this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 198 points 1 week ago

The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

[–] [email protected] 180 points 1 week ago (3 children)

$50 that Trump rages about this in the next 24 hours thinking Biden is still running.

[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 week ago

Suckers bet, I’m not taking it.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How will you be able to tell? His speeches are so incoherent! Hahqhahqha

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

I want people to send this to him now!

[–] [email protected] 140 points 1 week ago (1 children)

But The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

I love it.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Finally someone said it. I'm tired of the country of Geneva enforcing its conventions on me and how I approach wars.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Stop telling me what color shapes I can and cannot use, Geneva!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Calm down Canada.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

/c/NCD leaking

[–] [email protected] 117 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Joe Biden may be young by Washington standards

They really aren't pulling their punches!

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[–] [email protected] 99 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I guess none of you noticed the editorial board has a signature from Ted Kaczynski, aka Unabomber.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I have never actually read The Onion, I just like seeing their headlines.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago

There's some fun articles. Although I think they frequently drag on a little too long for a gag given my preference for not reading more than a few paragraphs at a time.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I need to wake up. I went to sleep drunk, I woke up feeling still drunk.

I read your username as "DopeSalad"

Thats not even CLOSE!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Don’t worry. It’s nothing serious anyways. There is a band named Hopesfall. I thought it was dumb so I came up with that.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Sure. Just a joke.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

pretty incredible that they managed to get his signature even though he’s dead

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

That's only of you listen to data. Stop listening to data.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 week ago (1 children)

upset at myself for taking a whole 10 seconds to get the joke

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago

It took me like 15 😭

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 week ago

I'm a Republican who Does Her Own Research and I TOLD you Libtards that Biden was still in the Race! The whole Kamala thing was a SHAM! HOW can they Endorse Biden if he isn't running STUPIDS!

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Lest readers doubt the value of our endorsement, we ask them to remember 2016, when voter complacency almost put Hillary Clinton in the White House before The Onion stepped in. 

We really dodged a bullet on that one! (/j)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

The Onion wanted to play on hard mode. How do you write satire when that shit head was in the White House?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 74 points 1 week ago (3 children)

You might know him for his academic papers.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 week ago

Among other works

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

you joke but this is how he's brightly discussed in some circles lol I have seen some concerning publications that refer to him as uncle Ted and other light-hearted names in a similar context

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Seems like it's up there with the killdozer Fandom. Casual terrorism... Or living the American dream?

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

And his cake having tendancies

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Yeah, the mathematician. What about him?

!it's a running gag for the onion!<

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I think Internet Explorer is in for him too.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Naw, they're rooting for Eisenhower.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

This is a great joke! It took me a second even after I saw the source. Well done!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Hell yeah I'm writing him in

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