this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2024
535 points (98.2% liked)

Not The Onion

12239 readers
661 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
all 44 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 167 points 1 month ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

I regret that I have only one upvote to give for that awesome comment

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Ahhh, now that's a fine pun you got there.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

a little whooshYes but it's also a pun for "shit zoo"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Goddamn you...

[–] [email protected] 102 points 1 month ago (1 children)

China: Why does everyone question our discoveries?

Also China:

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But aren’t pandas from China? I was expecting this to be some other country that, you know, doesnt have pandas.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Pandas are owned by the government. Not everyone in China can get a panda.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

See also Panda diplomacy

In the late 2010s and early 2020s, with China–United States relations straining, China began declining to renew panda leases for U.S. zoos.[27][28] The San Diego Zoo pandas returned to China in 2019, followed by pandas at the Memphis Zoo and National Zoo in Washington, D.C. in 2023.[29]The Memphis pandas, Ya Ya and Le Le, became a rallying point for Chinese calls to repatriate the bears after accusations of poor living conditions circulated on Chinese social media sites and the sudden death of Le Le in February 2023.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Did they order their panda from Wish?

Cute doggo, but maybe don’t paint them?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They recalled them from the world famous San Diego zoo.....and the kids broke them the next day.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ooh that would be a nice scam. Accuse the US of returning painted dogs.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We should just get some hair samples the next time a Panda is on loan and clone us some. Every company that's ever had their products cloned after outsourcing to China would get a kick out of that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I’m sure they’d throw a big fit over it. It’s ok if they do it, but not us.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Wow, that's nuts

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

You know this led to huge fights and maybe a mental break or two.

"I'm TELLING you, those were fucking dogs!"

"Yeah, okay, bro, I'm sure you know better than the literal ZOO."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

“I came here to see the painted dogs. What the hell are these pandas?”

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Boy, nature just threw all the paints it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

those are gorgeous.

also probably severely misunderstood.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This story resurfaces every couple of months. Last time it turned out they had specifically advertised that they'd be having an event where they had the dogs groomed to look like pandas. Like, they never claimed they were actually pandas.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It’s a different incident from a different zoo.

Never heard your excuse before any of the many previous times this exact same thing has happened in China.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I wouldn't say it's my excuse, exactly, but I will say it's funny we think this could possibly convince any Chinese person they were seeing a panda.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

poor vs rich zoo

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Is Lets Build a Zoo prophecy or just a historically accurate simulation?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

A glitch in The matrix?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

That's the cutest dog I've ever seen lmfao

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well at least they don't need to pay rent to china

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Several pandas are in the US, on loan from China, and I think we may be paying rent on some.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hence not needing to pay rent.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No that's more importantly because these are dogs not pandas

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The Chinese government owns all pandas. You cannot buy a panda, only rent it, and some of that rent goes to the CCP

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago

How progressive.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Is it really a zoo or just some side show act charging $5 to see pandas in their back yard?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago