Technology

I got to admit, Italians inventing Cheese DRM, wasn't on my 2023 Bingo card.

For fucks sake... This is literally about an RFID sticker that is put on the outside of whole cheese wheels.

So unless you buy whole 40kg wheel and then eat it with the rind... you are not eating any.

And also fuck that article for even mentioning that.

The chips use blockchain technology and trace the wheel of cheese back to where the milk that was used came from.

Cryptobros, Unite! We finally found a way for blockchain tech to be relevant for more than just ransomware! We authenticate cheese!

Someone's gonna make a ton of money on CheeseCoin

If I run low on health and have to eat several dozen cheese wheels, will the authentic DRM ones provide a greater HP boost compared to the generic cheese wheels?

Maybe I’m a picker eater, but I think I’d rather have an inauthentic product than eating a microchip.

Nothing enhances that Mediterranean flavor quite like micro plastics

The conspiracy theorists are going to run wild with this one.

its funny that some ppl are paranoid that bill gates is trying to microchip them with a vaccine when they probably already have been by the fucking itailians

Not really putting them "into" their cheese, just the labels that bind with their outer casing of the cheese wheel. Still neat.

They are being placed on the casein label, a food-safe label commonly used in cheese production, which is placed on the cheese wheel.

I guess in that case I should probably seek out the counterfeit versions of it since they're now apparently better than the originals.

Lol, cheese DRM. Just when I thought more DRM was impossible.

If I can make cheese good enough to pretend that it's another brand, I'm gonna just slap my own label on it

Next up. Improve your wireless network with cheese.

Why are they not using those nanotech microchip trackers that are small enough to fit in a vaccine, and that can communicate with a satellite without any need for a radio or battery?

Hold up...

There is counterfeit cheese?

if people who is eating them cant tell the difference than whats the point

TIL there's a global market in fake cheese. Which is to say, real cheese that someone slapped a fancier label on.

I'm sure all the steps we took to reach this point were logical ones, but we still find ourselves in a very strange place.

This is the best summary I could come up with:

The next time you dig into a bowl of pasta with freshly grated parmesan, you could accidentally be eating a microchip.

That's because makers of Parmigiano-Reggiano are implanting microchips into the casings of their 90-pound cheese wheels as the latest move to ward off counterfeiters, The Wall Street Journal reported.

Parmigiano-Reggiano must be made in a particular area of northern Italy's Emilia Romagna region and with specific production standards and techniques.

The microchip can then be scanned to pull up a unique serial ID that buyers can use to ensure they've got the real thing.

"We keep fighting with new methods," Alberto Pecorari, whose job is to protect the product's authenticity for a group that represents Parmigiano makers, told the Journal.

Parmigiano-Reggiano is among the many food products that are formally protected in the European Union, including Champagne from France and Feta from Greece.

The original article contains 324 words, the summary contains 144 words. Saved 56%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!

Now I want to try it... 🤤

The microchips aren’t edible because they want you to eat them. They’re edible because they know some idiot eventually will eat one.

I knew this was how Bill Gates would get us. Through our spaghetti and meatballs.

So if you eat the chip, does it mean you officially become a wheel of cheese?

TIL that counterfeit fucking cheese is a thing.

Are we not all chipped anyways through the civic vaccine? /s