I've seen this a lot in my life. People who are never going to be hungry or will never end up homeless treat the prospect of giving anyone else any amount of money as if it would bankrupt them. People in your life who are poor or have been poor, will just help you
I've seen obvious blue collar workers hand people their own groceries they just bought on public transit without the other person even asking
I've never seen any of my dozens of tech friends other than the one that's a communist ever give a homeless person any money or buy them any food when asked
I'm glad I don't see any of the techie guys I knew from college because they all behave this way, and also have the very obnoxious belief that anyone less successful than them has earned their lot in life. I have one friend who still sees them and I laugh whenever I hear about them racking up insane bills at a restaurant, completely oblivious to how it feels for the normal people they then demand to bill split with. They even charged my friend his share of a hotel stay for a trip he had to back out of, just insane shit
I used to wait tables and we had a regular who was a prominent local retail estate agent (like, multiple billboards with her face on them prominent). Everyone hated getting sat with her because she would insist on being sat in the party room by herself or with one person she was with (I guess she was too good for a table next to another customer's table) and you'd basically have to split your attention between two sections, neglecting your actual section that your other tables were in, inevitably leading to reduced tips from that section.
Then after like an hour and a half when she finally left she'd consistently tip one dollar. On top of being a ton of extra work, you'd generally net lose income for waiting on her.
As a former poor person, I have no issue with buying my coworkers and friends the next round or paying for the uber. But you can bet your grandmothers ass that I will file an expense claim to my employer for that 2$ patch cable I needed.
I'm a firm believer in telling people they can pay me back and then forgetting about the debt doctrine. My friend group has Three stooges style debt.
this is the way. ive got some friends ive known for like 15 years. we pay for each others shit all the time. where's the debt stand? idk man probably $1000 one way or the other but none of us could tell you which
I am really really really really really really really bad with money and wish I had more just so I could buy things for people to make them happy
I"ve only ever wanted to make other people happy and feel bad that I don't have the power to do so for more people
One time when I actually did work as a barista, I purchased a regular's order for them. She got a really big smile on her face and blew me a kiss as she drove off. I really just appreciated her as a customer (and might've also been a simp, but I just love how joyful she seemed overall either way).
had a friend of a friend offer me and my two friends a slice of pizza. before we could even finish bro pulled out the calculator app on his iphone 15 to determine we all needed to add him on venmo to send 94 cents each. next time i saw him he talked about taking cruise ships every summer
you guys should hit him with hammers
94 times
In for a penny, in for a pounding
that's how the sigma affords the iPhone 15 and the cruise ships
I try not to be that guy, but I have a lot of friends like this (will literally venmo charge you in the moment). It just makes the relationship feel transactional.
Those people wear me out
I always try to be the one that initiates a good faith system so people can get a feel for what I'm about. Worst case is someone tries to take advantage of me, but by then their (lack of) character shows up in other ways
The poorest people I know have always been the most generous.
It's a damn near universal constant that rich people are greedy assholes.
Sometimes you get some that are cool people who inherited a bunch of money but in general they're the scum of the earth.
Talk to any server and they'll tell you the people who roll up in fancy cars with watches worth more than a mortgage are the ones doing the math to leave exactly 12% while it's the guys on lunch break from a job site that'll leave a $10 on a $25 ticket.
The less certain maintaining your own personal material conditions are, the more cooperative and community-focused you become.
I was trying to get rid of an old nes a year or so ago and offered it to a coworker, he asked how much I wanted for it and I just told him to buy me lunch some time.
Months go by and I've totally forgotten and we're getting lunch and he's like "nah this one is on me for the NES".
I hate venmo culture so much, just have vague favors and stop counting the pennies for the love of god.
just have vague favors
that's just because he respects the GRIND you PEASANT
NOW FINISH SHOVELING THE DUNG
Who in the hell is making $450k per year as a software developer
Probably only if you are a principle engineer at FAANG and not even these days since the tech crash. But mrah someone who is ultimately also just a laborer made more money than me so they’re the problem.
But mrah someone who is ultimately also just a laborer made more money than me so they’re the problem
If we're friends that regularly hang out and they ask me to cover half of the 10 dollar Uber ride that they called or my 1 beer at the bar then yes, they're the problem
No surprise, the best tech friends I've had we never send money to each other unless it's in the order of hundreds. Anything else we just go back and forth on
All my tech friends who were dead set on going even for everything, even the ones that have offered to pay me 2 dollars for the movie popcorn that I bought, have all turned out to be neoliberals that don't care about anybody outside of their friend groups or tech/finance social circles
I have a hard time convincing people not to pay me back to the point where I actually get really annoyed. Constant unending "oooh i can't accept blah for free blah blah blah must pay you back blah blah" SHUT UP SHUT UP
i've seen a couple posts about this phenomena before and every time i check the comments there's people going "that's how they stay rich!" as if pocket change gave them their lake house 😭
the fact all these mfs PAY MONTHLY FOR TWITTER while emphasizing penny pinching is fucking hilarious (2nd/3rd just have the checkmark hidden, you gotta scroll past every blue to get the normal users)
I live with somebody like this, i have just stopped accepting their offers because I know they'll pull some shit like this.
Wait what is that $450k job I need that
https://www.levels.fyi/t/software-engineer?countryId=254&country=254
Go get 'em tiger
Oops! All defense firms!
An E3 at Netflix makes 450k!?
Netflix pays crazy rates, but treat their employees as bad if not worse than Amazon. Last I heard the average tenure there is 12-18 months (granted, that's still a fuckload of money).
Last I heard the average tenure there is 12-18
lmao 6 months of that is settling in and not achieving much no wonder netflix is going down the tube
Working there for 2 years and moving up the ladder and gaining influence, eventually convincing the executives that limiting customers to 5 movies a day is a great idea. Then by the time the company has tanked, you would’ve made a million bucks and dipped to another state
Too real
I'm the failure in my friend group, they're all highly paid software engineers and I'm a POS factory schmuck. But I have both experiences between a few of them. One of them is cheap as shit, made his wife deal with a broken graphics card where the screen kept going black in the middle of playing for years, while my other friend keeps buying me games he wants me to play with him so I reciprocate when there's one I want him to play lol
You can see this along countries and cultures too; westerners are usually way more stingy than people in the global south. Middle Easterners, North Africans, South Asians, Latin Americans, etc. will constantly try to do favors for family, friends, acquaintances. Muslims will randomly offer and insist on giving people free gifts or food. I've heard Swedish people tell guests to wait in the other room while their family eats dinner.
i used to bring donuts to work every friday or every other friday at one point.. no one else ever bothered to but they were sure as hell happy to eat them all.. then it got to the point where one of the guys who was definitely making $500k+/yr bitched at me for not getting any apple fritters and that's the only kind of donut he liked
then i stopped bringing donuts in
I guess the silver lining is that more people seem to be starting to realize those guys are evil insufferable pricks. Basically all my life before now, the narrative would have been twisted with "no, see, he's *frugal and those behaviors are why he's rich and everyone else should emulate this"
I literally have the opposite problem with my mates. I feel that I'm two dinners in debt to them, but they'll still insist on getting the next one because I paid last time, or something.
My grandma used to say, “Always underpay or overpay a debt to friends”. It’s a way of keeping people in your life, keeping that obligation alive. Not in a manipulative way. Obviously you don’t want people talking to you out of pure obligation. Just more of a gesture indicating that we don’t plan to part ways forever.
Is your grandma David Graeber?
except for that price, what uber price fraction is this!
I only request a payback with exact or rounded up amount if the other person is richer than me
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