this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2024
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cross-posted from: https://feddit.uk/post/9649718

A Texas man has legally changed his name to Literally Anybody Else and announced he is running for US president in the 2024 election.

Formerly known as Dustin Ebey, the 35-year-old is a US army veteran and seventh-grade math teacher in the suburbs of Dallas, and now has a Texas driver’s license to prove his name change.

He said he wanted to change his name because he was unsatisfied with this year’s presidential candidates, Joe Biden and Donald Trump.

“Three hundred million people can do better,” he said in reference to the two frontrunners for the nation’s highest office. “There really should be some outlet for people like me who are just so fed up with this constant power grab between the two parties that just has no benefit to the common person.

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[–] [email protected] 117 points 7 months ago (2 children)

20% chance this man goes viral and actually gets elected

[–] [email protected] 140 points 7 months ago (3 children)

35-year-old is a US army veteran and seventh-grade math teacher

Sounds like he'd be better than Trump by a mile.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Shit, I don't know jack shit about this person but I'd lock in this third candidate if it was ranked choice between the three. Seriously, I believe in humanity enough that Guy, Random is my presidential character select choice.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 7 months ago

I don't know, I'm still leaning for Literally Anybody Else but Random Guy has some good points

[–] [email protected] 32 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Dude could die and be better than Trump.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago

Holy shit. Call the burn ward

[–] [email protected] 29 points 7 months ago

going by just this and the fact he isnt backed by billionaire donors, and isnt doing a genocide? this dude is better than both alternatives you have.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Let's bump those numbers up.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Write-in campaign huh. Wonder if some people will accidentally vote for him and whether that would count

[–] [email protected] 30 points 7 months ago (1 children)

That's probably the idea, and yes, any valid vote counts.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (3 children)

literally not how it works. most places require voter intent. meaning only votes people meant to cast count. if a voting official notices that a person named Literally Anybody Else won by a write in, they'd go through all the ballots and make sure the ballots literally say Literally Anybody Else written out validly like a name. those in who they aren't sure of would require another election official to track down the voter and ask for their intent.

source: worked in the ballot counting process of a country. they literally have teams trying to decide shit like if you filled all bubble on scantrons, but circled one of the bubbles, does that count as intent? does it count as intent if they circle all the bubbles but not fill any of the scantrons bubbles? and yes, they count the votes even if they don't follow scantron directions but clearly demonstrate intent. i.e drawing arrows with a thing saying "this one!" next to all the bubbles you want may count as intent.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 7 months ago (1 children)

most places require voter intent. meaning only votes people meant to cast count

Someone wasn't paying attention in 2000..

The Republicans have been trying to trick people into unintentionally voting for Republicans or nobody for several decades now..

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

most places have intent laws and it's usually up to the county officials and secretary of states to enforce those laws. doesn't mean it gets enforced fully or that parties won't try their best to play things to their advantage on ballots by playing with rules or even ballot designs. however, I think any election official, politics aside, will investigate a person named Literally Anybody Else being elected by write in.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm sorry, I'm hung up on you saying election officials would track down the voter to confirm their intent. And you mentioned you volunteered or worked in elections possibly in not-the-US. In the US (or at least in my state) ballots are anonymous. That was why such a fuss was made in 2000 over trying to determine what the voter intended if a ballot had a "hanging chad". They couldn't just track down the person to confirm, and the margins were close enough to call a recount but not for a do-over. It was election purgatory.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

This is why everyone leaves personally identifying information on the ballot and when you vote they take your vote, look over it, and put it in a box assigned to your name.

It takes a few days for all votes to appear on the public vote registry where everyone can see who you voted for, and sometimes the president will call you to thank you for your vote.

Source: I am the president

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

track down the voter

Any election where this is even possible is a waste of everyone's time. I don't know what country you worked in, but wherever you were, those were corrupt wastes of time, not elections.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

like I said in other posts, your casted vote is anonymous but not your ballot packet. when you cast a vote into the system, it can't be traced to you. so nobody can say I want a list of all the people who voted for Biden. but if you drop your ballot packet outside the polling location, polling officials can look you up on the voter poll registration book and identify that packet belongs to you. most places only anonymize your data when they separate the ballot from the envelope it's enclosed in. usually before that, there is an id matched to your ballot packet to your voter registration. some counties vet ballots prior to separating ballots from packets. this is mostly done for checking intent and that there aren't weird shit in there (a lot of people stuff gifts and stuff into their envelopes) before being sent off for tallying.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

If you're going to do goofy stuff with your ballot you should know what the laws are so your funny joke nobody sees doesn't spoil your ballot entirely and make none of your votes count.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Jokes on you, I live in Tennessee and the Democrats gave up on my formerly purple county

[–] [email protected] 53 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago

He received almost seven percent of the vote for Lieutenant Governor of Washington in 1992

Nice! 😄

[–] [email protected] 38 points 7 months ago

Bro should have been collecting signatures months ago, good luck getting on the ballot.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Biden is a hell of a lot better than a large number of people would be. Not so much Trump, though.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This is dangerously unclear because it could mean you think trump isn't better than a large number of people, or Biden is better than a large number of people, but not better than trump. Lol

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I thought it was clear, but to be clearer, there are very few people who would be worse than Trump. Putin, maybe.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Vote 1 Nobody

Nobody knows how to properly run the country.

Nobody is trustworthy and honest.

Nobody will work to fix issues in your local area.

Nobody cares.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I voted for him last time. 🤷

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

Nobody noticed that.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

If he actually wanted to change anything he'd be rallying against 2 senators per state. Instead he did some stupid bullshit that won't change anyone's mind at all.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (2 children)

It won't do anything, but it's funny.

However I do agree that there are way bigger fish to fry in govt right now. My personal beef is about the lack of term limits in congress. Those idiots should not be allowed to work 20+ years in an elected office simply because they are the familiar name.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Term limits need to be balanced. Make it too short and legislators don't develop the expertise needed to do their job. If legislators don't know how to do their job, well-paid and well-connected lobbyists will gladly help legislators.

Set the term length too long and you get entrenched legislators who've been in the job well past their expiration date.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Personally I'd work on ranked-choice voting before term limits.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

The Wikipedia page for others like me who wouldn't watch a video.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

You should watch the video. Vermin Supreme appearances are a fun watch.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

what if we used 100% of our brains?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

what if we used 100% of our brains?

We would ascend to a higher state of being, and wouldn't have to worry about voting.

Either that, or we would be able to levitate a voting booth with our mind.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Imagine having to explain this to everyone you meet 10 years from now

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

I imagine you still introduce yourself with your regular name.

Though anything involving your ID probably results in a joke that gets old for you but is new and interesting to whoever you are talking with.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Vote Ficus.

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