this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 44 comments
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[–] [email protected] 83 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I mean if it just falls out on it's own, you'll need to get a new, bigger one anyway and the prince won't find who it fits... Because it no longer does.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I like how you really thought this through.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Kolanak, you are a beautiful, multifaceted weirdo, and seeing your comments really help make Lemmy feel like home. Please do some kegels to help ease your gaping asshole.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

After finding out what the male version is I'm now constantly wondering who's doing kegels without the people around them knowing

Filthy animals... 😈

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

We clench among you...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Alternatively, achoo

[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is a story I can get behind

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

you had to plug your comment don't you?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wait, they didn't give us a full rebuttal!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

You're not a lawyer?

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Did you hear?!!! The prince is going around the kingdom trying to find his true love 💕😘! If the butt plug fits you, then you could be the one!

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Does... Does he wash it first?

[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The prince does no such things. Now turn around, let's see if your the princess 😘💞. It's gonna feel a little warm because he just tried it over there.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That last sentence cracked me up

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Why do I hear progressively closer popping noises??

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Well, princess or "princess".

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Fur slipper > Glass slipper > Fur tail

I love it when jokes come full circle.

Fur slipper was likely a nod and wink that the prince knew Cinderella intimately....

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

The Prince was asking women to pull up their dress so he could inspect their snatchpatch?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

That makes the story so much funnier.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In the old tale, the stepsisters mutilated their feet to try to fit in the slipper. What’ll they come up with this time?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

"My God! It just falls right out!! It's you!! You are the one I turned out last night!!"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I can’t with you right now

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Instead a size check, it's a sniff test.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Christ, that's the risky click of the day

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Did you not trust the link-text at the bottom, which you see if you hover over it?

There still was a risk, but it turned out to be exactly the product I was looking for

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm on mobile so it was a true 50:50

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I would never click such links on mobile lol

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

just long press (at least on jerboa)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

And here too?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

Prince Charming probably will have fun testing it out on the step-sisters at least.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is one of my favorite stories, second only to the princess and the pee.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

lost her gas slipper again

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

90% chance this was as a queen, not the princess

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

There must be a gay Cinderella remake out there somewhere. Grindrella gets visited by the fairy thotmother, who transforms his button up shirt and black skinny chinos into a harness and jockstrap and sends him off the royal orgy. The next day Prince DomTop has to go around and top everyone in the village because it was a blackout orgy and he couldn't see anyone, meaning the only way he can find who Grindrella was is by remembering the feel of that bussy.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Great, dump it on the street for a kid to find it and pick it up and play with it...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Person got scared by a honk. Happens.