I used to believe that if you just work hard you'll get ahead in life

I always thought cigarettes contain tar, as in the substance asphalt on the road is made from. It always felt weird to me, why would they put it in the cigarettes but I figured maybe they need it so the tobacco doesn't fall out or something.

That the Mormon god was totally real

Ass cheeks were shit tanks.

Trees make wind because whenever there was wind, they moved.

Old people were always old

That god(s) exist(s).

When I was six years old or so, my sister called me a "cosweb" and told me it was the worst thing ever. I completely believed her for a long time.

That my family cared about me and supported me.

That my parents knew what they were doing, made good choices, and were reasonable people.

No, no, ... and no.

That I'd grow up to eat candy, collect baseball cards, play video games, and read comic books.

No (type II diabetes runs in my family), no (wtf is a baseball card anyway), no (video games were replaced with homework permanently), and — well, actually — yes.

I love a good comic book, graphic novel, and/or animated series.

That enough hot water bath could work just as well as sunbathing for getting a tan. Hey, both things can burn your skin, it's perfectly logical!

The crust on bread had more nutrients than the center. My dad didn’t want to cut my crusts off lol.

My uncle always swapped the words breast and best so my cousin mixes them up sometimes to this day. He said ‘breast friend’ at his brother’s wedding