this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2024
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top 29 comments
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[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 month ago (5 children)

3 issues

  1. Not standing
  2. There are 5 of them
  3. Which Jesus?
[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (4 children)

#3 is clear. When Jesus enters the room, you get the fuck up.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

That was a very unexpected and wild ride through Wikipedia.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

When Jesus enters the room, you get the fuck up.

The same holds true for Martin Sheen:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKhTFDBj-rw

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

When the president stands, nobody sits

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Later that morning, Puke noticed that Allin still lay motionless in the same place where he had left him and posed for Polaroids with the corpse before calling for an ambulance.

Jesus Christ!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)

dir: Andrew Adamson

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Maybe the fifth one is Jesus?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Plot twist: the guy in the middle is jesus.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This reminds me of a joke:

Why didn't Jesus play basketball? Because soccer is a much more popular sport in Mexico.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Not only does Jesus play basketball, he's a super dick about it:

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think that's somewhere in Luke.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Plot twist: That’s not all that’s in Luke.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't know about Luke, but this is in Matthew (15:11)-

What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.

So swallow, don't spit.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What about what goes into, out of, and back into their mouth in rapid succession?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

He didn't make a judgment there apparently.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago

The guy in the middle can't tie his tie correctly. You don't leave it hanging on the side like that. I don't trust guys like that.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

They say that they will stand for Jesus, not that they're currently standing for Jesus.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

It's always what they will do tomorrow and never what can be done today, amiright?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I got all the way down on my one knee and nothing short of the second coming is gonna move me from this spot

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Don't think you can swallow the first coming in time?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ok I think I've got it.

Jesus is like Voltron, the 3 dudes in the middle combine to form him.
And the 2 on the ends are the spiritual equivalent of two men each, which is why all the parts of Jesus are hanging out with them.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Of shit what if it's like Captain planet, and if they all stand up at the same time it'll summon Jesus?
They're not allowed standing because they don't want to trigger the rapture!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

There is a lot of moustache going on there.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is this a proto-Piper Perri meme?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

They're waiting for Jesus' second coming

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Two grinners, three sinners. Nothing odd there at all