768
Don't give them ideas, HT…
His brother already shared that his "big story" was no one wanted to sit next to Tim on road trips as a child because he used to get car sick.
this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2024
768 points (98.5% liked)
The Onion
4431 readers
1982 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
The Hard Times
Edited. Thanks!
Is that real? That legitimately sounds like an Onion article itself.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/jeff-walz-tim-walz-brother-carsickness_n_66d8ae04e4b09a3ee66d3568
Walz had implied in his Facebook posts that he had stories suggesting that his younger brother isn’t “the type of character you want making decisions about your future.” But in the segment Wednesday, he admitted to NewsNation that he didn’t have any political bombshells ― just some stomach-turning anecdotes.
“Nobody wanted to sit with him, because he had car sickness and would always throw up on us, that sort of thing,” Walz said. “There’s really nothing else hidden behind there. People are assuming something else. There’s other stories like that, but I think that probably gives you the gist of it.”
What a weird thing to talk about out loud. That feels like a joke you'd make at Thanksgiving, not publicly in the middle of a vice presidential campaign.
It’s real. Surprised that didn’t make it to nottheonion right away. Maybe I missed it.
I knew it! Tim Waltz, you're going down.
"Bag toss" lol
Satire site doesn't wanna say cornhole?
However, the governor will not be apologizing for calling it ‘bags’ instead of ‘cornhole.’”
Lol, fair. Didn't click through to read it.
I'm a gay northerner who moved to Georgia many years ago. When one of my co-workers said he was going to go play cornhole with his buddies, I asked if I could come too.
Needless to say, I was terribly disappointed.
I've always thought corn hole was receiving unlubricated anal sex. Is that correct?
My neck of the woods it was used to refer to m2m anal, don't know about the "unlubed" bit.
Disappointed because lack of butt stuff, or because cornhole is a really boring game?
I'd believe either.
Lol... Or both :)
My wife calls it 'bags'. Hung my head low the day I found out.
I was 35 before I heard it called anything but bags. I only found out it’s called cornhole (because I guess the bags used to be filled with corn?) because I was at a bar, and it was on. On ESPN. That’s also the day I learned ESPN will show just about anything that can be classified as a sport or game when there aren’t major sports events going on.
I laughed for a solid several minutes about it. (Thankfully I was not by myself or I’d have looked like a nutter)
It’s addressed in the article but the game has several regional names. Cornhole is one of them.
We all just called it "beanbag toss" when I was a kid, but now people from the area have switched to calling it cornhole.
Saying pop vs soda can get you killed in some places. This ain't shit.
Soda weirdos are the ones calling it bags.
The word "soda" comes from the sodium salts in carbonated water, which reduce the liquid's acidity. The word may also come from the Italian word suwwād, which refers to a saltwort that can be used to obtain sodium carbonate. The first known use of the word "soda" was in 1558.
The term "pop" was first used in the early 19th century as a colloquial term for fizzy drinks. The earliest known use of the word was in 1812, when poet Robert Southey wrote in a letter that a new drink was "called pop, because 'pop goes the cork' when it is drawn". The term "soda pop" was later combined from the words "pop" and "soda" in 1863.
I mean soda was around to refer to a carbonated beverage hundreds of years before pop came into use. Plus pop is one of those confusing English language words that can mean a few different things (dad, loud-noise, carbonated-beverage, punch, arrive, etc.). You do you though. And keep thinking anybody who does things differently than you is weird. That's healthy.
You may have taken this too seriously. Friendly got-your-back-reminder.
My mom's 100% rural redneck boyfriend is an avid "bags" player and calls soda "pop" as well as calling dinner "supper" and any dish he isn't familiar with is a "casserole"
load more comments
(1 replies)
I called it pop when I was a kid, then I grew up. I don't call it soda though. Now I just call it whatever is actually in the can.
I always play it safe and call it gassy sugar juice
load more comments
(1 replies)
Fake midwesterners!
"bag toss" also sounds kind of dirty to me
Hah, kinda.
to be fair, unless you're using corn cobs it ain't really cornhole
Growing up in the midwest, we always called it “bean bag toss.” I remember someone calling it “bean bag golf.” shrug
load more comments
(1 replies)
I saw the headline, and I automatically assumed that this was an actual "scandal" that Fox News was cooking up.
It took me way too many bites of this onion to realize what I was eating. Well done.
Conservatism has become identical to parodies of conservatism.
I got to family bbq and I was like what, why does this even matter…. Yes. Nice job onion
Now I finally understand the "both sides are the same" folks
Such a scandal! He must step down now! There can be no compromise on ethics for Democratic candidates!
He inflated the score by 2 points only. What a loser. Well he won, but you know what I mean. Don would have inflated the score by 145 points. He's the best inflater, nobody inflates like he does. He has inflated so much that he had the biggest inflation ever. Ah fuck, you know what I mean.
load more comments
(1 replies)
And Harris still chose him! They are trying to cover up #cornholegate
/S
Tim Walz inflated the score of the other team because they weren’t doing so well.
WeLfArE StAtE!
ParTiCIpaTIOn mEdALS!
I can see it now. Years into the future, a weird Republican coalition in Congress: "But his bag toss!" "Where's Tim's real score?"
As the country burns.
Mother fucker won't get away with this!
I'm a Republican that does their Own Research and this article PROVES Tim Walz is a HORRIBLE Person and only TRUMP who had an affair while his Wife was Pregnant is Fit to Lead the Country!
Next you're gonna tell me the fish he caught on a fishing trip in '99 was slightly smaller than he described. Outrageous.
The Onion is fake news! It wasn't Walter Mondale who did the photo op in the tank. It was Michael Dukakis. FAKE NEWS
That's it! I'm voting Trump. Where do I register as a Dutch citizen?
In other words doing dad stuff. Sounds like the "opposition" is against fatherhood now
Well that settles it, I'm voting for the Buff.
view more: next ›