Ask Lemmy

Bidet wash first. Then tp to dry and to, well there is no nice way of saying this, check how the bidet wash did its job. Used appropriately, you should use significantly less tp than before.

Ryobi cordless leaf blower. You have to aim for the rim because if you hit home it makes you burp.

Actually though, just dab with TP. You'll use much less TP and not need "flushable" wipes that still clog your main sewage line

I twerk a bit over the bowl.

Copying the text from another comment i made here:

I have a standalone bidet, not the toilet bowl attachment, which is basically a mini sink, and it works like a sink in that you can regulate flowrate and temperature with the handle

with this kind, you have 100% cleanliness since you use your hand to clean everything, and after it there's a mini-towel for each person, usually in a towel rack near the bidet so no-one gets confused, and usually in a smaller size then normal towels.

If you're worried about the idea of using your hand being unhygienic, rest assured, there's a radical invention called washing your hands afterwards, which, by the way, you should do anyways even if you use toilet paper.

I'm sleepy and read that as "Biden voters, how do you dry your ass afterward?" and was very confused. But like.. not as confused as I probably should have been.

You dab with toilet paper, for the love of all thats good, do not share an ass drying towel with your wife unless you went her to get chronic utis.

Just use the shells

I use 3 squares of TP, folded twice (into 4 layers). I never transitioned to a towel because the spray doesn't always get everything and the 3 squares are enough to dry it.

Trim your pubes back there and on your balls. It can make a big difference in how much water you can hold back there. I was using an extra two squares before my last trim.

Spray with bidet then dry with toilet paper. Why are people so confounded by these things? Have y’all never used water to bathe before?

.....toilet paper...?

Wipe, rinse with bidet, then wipe again to dry.

Pat dry with toilet paper

In Italy, where the bidet is its own "seat", we use small towels, one for each person. The ones that usually people vacationing in Italy think are for the face, they are actually for your ass. Hard to tell the difference on American tourists sometimes.

I invested in one of those super fancy "smart" toilets with built-in bidet and hot air drying.

I used to work for the manufacturer and got a big discount on it before I left. It has a lots of overkill functions but damn I love that thing: Night light, dedicated remote, smell absorbing filter, mobile app, automatic flushing, sensor operated seat.

Its the fanciest thing I own.

Upgrade to one with power. Never look back. Automatic flush, automatic seat raise and lower with a foot sensor, uv lights inside, foam/soap dispense into the bowl before and after, all the bidet features with constant and pulsing, articulating arm, heated seat, heated blow dry air, etc. It's absolutely amazing.

Assuming you're in the US just because the question only seems to come up there, and for our house there we imported them from Asia for less than $1k to the doorstep. Adding a power outlet is usually easy as most washrooms in the US have an outlet somewhere.

Bidet is like going to level 100 from 5. Super automatic Asian bidet is like a level 5000.

As a vulva owner, for me, the big win with the bidet isn't the butt.

Either way though, the goal is to get clean with water, instead of a dry piece of paper, and then use either toilet paper or a dedicated towel to dry down the now clean area.

Just like with a shower. You don't clean yourself with the towel. You get clean with water, and then dry with a towel

My bidet does not shoot at my whole ass. It only laser focuses on certain parts, which I dry with toilet paper.

Just use TP. The manual (yes, I RTFM for my bidet) said that people in Europe have a dedicated bidet towel but that sounds gross. The bidet doesn't always remove 100% before I first go to wipe.

one sheet of toilet paper

My ass is bone dry, mine has one of those fans and it can get very hot. Some sort of Toto variant I got years ago.

Unless you go absolutely stupid with the water, the bidet should dry your crack and the surrounding region. :)

follow-up question. how do you deal with ice cold water in the pipes? do you have to turn on the tap every time you sit down to get the hot water going?