowded place.

4chan irl

All of that text and he didn't specify what gender he's looking for.

The man has a type, and that type is either 17 or 6402373705728000 years old.

There must be easier less public ways to declare yourself a permanent virgin.

In the future for this guy; getting shived in prison for being a pedo.

Some shirts here honestly do not go that hard. But this shirt... this shirt goes fucking hard wow

Jesus Christ. Dude has no self awareness or taste. Just technical demands for a subjective experience.

I'll rather do:

The Country Needs You!

If you're legally blonde,

apply here.

Service grants citizenship.

Note:" Brevity is the soul of advertisement"

I would not hang around that guy in that shirt. Hell, just knowing he owned that shirt would make me terminate a friendship. That's fucking insane.

I want to be believe he lost a bet or dare. If not, I think this person would have more luck forgetting about dating and going super niche into a competitive hobby. Getting into a competitive hobby isn’t about getting laid, but about focusing your frustrations into something goal oriented and controllable. You cannot make someone like you, but you can become the god of your hobby kingdom. Maybe along the way they’ll learn social skills and graces which might help with getting laid.

Sometimes I think there should be a dating app specifically for awkward and less conventionally attractive people.

"sir, this is a Wendy's"

or

"my son is also named Bort"

Putting your physical description on your shirt 💀

c/libertarianshirts

This feels like we're making fun of someone with clear social disabilities.

I don't like it.

Women if you want me you have to be hot and have big titties. I'm a youtuber so I obviously don't care about age. Just don't snitch or tell the police. I'm too pretty to go to prison and I also don't wanna get beat into submission or get killed while i'm there. Also don't bring bear spray on our first date or a gun. Please come unarmed. Trust me I won't hurt you. The last three violent crimes I committed were well deserved and I won't do it again. Bring a ballgag thank you have a good day. I want a cupcake goodbye. 🥰🧁

The pinnacle of chivalry

This is just so ridiculous, it's hard for me to believe he actually believes or thinks this way. My assumption, and maybe I'm too optimistic here, is that he saw this and thought it was stupid funny and decided to buy/wear it to be immature funny/edgy...

I just can't fathom someone wearing this unironically. In which case, severe mental/cognitive issues?