AskTransgender

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A place to ask transgender people questions and get answers about the trans experience.

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Respect other people's identities
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[CW: Transphobia, Medical abuse] Why do doctors and therapists require that you "present as a woman" before prescribing HRT or bottom surgery (discuss.online)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Seriously why? It feels like they think it's really funny, to make us try and present feminine to get what we need to feel better. Like it's a fetish to see what they think is a man dressed as a woman asking for estrogen. My doctor and therapist called me he/him even though I told him she/her multiple times, I practically yelled at him for his repeated misgendering, he didn't care.

I wish I knew why doctors and therapists put these ridiculous requirements on people. It's not like people are taking estrogen recreationally, like for real what is this for. Also how does me wearing a dress when I have face stubble and a masculine body prove I "feel like a woman" dumb fucks just want to see what they think is a man wearing a dress. It's obvious they believe I'm a man. I wasn't willing to degrade myself or sink to that level, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. I got DIY, was the only option left that didn't involve degrading myself for those pigs and still getting denied anyway.

I'm sorry, I've had a bad day lately and I was recently reminded of this shit.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's transphobia. The Harry Benjamin standards of care gatekept trans folk from medical transition unless they were able to cis pass, and were willing to leave their lives behind and start again. Basically, the only trans people they wanted were trans people that they could pretend don't exist.

And the whole presentation thing was part of their assessment. People who didn't jump through their hoops were denied care.

That's from the 70s and 80s.

This is the lingering after effects of those standards of care, hurting gender diverse folk decades later...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I think it was a little more pernicious than that back in the 70s and 80s. IIRC you had to present as the opposite gender for a full year before surgery was an option.

In my mind it was "lets see if you can take all the abuse before you do something irreversible."

It's like they wanted to expose people to the absolute worst of humanity to convince them to not transition.

Source: Had a relative transition back then.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

because transphobia... pretty much

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Glad I live in an informed consent state, maybe you live close to one?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Which country are you in? If you can get someone else it might be an option to file a misconduct complaint with the medical oversight board and potentially criminal charges for insulting you.

And yeah, DIY is always the way to go. Use the medical system where you can, but NEVER trust them and NEVER let them get in your way. Lie if you have to.