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113

my f1nn5ter stance (hexbear.net)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

62 comments fedilink hide all child comments

i hope he's changed! and i'm glad people being shitty to trans women using femboys as a cudgel no longer have such a high profile tool to use! but i need people to understand this

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I feel that this attitude has a problem, a double edge to the sword of the criticism. And thats that it basically supports forced outing of closeted public figures.

Its similar to the "queer roles go to queer actors" rhetoric (though I think unlike your criticisms of F1nn, that idea is just straight up wrong because of the forced outing issue), or the stuff discussed in Sarah Z'd video about queerbaiting accusations towards celebrities.

In this case, I think the side of the sword your criticism is on is sharper. I do completly disagree with the people saying he has a responsability to disclose HRT immediatly though, for this reason.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

That there are one or two people itt who criticize finn not disclosing that he's on HRT earlier is a minor sideline of this discussion, and if you feel the usual male need to insert yourself into a debate you only understand on the surface level, you should have stuck to that comment chain.

As a reminder for you and the 4 people who upvoted this: The main problem called out itt, and in comrade @[email protected]s comments earlier in the thread discussing finnster's coming out vid, has always been how finnster has deliberately perpetuated the most harmful transphobic stereotypes, the ones that regularly lead to trans women getting murdered by men: The idea that we'd be actually just guys who try to trick other men into sleeping with them by disguising as girls. This is the "trap" narrative that is the motive for the majority of transphobic murders, which are usually perpetrated by men who have slept with or have made advances towards a trans woman and then freak out and turn to violence because they feel tricked and feel their sexuality has been called into doubt, which can only be restored by violence against our sister.

And finn has repeatedly made content that plays into this, he has built an audience around this, cultivated a toxic fanbase full of people with such misinformed transphobic ideas stuck in their heads, and has done NOTHING to correct this, which is inexcusable. You can be a cis crossdresser or genderfluid or figuring out and experimenting with your gender or be a closeted trans woman or literally any other gender identity and sexuality without producing clickbait that exclusively piggybacks on the most deadly kind of transphobia. THAT is the point being discussed here. THAT is what finnster is being called out for. It's right in the image attached to the OP. There are extensive posts itt explaining this, there are screencaps of these videos' title cards, there are several harrowing firsthand accounts of transphobic harassment our comrades have been subjected to by people directly referencing finnster.

It's really not needed and downright insulting to completely ignore all of this just because you want to have a say in this debate.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

In this case, I think the side of the sword your criticism is on is sharper.

Do you think that maybe this meant that I actually agree with OP's main point, but just wanted to point out a potential side problem? That in fact was NOT just about the disclosing HRT thing?

Btw i commented on this thread because a trans person came to me privately saying how much the discourse in here was upsetting them but they didnt feel like expressing their thoughts because their on a Hexbear break. And when I mentioned this discourse to my transfemme friends in other circles, quiet a few of them said they view F1nn as a proactive ally and disagree with the discourse in here. And funny enough I acutally brought up OP's screenshots of recent F1inn videos in response to that. So I'm literally actually pushing OP's point elsewhere.

So maybe dont assume I was just like mansplaining or whatever (note that autistic communication comes off as "splaining" when it isnt meant that way quiet frequently). What it actually was is that I have a pathological, autistic need to speak up for people who have opinions but are not able to express them themselves. A friend came to me to express discomfort privately and that put me in defense mode.

That there are one or two people itt who criticize finn not disclosing that he's on HRT

Yeah and one of those people was also a man (or has he/him in his bio, but likely me also has other pronouns in their bio..., my current gender status is questioning actually, which really speaks to the entire problem here funnily enough!) and you didnt feel the need to accuse them of the same shit so.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Do you think that maybe this meant that I actually agree with OP's main point, but just wanted to point out a potential side problem? That in fact was NOT just about the disclosing HRT thing?

In hindsight, yeah, sure. idk if it's as obvious as you think tho. You see, i'm neurotypical myself and when i see a post on here that - as you admitted yourself - sounds an awful lot like mansplaining, how much benefit of the doubt am i supposed to give it? I already took half a dozen mean jabs out of my original comment, it took me for fucking ever to write because i was trying not to be too harsh on you specifically, the reason that post was snide and scolding and not just a manic yelling fit was that i did a ton of compartmentalization and taking a deep breath and bottling things up and i did all of that in spite of my last therapist (the one i went to because my country forces psychotherapy on trans people when we want to access any kind of medical transition through the healthcare system) telling me not to mask like that when something upsets me because it's so obviously harmful. Because it means i have to keep a ton of stuff i should vent inside instead. You know how autism, emotion regulation and being confronted with injustice can interact, right? I can't remain silent when i see a post i interpret in the way i interpreted your post. I just can't.

I get where you're coming from, it's actually cool to hear that you treat the subject like this irl and i'm really, really sorry about the assumptions i made about your gender, i can't stress that part enough. I'm just saying that when i see a post like yours on this comm, i'm normally less hesitant to call people names than i was when i saw it was written by you and not some rando walking in from the lemmyverse.

Is it ok when we leave it at that? Maybe i'll drop by in the comment chain about HRT disclosure, i see your concerns in that regard although i haven't fully made up my mind yet on where i stand on that subject in this case. But is it ok when we just let this particular exchange slide and be done with it? I find it really stressful, you probably do so as well, and i think we've both made clear where we come from with this. I'm deliberately not saying disengage, it's ok if you still have something to add, but i hope it isn't necessary and that we're even.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

We're good. Thanks for the clarification.

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