this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2024
419 points (96.0% liked)

Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

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  1. Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
  2. It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
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[–] [email protected] 58 points 5 months ago (1 children)

What in Sam hell is that even supposed to be? Like what did it say on the menu?

[–] [email protected] 39 points 5 months ago (5 children)

Cheese is not supposed to look like that...

[–] [email protected] 54 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

That’s a melted Kraft Single. At least they removed the plastic first.

Edit: Yes, they’re wrapped in plastic. Please don’t burn it.

https://news.kraftheinzcompany.com/press-releases-details/2023/Kraft-Heinz-issues-voluntary-recall-of-select-Kraft-Singles-American-Processed-Cheese-Slices/default.aspx

[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (7 children)

The outside plastic at least

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

That’s cheez.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 5 months ago

It's like the recipe went through a game of telephone as it passed each state before reaching Iowa. I'd hate to see what Maine looks like

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Yup, I moved to an Iowa town with a lot of hispanic representation and was excited that there was a couple mexican restaurants in my area. The one everyone seems to love isn't THIS bad but its 100% made for white people "mexican" food. Thankfully, the hole the wall a couple blocks away is authentic.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago

The hole in the wall places are always the best, I think that’s true for most regional cuisines

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Honestly, it could be a thousand Iowa towns, but I think you just described Taco Tico in Fort Dodge. Drive thru runs onto the street often.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago (2 children)

The beans and rice bowls look pretty good, although I'll bet they're not spicy enough.

The cheese things... I can't even figure out what's supposed to be in there.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (17 children)

This photo reminds me of all the shitty restaurants that put the cheese on top of an omelette instead of inside it. And some of them are even using american slices.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This post is curiously short of details as to where such a feast is found in Iowa. I'll give you a hint: there is a lot of good Mexican food in Iowa. It is usually in hole-in-the wall restaurants that don't look like anything, and are owned by Mexican families. My guess is this food is from some sort of "family" restaurant. And the family is not Mexican or South American in ethnicity.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I am no online detective but I would guess this is from a restaurant called El Patron. There are a number of restaurants with that name in Iowa. As an example of one that claims to be “authentic”, checkout this place in Des Moines:

https://elpatroniowa.com/

My guess is that this place is owned by a Mexican family. I bet many other dishes they serve look more appetizing. Even with the crappy American cheese, this dish probably tastes better than it looks.

But what do I know? I am neither Mexican nor American. I have never eaten Mexican food in Iowa.

Edit: the logo matches this place in Waterloo. No website. Google reviews are pretty good. Not sure what expectations the residents of Waterloo have for their restaurants of course…

El Patron Family Mexican 301 East 4Th Street Waterloo, IA 50703 +1 319-287-8110

https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&hl=en-ca&sca_esv=1f8e5c078ce6d86e&sca_upv=1&cs=0&output=search&q=El%20Patron%20Family%20Mexican&ludocid=5769528799628627540&ibp=gwp%3B0%2C7&lsig=AB86z5XMW8UwLWGck0lRL9eiVrKz&kgs=2a02ee476b81f132&shndl=-1&shem=lrnolc%2Clsde%2Clsp%2Cssim&source=sh%2Fx%2Floc%2Fact%2Fm4%2F3

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

It's authentically made by a Mexican cook, but that dude fell on his head a lot as a kid.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (2 children)

After moving from Chicago I was stunned at the lack of Mexicans around here, and the lack of food. After Hurricane Ivan we got workers to move here and now I can get legit Mexican.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

At first I thought you said TO Chicago and I was like you can't throw a stick without hitting a good mex place in Chi town wtf....ohhhhh

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I want to downvote this, but I won't.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This is utter filth and an insult to the fine people and cuisines of Mexico. Fuck Iowa.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

that cheese alone is already an insult to cheese

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Google says that's El Patron in Waterloo Iowa, the menu shows "Pollo Fundido" which says it's covered in American cheese, so 🤷

Some other things on the menu look pretty good tho.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

So OP... got what they ordered?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Can confirm, a restaurant near me serves a Pollo Fundido that looks exactly like this. Honestly it's pretty good but I have trash taste.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

"Pollo Fundido" translates to "Melted Chicken" in case anyone was wondering.

shudders

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

The white people platter

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (2 children)

When i go to Tennessee, I usually carry Texas Pete or a jalapeno in my purse because all the food tastes like a biscuit.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

LMAO! I bought a bottle of Tapatio last time I was in TN so I'd have something.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

I had a friend from ND visit and asked me for the patio sauce. The other 3 of us at the table had no idea until he pointed to Tapatio.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

The hell? You guys are right next to Wisconsin, you should be able to get some real cheese...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

Idk man, the place by my house is really good and and serves nothing like this. The tacos are street tacos, served with verde and rojo. We do have a large Hispanic population in this area tho.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Was that guacamole microwaved? Nevermind don't tell me, I don't think I can handle it rn

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (5 children)
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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

Sad Mariachi noises

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

You have to remove the plastic wrapping first before microwaving those "objects".

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