this post was submitted on 29 Feb 2024
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traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnns

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if you call everyone dude and a transfem person gets mad about it, don't get defensive. just say like "sorry, i won't do it again" and don't argue "actually it's gender neutral" or "i call everyone dude". even if you do, i guarantee she's heard that argument from someone who very much does not call people they see as women dude. i certainly have

same goes double for the word guy.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (3 children)

My dear ex-friend used to call me dude all the time, literally all the time and I loved it so much. And then another former friend, who I blocked because of shit related to this, just had to say some shit to me about this, when I was in the middle of having a meltdown over a fight I was having with them (my ex-friend), and it should’ve been fairly obvious that I didn’t care that they called me dude.

(What made me block him in the end was that, he had met them, and because he’s known me for like 6 fucking years, I asked him to maybe try to talk to them. He didn’t want to because of something petty. He never took my feelings for them seriously. So fuck him.)

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (9 children)

I'm a non native speaker and only officially learned basic grammar pronouns (I to they). All the street pronouns (dude, y'all, pardner) I've learned were from the internet.

What are the best gender neutral street pronouns in current use?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Is dudette ok? Asking in earnest, I'm just a dudebro cis guy who loves and respects my trans comrades.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

if you're talking to a transfem, yeah probably. i wouldn't do it to an AFAB person and I also wouldn't do it to a lot of nonbinary people.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Ty. I usually just call people by their name honestly.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Never called people dude because I found it too cringey and try hard. I find it especially weird when I see parents calling their kids that like they’re school buddies and not their parents.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

I think it can be (not always), but if someone is bothered by it I'm not going to bother them about it.

One that annoyed me was saying "man" at the start of sentences. Like "man, this sucks", which seems to me like "Allah, this sucks". I'm not referring to people in the vicinity. But it took me a while to figure out what the annoyance was. Also only one person seemed to think I was referring to them and I stopped around them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Anyone care to share thoughts on bruh and bruh moment?

cos the root is bro, right? Bruh seems like it could be hurtful, but a bruh moment is almost its own thing

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

About as offensive as bro. Yes, i'm aware that it's often not even used to adress somebody directly, idgaf, just don't.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

fucking with the gender of dude by just randomly throwing in an x somewhere in the word so its like dxde

thought about dvde but it looks too fascist

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

a friend calls everyone dude, but they’re also super normal about it and check in with people to make sure they’re comfortable with the term and/or whether they have another they’d prefer

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