i hope he's changed! and i'm glad people being shitty to trans women using femboys as a cudgel no longer have such a high profile tool to use! but i need people to understand this
this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2024
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Do you think that maybe this meant that I actually agree with OP's main point, but just wanted to point out a potential side problem? That in fact was NOT just about the disclosing HRT thing?
Btw i commented on this thread because a trans person came to me privately saying how much the discourse in here was upsetting them but they didnt feel like expressing their thoughts because their on a Hexbear break. And when I mentioned this discourse to my transfemme friends in other circles, quiet a few of them said they view F1nn as a proactive ally and disagree with the discourse in here. And funny enough I acutally brought up OP's screenshots of recent F1inn videos in response to that. So I'm literally actually pushing OP's point elsewhere.
So maybe dont assume I was just like mansplaining or whatever (note that autistic communication comes off as "splaining" when it isnt meant that way quiet frequently). What it actually was is that I have a pathological, autistic need to speak up for people who have opinions but are not able to express them themselves. A friend came to me to express discomfort privately and that put me in defense mode.
Yeah and one of those people was also a man (or has he/him in his bio, but likely me also has other pronouns in their bio..., my current gender status is questioning actually, which really speaks to the entire problem here funnily enough!) and you didnt feel the need to accuse them of the same shit so.
In hindsight, yeah, sure. idk if it's as obvious as you think tho. You see, i'm neurotypical myself and when i see a post on here that - as you admitted yourself - sounds an awful lot like mansplaining, how much benefit of the doubt am i supposed to give it? I already took half a dozen mean jabs out of my original comment, it took me for fucking ever to write because i was trying not to be too harsh on you specifically, the reason that post was snide and scolding and not just a manic yelling fit was that i did a ton of compartmentalization and taking a deep breath and bottling things up and i did all of that in spite of my last therapist (the one i went to because my country forces psychotherapy on trans people when we want to access any kind of medical transition through the healthcare system) telling me not to mask like that when something upsets me because it's so obviously harmful. Because it means i have to keep a ton of stuff i should vent inside instead. You know how autism, emotion regulation and being confronted with injustice can interact, right? I can't remain silent when i see a post i interpret in the way i interpreted your post. I just can't.
I get where you're coming from, it's actually cool to hear that you treat the subject like this irl and i'm really, really sorry about the assumptions i made about your gender, i can't stress that part enough. I'm just saying that when i see a post like yours on this comm, i'm normally less hesitant to call people names than i was when i saw it was written by you and not some rando walking in from the lemmyverse.
Is it ok when we leave it at that? Maybe i'll drop by in the comment chain about HRT disclosure, i see your concerns in that regard although i haven't fully made up my mind yet on where i stand on that subject in this case. But is it ok when we just let this particular exchange slide and be done with it? I find it really stressful, you probably do so as well, and i think we've both made clear where we come from with this. I'm deliberately not saying disengage, it's ok if you still have something to add, but i hope it isn't necessary and that we're even.
We're good. Thanks for the clarification.